Total pages in book: 80
Estimated words: 78466 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 392(@200wpm)___ 314(@250wpm)___ 262(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 78466 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 392(@200wpm)___ 314(@250wpm)___ 262(@300wpm)
Sam: I am not now, nor have ever been, a softie.
Jory: You sleep with a cat curled on the pillow next to your head and a Chihuahua on your stomach.
Sam: That’s a gross exaggeration of the facts.
Jory: I have pictures.
Sam: Why would you have pictures of that?
Jory: Because it’s cute.
Sam: Anyway…you should not make friends with people who report to you. Ever. It’s a recipe for disaster. Peers are okay. Peers are a whole other ballgame.
Jory: I don’t know any of your peers either.
Sam: Because I have none in Chicago. I only have them when I go to D.C. for conferences, or if you count the mayor or the police superintendent.
Jory: Maybe I’ll go to a conference with you next time.
Sam: The next time there’s one that lasts more than a day, you certainly may.
Jory: Really?
Sam: Yes, really.
Jory: Okay. Well. So to answer the question, no. I have not seen Miro or Ian, though I understand both of them were promoted.
Sam: …
Jory: You did promote them, didn’t you?
Sam: Not because I like them.
Jory: You like them. C’mon. Just a little.
Sam: I specifically promoted Doyle to be the guy in charge of interdepartmental and cross-jurisdictional crap so I wouldn’t have to ever do it again.
Jory: Crap? You put the man in charge of crap?
Sam: Yes. Plus, he likes to yell, and now he can.
Jory: That’s mean.
Sam: Which should forever put to bed this whole “softie” business.
Jory: I think I need to put the pictures of you and the dog up on my Facebook page.
Sam: Spouses of any personnel at a higher level than that of a deputy US marshal are not permitted to have any social media presence. End quote.
Jory: I am aware.
Sam: Well then…
Jory: You’re still a softie.
Sam: Says you.
Jory: As for Hannah, I believe she and Miro are friends on Snapchat.
Sam: They are not.
Jory: I’m pretty sure they are. Something about his new job and using alternative sources to find kids and help them… I think they’re following each other on Instagram too.
Sam: Oh God.
Jory: Get with the times, Chief Deputy.
Sam: This is why I drink.
Jory: You hardly ever drink.
Sam: This is why I’m going to start.
Jory: Yes, dear.
DEAR JORY:
How are you and your husband preparing to be empty nesters?
Jory: My son will leave me for college in a year, and I am FREAKING out. I’ll still have my daughter for two more years, but just thinking about her being away from me, being in another state, is giving me hives. I mean, how many times a day can I realistically call? And how will I know if she’s safe in her dorm or apartment? I mean, she has a black belt in Tae Kwon Do, and there are levels now that she’s moving up, so I know, logically, that she’ll be safe, but I’m still terrified thinking about—
Sam: I don’t think that’s the question.
Jory: What?
Sam: The question was about how are we going to deal with being empty nesters? Like what will we do with our time, what will happen when it’s just us?
Jory: I don’t understand the question.
Sam: Like, there’ll only be us.
Jory: Yeah.
Sam: So what will we do?
Jory: I guess I’m still not understanding.
Sam: I think some people, without their kids, they have nothing to talk about. Some people have held on in their marriages for the sake of the kids. So, like, what do you see changing? What are your plans?
Jory: Oh! Well, we can try all the restaurants that nobody wanted to go to.
Sam: Restaurants?
Jory: Like the vegan one downtown.
Sam: Vegan what?
Jory: And we can go to plays and the symphony and the opera.
Sam: Since when do you like opera?
Jory: I don’t know if I do, but I’m excited to find out.
Sam: How excited? Like on a scale of one to ten, one being never going unless you’re taken at gunpoint and ten being maybe going once for fifteen minutes—how bummed would you be if, say, you never found out what your true feelings about the opera were?
Jory: We can go to concerts in the park, lie out under the stars…it will be so romantic.
Sam: On the ground? With people around?
Jory: And we can go on mini-vacations during the year to New York and see musicals.
Sam: I—why does this sound like I’m being punished?
Jory: We can go on a cruise!
Sam: What if there’s an Ebola outbreak?
Jory: We can go skiing.
Sam: I don’t ski.
Jory: Samuel Thomas Kage, we are going to have lots of adventures together!
Sam: I agree. But vacations to places with beaches and hammocks and private cabanas. I see eating and drinking and vegging with you all day and night.
Jory: I plan to go antiquing.
Sam: Whatever you want. As long as we can stop for food and alcohol, I’m in.
Jory: We could go to Cape Cod and have lobster rolls.
Sam: Now you see, that sounds like a plan.