Total pages in book: 80
Estimated words: 78466 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 392(@200wpm)___ 314(@250wpm)___ 262(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 78466 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 392(@200wpm)___ 314(@250wpm)___ 262(@300wpm)
Trip was right behind me, I could hear him, and when I was a bit away from the entrance, I rounded on him.
“Who is that?”
“It’s none of your business,” he said coldly.
I cleared my throat. “How old is he?”
“Again that’s––”
“I’m married to a member of law enforcement,” I informed him. “You need to answer me right now.”
“He’s nineteen, Jory, I swear to God.”
I nodded.
“We have an arrangement,” he explained. “Not that I owe you anything here, but just so you know, we met at a private party, and I provide him with an apartment, money—he’s very well taken care of.”
I had a billion questions that I swallowed down. “Okay,” I said, and turned to go.
He grabbed my bicep. “You don’t get to judge me.”
“I’m not,” I lied. “Well, no, I am. But not completely.”
He crossed his arms, staring at me.
“Does he go to school?”
“He does. That’s something else I pay for.”
I nodded. “And does your wife know?”
“No.”
“And your kids?”
“God no,” he gasped, and the way his face scrunched up made me sad. “I have a son who’s the same age as Griffin. Do you think he’d ever understand?”
I took a breath. “I remember you saying years ago that someday, when there was someone special enough, that you would tell your family.”
“Jesus, your memory,” he said, like it hurt.
“Was there never anyone you were crazy enough about?”
He carded his fingers through his hair. “It was school, and then residency, and then the politics of getting the perfect job in the perfect hospital, and things just…got away from me. I played the game really well, and everyone had certain expectations of me, and I thrived on meeting those and blowing past them.”
“And so, a wife and children,” I said softly. “That had to fit too.”
“Yes.”
“Medicine is that closed-minded? Even now?”
He crossed his arms as he stared at me. “Now, I don’t know. Then? Probably. I just couldn’t take a chance with my dream.”
“And you wanted kids.”
“Yes. I’ve always wanted to be a father, and I’m a really good one.”
Except for the part where he was cheating on the mother of his children.
“When a hospital decides to have you or not, your ties to the community, to a family—the roots you put down really mean a lot.”
I stayed quiet.
“They want to know that you’re going to be a long-term member of their family.”
“That makes sense.”
“I couldn’t have a fight on my hands with my career and my family and… It was just too much. Everyone had a vision of me, for me, an idea, and like I said, I made sure I was perfect.”
“I mean, I’m not naïve,” I assured him. “I get that some people wouldn’t agree that having a husband was perfect, and that maybe some patients, when they learned that you were gay, or bi, wouldn’t want you to be their doctor. But to me, that seems like a lot to give up.”
“Yes, but, and pardon me for saying this, you didn’t have anything. You didn’t have an important family name or standing in the community. For me, there was more to lose than there was to gain.”
I nodded.
“I had my whole life, you know? The best schools, the best people, contacts, clubs, all of it. Everything all laid out on a silver platter.”
I cleared my throat. “He’s not the first kept boy, right?”
He didn’t answer.
“I don’t have it in me to live two totally separate lives.”
“That sounds like a judgment.”
“No,” I said quickly. “I’m just not capable. I have enough trouble with one.”
He smiled then, and we both took a breath.
“May I ask where your family is now?”
“I had to stay behind because I had some surgeries planned,” he explained. “I do this every year. I join them on Christmas Eve, spend time, stay through New Year’s Eve, and leave on New Year’s Day to get back here so I can be with—this year, Griffin.”
“And you’re happy?”
He looked resigned and gave me a wistful smile. “It works well, and everyone signs an ironclad NDA. I have a lot of free time, and my wife has more charity work than you would think possible. We each have our outside pursuits.”
“Sure.”
“The one thing I do miss is friends to do things with, so when I saw you with your son,” he said quickly and then cleared his throat. “I’m so sorry.”
I nodded.
“In my defense,” he whispered, “he’s very handsome, and he looks nothing like you.”
Instead of hitting him, I clenched my fists. And it was stupid, he wasn’t hitting on Kola, but that he had looked at my baby and seen anything but a child made me want to pummel him into goo. I was sure that lots of men, and women, would see my son out in the world and evaluate him as a potential partner, or simply stop and stare and want him. That was going to happen, and probably did already, but I didn’t have to know about it until he brought home someone he loved to meet me and Sam.