Total pages in book: 80
Estimated words: 78466 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 392(@200wpm)___ 314(@250wpm)___ 262(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 78466 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 392(@200wpm)___ 314(@250wpm)___ 262(@300wpm)
“I don’t hear you typing.”
I cleared my throat. “Okay, so the first question is, if a man hit me once, what––”
“You have an email address for that question?” he asked, turning to look at me. “I can find her doing a reverse––”
“Sam, these are questions. They may or may not be real.”
“Tell her if a guy hits her once, he’ll hit her again and she needs to get the hell out of there right fuckin’ now.”
“Thank you,” I said drolly. “I would have never figured that out without you.”
“I’m just saying,” he groused at me, his focus back on the TV. “I can go put him in the hospital if she needs time to move her stuff.”
I sighed deeply before scrolling through the questions on the email I was sent. “Okay, here’s another. ‘At what age should children be allowed to date?’” I read aloud. “I’m going to say, when they both have a thorough understanding about safe sex and self-respect and––”
“Group dates in high school as long as the kids get picked up and dropped off by a parent, one-on-one dates only after your kid can drive so they can leave at any time they want to or feel uncomfortable,” Sam said like he’d been practicing the answer.
“Oh God.”
“What? Girls especially need to be able to drive. The being able to bail is important, as is some form of self-defense.”
“Sam.”
“If they want to date, they should be able to at least incapacitate three people in quick succession and be able to run.”
“So sixteen, then?”
“If they have a valid driver’s license by that time, but more importantly, dating should be based on their individual training.”
“And for boys?”
“Same.”
I groaned loudly. “Oh, here’s one. ‘What is the best way to keep the romance alive in a relationship?’”
“Write, have sex.”
“No!” I snapped at him. “Communication is the key, and spontaneous––”
“Men are simple creatures,” he said, rolling to his side, shoving a pillow under his head and patting the space beside him. “Sex will fix whatever’s wrong.”
I sighed deeply. “You know, I really need to put this into a streamlined Dear Abby format for next time, because right now I’m putting in everything,” I told him, biting my bottom lip, torn between answering more questions and instead going over to snuggle with the mass of muscle that was Sam Kage.
“What do you mean everything?”
“I’ll print the question and then the answer and it’ll be…”
“It’ll be great,” he agreed, his voice a sultry rumble. “Now c’mere.”
I had every intention of answering more, but Sam Kage was on the couch wanting to snuggle. I closed the laptop and got there as fast as I could.
AUGUST 2017
Hello, all, my name is Jory Harcourt. Welcome to my new column where I answer burning questions about me, my family, my friends, and my life while trying to offer advice, when needed, that won’t cause any bodily injury. And my husband will be offering some words of wisdom as well. So here we go:
DEAR JORY:
Would you mind if one of your kids wanted to dye their hair a crazy color?
Jory: I think that colored hair is all about individuality, and if my kids wanted unicorn hair, either one of them, that would be great. If they feel it in their heart, they should express it on their head.
Sam: If the school says no, it’s no. Don’t waste your money until you check with the school.
Jory: Also valid.
DEAR JORY:
What is the most important thing you and your husband have learned about being dads?
Jory: That you have to keep your promises. If you tell your kids you’re going to go to the park, you better go unless something happens like rain, where they can see that it wouldn’t make sense for you to go. If you say you’re going to Disneyland for a family vacation, you better make it happen. Things go sideways, and I get that, but if you make them a promise, you must move heaven and earth to see that through, even if it’s just going to see the next Avenger movie when you really just want to have a glass of wine and pass out in front of the TV. It’s vitally important to keep your promises so that they in turn see the importance of keeping theirs.
Sam: Your kids are not your friends. If you’re lucky, and you do a good job, maybe they will be someday, but in the interim, they are your children, and they need finite rules, guidance, and deadlines. Don’t back down, stand your ground. That whole thing about picking your battles is crap, every skirmish matters. You’re instilling values; make it happen.
DEAR JORY:
If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, just you and your husband, where would you go?
Jory: I love warm, tropical places, so I would love to go to the Maldives. I’m dying to see the water that’s so clear you can see straight to the bottom and stay in one of those hotels where the bedrooms are underwater so it looks like you’re in a submarine. Baking under the warm sun on a powdery white sand beach is my idea of heaven.