Total pages in book: 73
Estimated words: 71843 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 359(@200wpm)___ 287(@250wpm)___ 239(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 71843 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 359(@200wpm)___ 287(@250wpm)___ 239(@300wpm)
Jory: Oh. I can’t do that. Only Sam.
Aja: We’re both actually card sharks, you just didn’t know it.
Jory: Not so much. My husband is terrible at cards. Poker is really bad. Uno is a whole other story. He’s terrifying at Uno.
Aja: Remind me never to play with him. Now about this question, am I telling her the Monopoly thing with the candy?
Jory: Or tell her how to play three-to-thirteen. Everyone has playing cards. This way she has no investment if everyone opts out.
Aja: There’s no opting out. They have to comply.
Jory: You’re saying they have to do things together no matter what?
Aja: Yes. They do. They’re kids and that’s it. Mandatory social interaction.
Jory: Okay, then. Tell her.
Aja: I’m telling her about the song too. She may want to add that in.
Jory: Fine. Share Sam’s evil.
Aja: I’m thinking if that’s as evil as it gets, he’s a keeper.
Jory: So far.
Aja: Please. Like you’d ever give away the love of your life.
Jory: Perhaps not. And you’re not allowed to cackle either.
DEAR JORY:
My daughter just turned sixteen, and that was the age we gave her that she could start dating. I’m nervous because there’s a boy who likes her but he’s eighteen. What are your thoughts on that?
Jory: That’s a tough one. Because is he eighteen and out of school, living on his mom’s couch doing nothing with his life but eating her food and watching Netflix? Or is he still in school getting ready to graduate?
Aaron: Why ever does that matter?
Jory: Because it does.
Aaron: It does not. Eighteen is too old for this woman’s sixteen-year-old angel. It’s simply not possible. She’s too young for him.
Jory: What are you doing?
Aaron: Nothing.
Jory: You were thinking about something. What was it?
Aaron: I have no idea what you’re talking about.
Jory: Really? That’s what you’re going with?
Aaron: Your room at the hospital. I could have had you moved.
Jory: My room at the hospital? It was nice and private.
Aaron: It was private, I’ll give you that.
Jory: It was bijou.
Aaron: You clearly have no idea what that word means.
Jory: You’re such a snob. How does Duncan deal with you?
Aaron: Duncan finds my snobbery charming.
Jory: Doubtful.
Aaron: The man worships me.
Jory: That I believe.
Aaron: As do I him.
Jory: Awww. You even sighed.
Aaron: May we please finish this question? Clearly, this woman cannot let her daughter date anyone older.
Jory: What if he’s really nice and respectful?
Aaron: Let me put it to you this way, would your husband allow Hannah to date someone who was eighteen?
Jory: Valid point. But Sam doesn’t really count. His rules are legion.
Aaron: True. But I think if the girl wants to be chaperoned on a date with an older boy, that’s her decision. Otherwise, she dates in groups or only with those her own age.
Jory: Okay, write that, but really, how do you enforce that?
Aaron: Surveillance via drone or the old-fashioned way…tailing your child.
Jory: You have to trust them at some point.
Aaron: Perhaps you gauge the interest. How into this boy is your daughter?
Jory: Well, when she turns seventeen, in Illinois, that’s the age of consent.
Aaron: Yes, but then, in theory, the boy will be nineteen, we assume, and it will still be illegal. I think, until she’s eighteen, she shouldn’t be allowed to date, because what’s the point?
Jory: Lots of kids don’t have sex, Aaron. Some of them just want to be friends.
Aaron: Well then, I think we’re back to a case-by-case basis.
Jory: This didn’t help at all.
Aaron: Yes, it did. The answer is no on the eighteen-year-old dating the sixteen-year-old. When she’s eighteen and he’s twenty, they can do whatever they want.
Jory: Technically, a sixteen-year-old girl is usually more mature than an eighteen-year-old boy.
Aaron: We’re not talking about maturity; we’re talking about hormones.
Jory: Fine. Just type that all up.
Aaron: You know I have people who do these things for me.
Jory: Not today.
Aaron: I don’t even remember why I came over here.
Jory: Because you love me too.
Aaron: Do I?
DEAR JORY:
How long do I have to wait to be let out of the house after a broken leg and concussion? There was even mind-blowing sex and I’m still a prisoner. Asking for a friend.
Sam: Ha-ha, very funny.
Jory: I can be let out of the house. I promise you.
Sam: Yes, but the question is, can my heart take you being out of the house?
Jory: Oh come on, you’ve been letting me out to prowl around the city for years.
Sam: Prowl around?
Jory: You know what I mean. Just—trust me.
Sam: You were hit by a car.
Jory: And I’m fine now.
Sam: Are we sure?
Jory: I thought I showed you the other night.
Sam: The suggestive eyebrow waggle is very cute, as are you in my lap, but just—give it another week, all right?
Jory: I’ll give it another day. Maybe.
Sam: It’s cold outside. And windy. And it’s supposed to snow on Friday.
Jory: This is a new year, a new decade—even though it’s starting out crappy, I’m going to have a great 2020, I just know it. So let me.