Total pages in book: 80
Estimated words: 78466 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 392(@200wpm)___ 314(@250wpm)___ 262(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 78466 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 392(@200wpm)___ 314(@250wpm)___ 262(@300wpm)
From where I was, I could see under the deck, and I was surprised to see a beaver.
“Holy shit,” I yelled, because it was freaky. I mean, who expects to see a beaver? But then as I looked at it more closely, I thought, that can’t be a beaver, it doesn’t have the platypus tail. So because I’m not an encyclopedia of rodents, I had no idea what else it could be.
The thing was, it was under the deck, and now I’d come crashing down into its area and it probably felt threatened. I would have if I was a…wombat? And I was on the ground, winded, caught by the stairs, and it rushed me. And I understood because my face was basically barring it’s exit, but it charged me and I rolled left, arms around my face like I think you’re supposed to do if certain kinds of bears attack you—not all, let’s be clear, I think you’re just supposed to run from some of them—and I was scared because I didn’t want to get bitten. I have no idea what carries rabies and what doesn’t, other than possums. Hannah did a report in third grade on them, and that was all I remembered.
Anyway, I was hoping it would just run by me, but all of a sudden there was this bloodcurdling snarling and five pounds of fury came flying past my head toward the…capybara…and I tried to grab my dog but he was moving too fast and he chased it out into the yard.
Lifting up on my elbows, I watched as the animal flew up our cypress tree, and Dobby was there, at the base, hopping up and down, growling and yipping, doing a very good impersonation of a hellhound.
“You saved me, you little shit,” I called over to my Chihuahua.
He turned, looked at me, and I swear he squinted like of course he’d protect me, and then went back to making sure whatever it was stayed treed. Slowly, carefully, I extracted my lower leg and ankle, and frankly, I was surprised that nothing was broken. But when I tried to put some weight on it, the pain that shot up my leg took my breath away. I might have whimpered just a bit.
“Jory?”
I was never so happy to see Aaron Sutter in my life. He was there, at the gate on the side of the house that led into the backyard from the driveway, looking at me like I was a bug or something weird.
“The hell did you do?” he asked as he came in, followed closely by his husband, Duncan.
“I tripped on the hose, and my foot went through the step, and I was attacked by a…muskrat maybe, and Dobby chased it up the tree.”
Duncan went to look as Aaron helped me sit up, and I realized even though it hurt, I could move my toes and the ankle. I was pretty sure it wasn’t broken, maybe just sprained.
“This is a groundhog,” Duncan yelled over to me before starting back. “Lemme get my gun outta the car and I’ll––”
“What? No,” I snapped at him. “No death to small woodland creatures, I have a Disney backyard.”
He stopped walking and stared at me. “I’m sorry, what?”
“You have a what backyard?” Aaron asked, sounding just as pained as Duncan.
I sighed deeply. “I have micro bunnies and a ton of birds and lots of chipmunks. They all live in harmony in some part of the yard, and Dobby doesn’t bother them anymore ’cause I trained him, so…we can’t have blood on the preserve that is the Kage sanctuary.”
He looked at Aaron, who only shrugged. “Why do you think I’m married to you and not him? He’s ridiculous.”
“This isn’t Bambi,” I said implacably. “Nothing dies.”
Duncan groaned and told Aaron to call someone.
I sat on the steps as the billionaire called around to find someone who would remove a groundhog, which is the same thing as a woodchuck—I had no idea—on a federal holiday.
Duncan was on the phone with Sam when he came out of my house with an Ace bandage.
“He’s fine,” Duncan said as he gently but firmly wrapped my ankle. “He just took a header off the steps, and I think he sprained it.” He listened for a moment. “No, he’s not. But apparently, he was attacked by a groundhog and he won’t let me kill it.”
I was going to say something.
“That’s what he said. What the hell is a Disney backyard?”
I had to smile, because apparently the love of my life actually listened to me when I told him all manner of things.
Duncan passed me the phone as he continued wrapping my ankle.
“Are you all right?” Sam asked me.
“Yeah, I just feel dumb.”
“Well, we’re on our way home, because it turns out Aja called and asked me if the kids needed any books for school because she had to go for her kids and was picking up everything with her educator discount.”