Total pages in book: 67
Estimated words: 64727 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 324(@200wpm)___ 259(@250wpm)___ 216(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 64727 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 324(@200wpm)___ 259(@250wpm)___ 216(@300wpm)
“Your friends will understand. And they’ll support you.”
He raked his fingers through his hair and shrugged. “Yeah. Maybe. But I’m taking it one day at a time. I started talking to my therapist daily again. She wants me to go to AA meetings.”
“Will you?”
“Probably. I want to do this…for my own sake. I don’t want my parents involved. I don’t want to hear about how I’m disappointing everyone or what a relapse will do to my career path and their reputation. I get it…I’m a fuckup, but I’m the one living in this body, and I’ve got to listen to my own advice and be happy. Waking up hungover does not make me happy.”
I dropped the stones in my fist and set a hand on Gus’s hip. “What can I do?”
He quirked his chin curiously. “What do you mean?”
“How can I help? Tell me what you need.”
Gus exhaled and closed his eyes briefly. “You don’t have to do anything. You’ve already been doing it for weeks. I should have been honest, but…I feel pretty ashamed. I hate the way I treated you.”
“What? That’s silly. You’ve been perfectly nice and—”
“Dude, I spent most of this year high. Always high. I’m finally sober, and the best thing about that has been being with you.” He stepped aside, rubbing his jaw thoughtfully. “I mean it. I’ll admit that it started out with me just trying to stay busy and out of the way of danger. I didn’t care if you got a date with Eli. It was an excuse to talk about something that was harmless and outside of my normal routine. And when you went out with him, yeah…I kinda hated it, but I figured that was because I’d lose my distraction. If that sounds cold and selfish, that’s ’cause it is.”
“So you’re using me to stay sober?”
He winced. “No. I never thought of it that way, but maybe at first that was true. The thing is…I didn’t think we’d end up in bed. Me and you. I definitely didn’t plan on us being friends with benefits…if that’s what we are. Now that you know I’m a hot mess, I won’t be offended if you want to rethink our situation. I don’t want to be a complication, but I like you, Rafe. I like hanging out with you. Fuck, you make this shit feel doable. Like maybe I’m on the right path.”
“You are,” I replied, unthinking.
“Thanks.”
“I…I had no idea you were struggling, Gus. I wish I’d known. I wish there was something I could do, something I could say, or—”
“No, no. I don’t want that. The last thing I need is sympathy. I just want to be honest with you, so…I dunno, maybe your uphill climb won’t feel as lonely. Everyone carries baggage…that’s all.”
Instinctively, I slipped my hand in his and squeezed his fingers. “You’re not alone either.”
Gus’s smile was sweet and a touch vulnerable, and his kiss was tender. Gone was the earlier desperation and the manic horniness that had become our trademark.
We were quiet on the drive home, but the silence wasn’t awkward in the slightest. It felt poignant, as if we’d entered a new phase where words weren’t required. The only person I’d ever had that with was Celine. But I wasn’t attracted to Celine, and I was unprepared for the heady juxtaposition of physical desire and friendship.
We didn’t hurry. We undressed in between languid kisses and came together with a gentle push and pull, soft sighs, and deep kisses. We lay on our sides, Gus moving inside me, his left leg hooked over mine. He nudged my prostate, countering each powerful thrust with whispers of “So good, so good.”
Pleasure built slow and steady. I did my best to hold on, but I lost the battle, crying out with the force of my orgasm. Gus was right behind me, trembling with his head on my shoulder.
We didn’t budge for a few minutes, and then Gus made a crack about the wet spot I’d made on his mattress and suddenly, we were us again.
We grumbled about the right way to put a fitted sheet on a bed and whose turn it was to choose a show before settling on the sofa with our feet entwined, passing a pint of ice cream back and forth.
I liked us. I liked this new friendship. We were an odd pair for sure, but I was beginning to think we were good for each other.
At least for a little while.
CHAPTER 16
GUS
This was it. The Bears were one win away from the regional semifinals. We just had to eke out a win against Northwestern, and no, this wasn’t going to be easy.
I banged my fist on my locker to get my teammates’ attention for my pregame speech.
“I’ll keep this short and sweet. I don’t want to mess with anyone’s routine. Brady, finish putting your socks on, bro. And Benson, your tape work is killer. Give Ty a few pointers. His looks like shit.” I waited for Brady and Ty to flash the bird, and the accompanying snickers and jeers to die down before continuing. “We got this, Bears. Northwestern is tough, but we’re tougher. They’re strong, but we’re stronger. This is our rink, our home, and we fuckin’ want this for our school, our town. Let’s give it everything we got. Leave it all on the ice. Do we got this, Bears?”