Total pages in book: 73
Estimated words: 71843 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 359(@200wpm)___ 287(@250wpm)___ 239(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 71843 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 359(@200wpm)___ 287(@250wpm)___ 239(@300wpm)
Kola: I wanted to play football like you, but they only had lacrosse and soccer, it turns out, is really not my sport.
Sam: Honey––
Kola: But that was okay, yeah? I mean, you were still proud.
Sam: You and your sister make me crazy proud every day.
Kola: Yeah, but––
Sam: And I’m not sure I would have let you play football, anyway. I wouldn’t want to do anything that could damage that fine brain of yours.
Kola: If I wash out at Stanford and don’t get to be a doctor, you’ll still––
Sam: You know better than that.
Kola: …
Sam: Yes?
Kola: Mmmmm.
Jory: You two look adorable together.
Sam: Don’t wake him up. No more questions that you know the answers to, anyway. If it’s anything about what I love the most, worry about the most, what I’m most thankful for or how would the perfect partner treat you––
Jory: That one is actually on here.
Sam: ––then you know the answer. My life is good ’cause of you guys, and can I just say that I wanna bathe in whatever you’re cooking in that kitchen.
Jory: Pot roast. Ten hours in the slow cooker.
Sam: Am I salivating?
Jory: Just keep holding your kid. He’s going to leave us soon.
Sam: …
Jory: Awww. You squeezed a little grunt out of him.
Sam: Don’t you have to go check on the pot roast?
Hannah: Something smells really—awwww. Look at you guys.
Sam: Shhhh, your brother’s sleeping.
Hannah: He never does that anymore.
Sam: He sleeps all the time.
Hannah: Yes, I know, I meant sleep on you, smart guy.
Jory: She wanted to say smartass, but she didn’t.
Sam: Because she’s wise.
Hannah: But he doesn’t lean on you much anymore. It’s adorable.
Sam: No, he doesn’t, you’re right. What is in your hand?
Hannah: I found something better to use.
Jory: I think multicolored pipe cleaners will be the same as the twist ties.
Hannah: No, these are a bribe. I think he’ll like these better and leave Garth alone. Lucy and I are going to pile them out there—well, small pile—and see what he thinks. I got metallic ones because the shinier the better. I mean, he’s a crow after all.
Sam: We’re still talking about the crow?
Hannah: Yes.
Sam: You think a crow is going to leave your scarecrow alone if you bribe him with pipe cleaners?
Hannah: He was smart enough to catapult the squirrel.
Sam: You see, I could get sucked right back into this discussion all over again.
Hannah: The scarecrow will remain headless, and what will the neighbors think?
Sam: The same thing they do now, that we’re insane.
Hannah: Oh please, our neighbors love us, except for Mrs. Latimore, and that’s because you’re much more handsome than her husband.
Sam: I’m sorry, what?
Hannah: It’s why she never let Pa be part of the Homeowners Association Board. She’s jelly. It happens. And I think she still remembers the time the women were here in the skimpy bunny costumes coloring eggs with us.
Sam: Oh God.
Hannah: Garth does look creepy out there without a head, though.
Sam: And why is he headless again?
Hannah: Well, you see, technically it’s all Loki’s fault.
Sam: No, I know. I heard the story already, and I have to say that I think you and your father need to find something else to do besides bird-watching.
Hannah: But then how would we know that he broke his leg?
Sam: Why would you help him?
Hannah: He’s the sweetest bird ever.
Sam: He is? I thought he was kind of an ass.
Hannah: No. Odin’s lovely.
Sam: I thought you were talking about Loki.
Hannah: Loki’s a hot mess, Dad. Why do you think he’s named Loki?
Sam: Of course.
Hannah: We splinted it with a popsicle stick, but we washed it first.
Sam: Because otherwise it would be sticky.
Hannah: Exactly. The avian veterinarian gave him a clean bill of health and said our splint was really good, even though he re-did it.
Sam: You two took the crow to the vet?
Hannah: We waited outside. We couldn’t go in.
Sam: Of course not.
Hannah: It’s a Disney backyard, Dad. That goes for the crows too.
Sam: No argument.
Hannah: …
Sam: Oh, thank you. Kisses from my daughter, hugs from my son. I must be doing something right.
Jory: Always.
Sam: Don’t cry.
Jory: Why would I cry?
Sam: That’s right. Why would you?
Jory: All right, well, I think we’ll have to finish these questions next time. I need to get dinner served. B, call Lucy down here, it’s her turn to help me.
Hannah: She’s talking to her dad. I’ll help you. I like helping you, anyway.
Jory: You do?
Hannah: Yeah. I kind of like you.
Jory: …
Hannah: Don’t get verklempt, just c’mon.
Jory: How do you know the word verklempt?
Hannah: Because I’m your kid.
Sam: You see, the answers to all those questions are your kids, me, your family. Our lives have meaning because of this right here, right now.
Jory: Yes, dear.
Sam: I’ll take another kiss.
That’s it, all. I promise I’ll have something more exciting next month, and I’ll let you know how home graduation goes. Have a safe and healthy rest of May, everyone.