Total pages in book: 80
Estimated words: 78466 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 392(@200wpm)___ 314(@250wpm)___ 262(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 78466 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 392(@200wpm)___ 314(@250wpm)___ 262(@300wpm)
Jory: My daughter, on the other hand, is very good at history, language arts, creative writing, and art. She’s had challenges with math and science, and so we work hard at those and I challenge her to think about them creatively.
Sam: If she wants digital privileges, she maintains all As and Bs. She gets a C, the digital is gone until that C is back to being a B. And the Wi-Fi password changes every day, so if either of my kids wants it, I see homework AND chores done.
Jory: The marshal runs a tight ship; I inspire through privileges earned. As and Bs bring outings and cash and prizes. I’m not going to lie; money is handed out for good grades, but half of it always has to go in the college savings account.
Sam: Digital. That’s your leverage.
DEAR JORY:
This question is actually for your husband, Sam. In your job as a US marshal, do you have any subordinates that remind you of Jory?
Sam: If I had anyone that worked for me that reminded me of my husband, I would fire them immediately, as they would be much too tender-hearted to be a marshal. That being said, I do have people that remind me of my children, who need to be reminded that they cannot in fact fly and that checking in when required is in fact a rule and not a guideline. I was not put on this earth to babysit grown ass people.
DEAR JORY:
Do you and your husband ever role-play to spice things up in the bedroom?
Jory: I have a friend who thinks that if you’re trying to spice things up, it’s because you don’t really like the other person, and if you try floggers or dress-up, you probably have nothing to talk about if you’re not having sex. I don’t subscribe to that idea. I think if you want to get puppet show stuff or play cabin boy (or girl or person) and plundering pirate, you should go for it. Relationships are hard, and anything that helps you connect to your partner is a good thing.
That being said, the one and only time I ever dressed up, my husband squinted at me the entire time. The whole role-playing thing was completely lost on him. And the costume was awesome! I was a gypsy fortune-teller, and I started off by reading his palm with one hand in his lap, and I was supposed to end up with my mouth there, but the love of my life was a bit too preoccupied with the earrings and the veil and the anklet. I think I jingled too much.
Sam: You looked like my aunt Genevieve. It freaked me out.
Jory: Not hot. I guess this strays into advice, but for heaven’s sake, if you’re going to role-play, make sure the other person finds the thing alluring before you start.
Sam: My handcuffs are always hot.
Jory: It’s not role-playing if you’re still a marshal.
Sam: Why not?
Jory: I need a whole other column to explain.
DEAR JORY:
My husband cheated on me with a co-worker. She has since been transferred, and he’s assured me it was a one-time thing that happened in the heat of the moment when they were working late. I want to forgive him, but I’m just not sure I can ever trust him again. I’m not sure what to do, because my heart says one thing and my head another. Thoughts?
Jory: If the cheating was truly a one-off and you believe him and think you can trust him again, then giving the other person the benefit of the doubt is a good practice. But if you think that taking him back will turn you into a crazy person, where you will always be wondering, always be watching, looking for signs of infidelity, or if you’ll be keeping him on a chain so short that you end up stalking your own husband—then that’s not worth your self-esteem or the toll on your psyche.
Sam: Once a cheater, always a cheater.
Jory: That’s categorically untrue. Some marriages get stronger through adversity.
Sam: The power dynamic is never the same. One person can always take the moral high ground and play the “Oh yeah, well, you cheated on me” card. You’ll never be on a level playing field again. You’ll always have a weapon in your arsenal.
Jory: If you can trust again, then you don’t keep weapons.
Sam: Trust is a one-and-done thing in the area of cheating, because you’re always going to wonder why, what led the person who was supposed to be just yours, astray. I can’t imagine that not eating you up alive.
Jory: I suspect it’s an individual choice and depends on the person.
Sam: You’re either monogamous or not. End of discussion. Temptation happens, but you have to think beyond your dick and ask yourself what am I willing to give up for a quick fuck in the copy room?