Total pages in book: 67
Estimated words: 64727 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 324(@200wpm)___ 259(@250wpm)___ 216(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 64727 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 324(@200wpm)___ 259(@250wpm)___ 216(@300wpm)
“Maybe I should.”
“Really?” Brady scrunched his nose as he stood, rounding on the island and opening cupboards as if he lived there. “Seems smarter to just try to be happy. Hey, where are those potato chips?”
I happily rescued the bag of Lay’s and latched on to a chance to change the topic. Summer plans, the Czerniaks’ cabin, Brady’s date with a girl who gave married-with-kids vibes. We laughed the way we had in a locker room or pressed together with a bunch of teammates at a booth at the Depot.
I loved these guys, and it was a relief to share secrets that had been weighing on me for months. I felt lighter and oddly hopeful, though I wasn’t sure why.
Nothing had changed. I was still me, a messy work in progress with battle scars and a hole in my heart that showed no signs of healing.
CHAPTER 24
RAFE
The drive home with Celine had been a blur of monotonous interstates, Taylor Swift and Charli xcx marathons, my friend’s endless chatter about a guy she’d met online, Jackson’s chances at making it as a baker, and movies she liked. I’d never had to worry about awkward silences with Celine. Thank God.
My mind had been stuck on replay at the lake. I would give anything to be with you. Anything.
Then why had we said good-bye? Why did it have to be so final?
Celine had interrupted my turbulent thoughts an hour away from our destination. “Rafey, you’re quiet. The caffeine should have kicked in hours ago, and we’re already in Grove City.”
“Mmhmm.”
“What is it? I thought you’d be celebrating.”
I’d frowned. “Why?”
“Honey, you’ve been looking forward to moving since last summer. You’re free! You graduated, got a coveted spot at the championships, you have a club, and—which one did you choose? One more time for the people in the back row!”
“Syracuse,” I’d replied, wincing at Celine’s shrill squeal.
That was another thing. Central Club in Syracuse was a fantastic opportunity. My fees had been waived or paid for by the sponsorship that Boris had lined up for me and it was less than an hour’s drive to Smithton. There was a way to make us work, and yet…Gus had still let go.
Then again, I hadn’t told him about my decision to train in Syracuse.
“So amazing! So…” I’d mentally put Celine on mute and concentrated on the road, screeching back to reality when she asked, “Is this about Eli?”
“Eli? What about him?”
“You’ve got the suds. If you’re sad that he turned out to be a dick, don’t be. He wanted to steal your shine and your place on the roster, and he didn’t get either. In short, Eli wishes he was you.”
On a normal day, I’d laugh at the very idea, but Eli was someone I’d happily left behind. At least for now. I had no doubt we’d compete in the future, but I hadn’t been able to muster anything more than a vague, “Oh.”
“Okay, that’s not it,” she’d muttered. “Pull the car over.”
“What?”
“You heard me. Something is wrong, and we’re not continuing till you tell all,” she’d demanded.
Yes, I’d been the one behind the wheel. I didn’t have to listen to my pint-sized bossy bestie, but I did. I’d pulled off the interstate, into a McDonald’s parking lot…and promptly burst into tears.
If Celine had been surprised, she hid it well. She was a good friend. The best. She’d hugged me, let me blubber away, bought me french fries and a Diet Coke, and sat with me in the aftermath of what we’d forever refer to as the McD’s Meltdown where I spilled the beans and confessed that I had very strong feelings for my former roommate.
“You know, Rafe. I think he’s afraid.”
“So am I.”
“I know, but you’re used to adversity,” Celine replied. “You’ve been knocked out and forced to reinvent yourself more than once. Not everyone is as strong as you. Give him time. I bet you he’ll come around.”
I didn’t bother explaining that there had been a heartbreaking ring of finality to our good-bye. Gus needed a new start, and I wasn’t going to be part of it.
I spent a few days visiting my parents, who now lived on opposite ends of the city. Dad rented a small house a block from his shop, and Mom had an apartment in the arts district. I stored the boxes that represented all my earthly belongings in Mom’s spare room and Dad’s garage. For most of the summer, I’d be in nomad mode, living out of a suitcase.
There wasn’t time to get comfortable, and that was okay by me. The busier I stayed, the less I’d think about what I was missing…who I was missing. Theoretically, anyway.
I headed to Syracuse at the end of June with a duffel for clothes, a workout bag, and my skates. My dad had tuned up my car, so I wasn’t quite as nervous about the ominous ka plunk noise that shook the old beater at random intervals. I just needed to check into my Airbnb and get to the rink to meet up with Boris so I could resume training in earnest.