Total pages in book: 73
Estimated words: 71843 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 359(@200wpm)___ 287(@250wpm)___ 239(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 71843 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 359(@200wpm)___ 287(@250wpm)___ 239(@300wpm)
Jory: Okay, next question.
Sam: Hey.
Jory: What?
Sam: My last words will be, Jory, you’ve been the blessing of my life.
Jory: …
Sam: Don’t cry.
Jory: …
Sam: Oh for crissakes, c’mere.
NUMBER…whatever this is.
Sam: You should just not do a column this month.
Jory: I have a fanbase, you know.
Sam: But do you?
Jory: Rude. Okay. Uhm…
Sam: Call somebody.
Jory: Oh, good idea. Let’s call Dane.
Sam: You need to use Zoom instead of Skype.
Jory: Says you.
Sam: Mark my words, Skype will be gone and Zoom will take over.
Jory: I don’t know about that.
Dane: Yes?
Jory: Why do you look so pained to see me?
Dane: I’m not. What may I do for you?
Jory: What inspires you the most?
Dane: …
Jory: Don’t glare at me, answer the question.
Dane: Why?
Jory: I’m doing a question thing.
Dane: My wife and children.
Jory: Ohmygod that’s so boring.
Dane: …
Jory: He hung up on me.
Sam: As he should have. His wife makes him a better man, and his children make him want to be one. What was wrong with that answer?
Jory: I realize that the answers to these questions are going to be so unimaginative.
Sam: In what way?
Jory: Wait, I’ll show you.
Aaron: …
Jory: Why does everybody look like that when I call?
Aaron: I’m certain I have no idea.
Jory: Don’t be an ass, just answer this question.
Aaron: Are you taking some sort of poll?
Jory: No. Okay. I want to know what do you think are the five most beautiful things in the world, and why?
Aaron: Seriously? We’re having a pop quiz?
Jory: Yes, seriously.
Aaron: Duncan, because he’s mine––
Jory: You see?
Sam: What am I seeing?
Aaron: Am I still answering?
Jory: No. I was just proving a point to Sam.
Aaron: Thrilling.
Duncan (in background): Did you just say I was one of the most beautiful things in the world?
Aaron: Of course.
Sam: They’re gonna start makin’ out. Hang up before the floor show starts.
Jory: They’re not going to—oh. Well now.
Sam: My eyes!
Jory: I’m calling Dane back.
Sam: I’m sure he’ll be thrilled.
Dane: …
Jory: Again with the look?
Dane: What do you need?
Jory: It’s rude to hang up on people.
Dane: And it’s equally rude to make fun of the answers they give you.
Jory: Yeah, all right.
Dane: You may proceed.
NUMBER… I really have lost track.
Dane: Call it eight. Eight’s a good number.
Jory: Okay, question number eight. Do you trust anyone with your life?
Dane: Yes. Aja. Sam. Jude. And you of course.
Jory: Me too. I mean, you.
Dane: No surprise there.
Jory: How about, do you believe in heaven and hell?
Dane: You know very well that I do not.
Aja: I do. Hi, Jory.
Jory: Hey. So you do? Believe in both?
Aja: Yes, and I’ll make sure Dane gets where he’s supposed to go so I can have him with me throughout eternity.
Jory: That’s so sappy and sweet.
Aja: And Sam will take care of you, of course.
Jory: Wait. Sam, do you believe in heaven and hell too? Like, as in they’re real places?
Sam: I believe that there are forms of both, so yes.
Jory: Huh.
Aja: You see?
Jory: Okay, wait. What is something you’re certain you’ll never experience?
Aja: Cheating.
Jory: Interesting.
Aja: Why?
Jory: You’re certain, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that Dane would never cheat on you?
Aja: Yes. It’s not him. It’s not me. I don’t even see any man but him, and I know he’s exactly the same.
Jory: Huh. And you?
Sam: Same answer, plus scuba diving and hang gliding.
Jory: You would never hang glide?
Sam: Nope.
Jory: You’ve jumped out of airplanes.
Sam: Really not the same.
Aja: Ditto. I’m not doing either of those. I mean, sharks, right? Why would I need to ever test that?
Sam: Absolutely.
Dane: Scuba diving is incredible, as is hang gliding.
Sam: I’ll take your word for it.
Aja: Sam? What’s your answer?
Sam: I’ll go with cheating and…winning the lottery. I mean, what are the actual chances of winning the Powerball?
Dane: 1 in 292.2 million.
Jory: Why do you know that?
Dane: Because of you. I have had to become a font of trivial information to answer questions just like that one at the drop of a hat.
Jory: You guys both look so pretty. I miss you.
Dane: We miss you too. Now go back to what you were doing. We’ll talk to you later.
Jory: Fine. Goodbye.
Dane: I love you too. Now hang up.
Jory: …
Sam: You like it when he tells you he loves you.
Jory: It used to be harder for him to say.
Sam: That’s because he has a wife who loves him day in and day out and kids who worship him. A well-loved man can express the same.
Jory: Just like you?
Sam: Just like me.
Jory: I’m a little overwhelmed at the moment.
Sam: I can tell. Give me back the laptop.
Jory: I’m really happy to hear you’ll never cheat on me.
Sam: As though that were ever in question.
Jory: And I would never cheat on you either.
Sam: Yes, I know.
Jory: How do you know? Because I would never have the opportunity?
Sam: You love my body, and you love my heart. I’m not worried.