Total pages in book: 80
Estimated words: 78466 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 392(@200wpm)___ 314(@250wpm)___ 262(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 78466 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 392(@200wpm)___ 314(@250wpm)___ 262(@300wpm)
Sam: I suspect this is why we never go on vacation, since lying on a beach doing nothing all day sounds really boring and—
Jory: I would love to have a bedroom that opened out onto a private beach as well. When my husband and I were in Hawai’i, we had that, and it was wonderful. It’s so romantic, making love with the sounds of the waves.
Sam: I want to go to the Maldives.
DEAR JORY:
Taking the island theme a step further, what four things would you take to a desert island?
Jory: I would take my Kindle so I could read, toilet paper, sunscreen, and a lip balm.
Sam: A big box of wooden matches, like, a thousand of them, a hunting knife, a fishing net, and a hammock. Sleeping on the ground when you’re not sure what’s in the sand is not a good idea.
DEAR JORY:
How do you deal with someone who is trying to get the attention of your husband/boyfriend?
Jory: I have been in the situation before where someone I thought I knew was very flirty and overly handsy with my husband. I felt that the best thing to do was to call that person up and make a date to have coffee. Once we were sitting down out in a public place, I explained that I didn’t appreciate their overtures toward my husband and if they wanted us to remain friends, they should refrain from such behavior going forward. While I know that this can be a difficult situation, and embarrassing for both parties, the best way to deal with things is to meet the situation head-on. It’s a lot better than allowing it to escalate to your husband saying, “What the hell are you doing?” in his loudest, boomiest voice the next time it happens, because then the person is embarrassed, along with their mate, as well as you. This will also, I promise you, mortify your children, who will think the person is “gross” for hitting on their dad and that the idea of anyone even wanting your husband is also very, very “gross.”
Sam: Anyone who has the balls to hit on your mate should be ready to have their ass tossed out of your house right that second. The hell is that?
Jory: Finesse is what’s needed so people can save face in a moment of weakness or confusion.
Sam: Stabbing someone in the arm with a fork will also do it.
Oh dear God, all right, all, that’s the end of the questions for this newsletter. Until next time, be safe and I’ll talk to you soon.
SEPTEMBER 2017
Hi there, this is He Said, he said, and I’m Jory Harcourt, here to answer your questions about life and love and everything else.
DEAR JORY:
On the subject of dating, what kind of person would you like your kids to bring home?
Jory: I don’t care who my kids bring home as long as that person respects them, loves them, supports them, and can empathize with them when they’re down.
Sam: Hannah needs someone who will make sure she gets into the house when they drop her off, and Kola needs someone who gets his jokes.
Jory: Big picture, Sam, not just right now.
Sam: That is big picture. Someone who watches over her, cares for her, protects her dreams, and never lets her go to sleep crying—that’s who Hannah needs. And Kola needs someone that will bring a little chaos into his life so he can see that it’s worth it. He also needs someone to laugh out loud with him even if it makes them look like a dork.
Jory: Yes.
Sam: Why that deserved a kiss I have no idea, but I’ll take it.
DEAR JORY:
What’s the most important thing you want your kids to learn?
Jory: To do your best in all things and never stop doing so just because you don’t get credit. Sometimes it’s what you do behind the scenes, the victories you win there, that are the most important. Not everyone has to know every good deed you do.
Sam: To keep their word.
DEAR JORY:
How do you inspire your kids to get good grades?
Jory: I’ve been very fortunate that my son is highly competitive, so getting As for him is a source of pride. He’s driven to be number one, so I don’t have to pressure him in the least. That being said, he has trouble in language arts, especially with reading books and interpreting them and writing and processing that in essay form. I challenge him to tackle those subjects first, to get them out of the way, and to think hard about what he wants to say. And the words, “This sucks, I’m just going to go herd sheep in Mongolia,” have no place at the kitchen table. I remind him of his goals and the skills he’ll need to get there.
Sam: If he wants to keep playing lacrosse, grades stay up. Period.