Total pages in book: 67
Estimated words: 64727 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 324(@200wpm)___ 259(@250wpm)___ 216(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 64727 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 324(@200wpm)___ 259(@250wpm)___ 216(@300wpm)
“Uh…right.” He nodded, but didn’t break his eagle-eyed stare. “So…are you seeing someone?”
“I—um. Yeah, I am. I mean, it’s not like—we aren’t—I mean, I don’t—”
“Well, that explains a lot.” Ty laughed. “You could have just led with that, you know.”
My answering half chuckle was weak sauce. “Yeah…maybe.”
“Who? Anyone we know?”
I jiggled my keys and rolled my eyes. “Later, Ty.”
“All right. All right. Hey, did you know that Walker is interviewing your roommate?”
That stopped me. “Rafe?”
“Yeah, he mentioned it this morning. I guess Rafe is killin’ it and so is another guy on their team. I think they’re dating or something. I didn’t know Rafe had a boyfriend. Did you?”
I furrowed my brow so hard my sunglasses almost fell off my face. “Huh. Gotta go.”
My hands shook as I started the engine. I wasn’t sure if I was more upset about the fact I’d lied to my friends again or the mere mention of Rafe with Eli. Definitely the latter.
Fuck, I’d encouraged him to bend the truth, and let people believe what they wanted. They always did anyway. Truth was subjective. People manipulated it for their own gain in the name of religion and politics all the fucking time.
My truth: I had substance abuse issues and the shame came with a dose of crippling anxiety.
Also true: I liked a boy I couldn’t keep.
I thought I had a handle on both situations, but damn…I was beginning to have my doubts.
CHAPTER 19
GUS
I hadn’t thought about the “coming out” aspect of my situation.
I was going to have to tell people that I didn’t drink. Maybe not today, but…eventually. It was logical to think it wasn’t a one-time blast either. It was the first question anyone asked at a social event. What do you want to drink? I had to think there was a limit to how often you could get away with, “I’ll stick with Coke” before confusion set in.
Or maybe they’d figure it out and feel sorry for me, and I didn’t need or want sympathy.
What I really wanted was more time.
Graduation was less than two weeks away, and the lease on the house would be up in the middle of June. Real life was coming at me fast and furiously. A new job, a new apartment, same old me. Scary shit.
And I hated the idea of doing any of this without Rafe…as in, it made me sick to know I was going to lose him. But he had big dreams, and I wanted him to crush every single one of them. I wasn’t going to hold him back. No chance.
He was at the rink every damn day, putting in the work with single-minded determination. Seeing him dig deep to regain control and confidence inspired me. I couldn’t keep ignoring uncomfortable conversations or situations.
I did anyway.
Hey, I was busy. I had papers to write and a project due. In my spare time, I hung out at the rink, cheering Rafe on or doing my own drills to stay sharp. Sure, it also gave me a chance to keep an eye on Eli, the fuckin’ weasel. Nothing to see there, though. Rafe was a professional. He didn’t fool around on the ice. He saved that for me.
Thank God ’cause I couldn’t get enough of him.
I had a theory that the dwindling days on the calendar heightened physical sensation. That would explain why I couldn’t be in a room without touching Rafe or sniffing the lingering scent of cologne on his skin or—
Rafe batted me away with a chuckle, rolling to his side to face me, a serene, satisfied grin in place.
“I can still feel you.”
I squeezed his ass. “Here?”
“Mmm. Why is this so good?”
“I dunno,” I replied truthfully. “I would have thought you’d be tired of me by now.”
“Are you fishing for a compliment?” he snorted.
“Nah, I know you love my dick.”
“I do.” Rafe’s smile dimmed. He rested his head on my pillow and gnawed at his lip. “Did I tell you that Boris wants me to join a club in Syracuse? Supposedly one of the best.”
“Syracuse?” I wrinkled my nose. “What happened to Pittsburgh?”
“Nothing. I’ll be able to get into my old club if I want. Syracuse has better coaching, and it’s pricier. He might be able to help me with sponsorship. I’ll look into it.”
My heart thumped against my rib cage with something that felt like hope. Syracuse was an easy commute and—
No.
No, it didn’t matter how close it was. Rafe had to do his thing, and I had to do mine.
“That’s cool.” I lowered my eyes as I traced his pelvic bone with my thumb.
“I think so too. It’s funny because I wasn’t sure he liked me, but he clapped for me yesterday. And it wasn’t sarcastic clapping, either.”
“You deserve it. Hey…are you doing an interview with Walker? Ty mentioned it, but—”