Total pages in book: 97
Estimated words: 94624 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 473(@200wpm)___ 378(@250wpm)___ 315(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 94624 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 473(@200wpm)___ 378(@250wpm)___ 315(@300wpm)
“Pa,” Kola scolded me, gesturing at Sam. “He would never.”
“Your father would be a hot commodity,” I assured him.
“Eww,” Kola groaned.
“That’s flattering,” Sam replied drolly.
“I just mean––”
“If he dies and I remarry, all of your father’s assets go immediately to you and Hannah, and the house would go to you two as well.”
“Meaning what?” Kola asked me.
“Meaning I don’t want some bimbo living in my house,” I told him.
“That doesn’t seem––”
“I have the same clause in mine,” Sam told him. “No hot young guy in this house using my grill, sleeping in––oh, see, I’m getting upset again.”
“Don’t look at me like that,” I warned him. “Heaven forbid I lose you. I will spend the rest of my life mourning.”
“No,” Sam groaned. “That’s not what I want. I love you. I want you to fall in love––no, wait. That’s not true either. I don’t want you to be miserable, but is celibacy for the rest of your life too much to ask?”
I chuckled.
He crossed his arms. “I mean, technically, I won’t be here to see you, but what if I can? What if I’m a ghost and I see some guy in my house––”
“It won’t be your house,” Kola reminded him.
“Oh please, you expect me to believe that you and your sister are throwing your father out of his house?”
“If he gets married again, I will,” he promised, and then turned to me. “Same for you, Pa.”
“Such a good boy,” I praised him.
“You’re both really twisted, do you know that?”
“I simply don’t want some new gorgeous man taking a bath in my tub, getting out and then seducing your father in our bedroom.”
“I still have to eat, and you’re gonna make me sick,” Sam grumbled.
“The thought of having sex with someone else makes you sick?”
“Yes, all right? Yes,” he snapped at me.
I rushed over and flung myself at him, squeezing tight.
“You’re a smart man,” Sam muttered under his breath before he kissed my forehead and then hugged me back. “It can only be you.”
“Same for me,” I murmured, and then kissed under his jaw. “Now Hannah?”
“Oh, well, Hannah met one of my new marshals tonight, and she was just catching me up to speed.”
“Good meeting or bad?”
“The circumstances were crappy—and I’ll tell you about those later—but the meeting was good.”
“Excellent,” I said, and then slid out of his arms. “Okay, you guys have a good chat. Kola, remember to take the lasagna out of the oven.”
“I will,” he said, grinning at me.
“What?”
“I just got really lucky to have the two of you. I totally won the parent lottery.”
“Keep thinking that when you have to go through my miniature house collection when I’m dead.”
“I’m sorry, your what? Miniature horse?”
“House,” Sam corrected him. “They add whimsy.”
I nodded, smiling.
“Why aren’t they out?”
“They’re out,” I told him. “There’s several in every room.”
“What?”
“If you look around, you’ll start to see them,” Sam informed him. “I think the biggest one is, like, two and a half inches tall and, like, a little over two inches wide.”
“Oh, so they’re really small.”
“What part of miniature did he miss?” Sam asked me.
“Don’t be spicy, it doesn’t suit you,” I stated.
“These are just all over?” Kola seemed amazed over this development.
“Call your sister, put her on speaker.”
So he did, and we all followed Sam into the kitchen because his stomach growled, and it was loud.
“Yes?” Hannah asked breathlessly.
“Why are you out of breath?”
“Because I’m running on the treadmill at the gym and not for some pervy reason, you perv, so what do you want?”
“Did you know that Pa collects miniature horses?”
“Houses,” she corrected him.
“Why do I keep saying horses?”
“Because most people probably collect those, not houses,” she assured him. “And yes, of course, you look at the yellow one by the key bowl every time you pass the little area where the flashlights are and the fire extinguisher, which I think might be empty from the time Jake set the little grill on fire. Don’t tell Dad.”
“Jake’s the reason my little Hibachi grill is gone?”
“You could have told me you had me on speaker,” she snapped at him.
“I didn’t even––”
“But yes, there are many houses. Go look at the one by the bowl, and suddenly you’ll see them all over. That little white one with the black roof and white chimney has lived in the bathroom upstairs since we moved in.”
“Oh, that?”
“Yes, that.”
“How many are in the house?”
“I dunno, I’ll say, fifty? Seventy? Pa? How many?”
“At last count, eighty-two.”
“Really? I would think there would be more by now,” Sam commented between bites of his sandwich. “This is really good, by the way.”
“What’re you eating?” Hannah wanted to know.
“Meatloaf sandwich with those chips I like and potato salad.”
“Oh, yummy, I want that. Except not the chips, because they taste like—wait. I thought those gave you heartburn.”
“I have pills for heartburn.”
“No, that’s not good. You should avoid things that––”