Total pages in book: 80
Estimated words: 78466 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 392(@200wpm)___ 314(@250wpm)___ 262(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 78466 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 392(@200wpm)___ 314(@250wpm)___ 262(@300wpm)
She started giggling. “And?”
“And they can go undercover at a vampire fashion shoot at the Mayo Clinic.”
“Ohmygod.”
“You can call that one, Hold the Mayo.”
She was punchy as she started to laugh harder.
“And the next one could be Love in Vein, and then Open a Vein, and finally the bodybuilding gym drama, Veiny Arms.”
Face down on the table, she was howling and Kola was laughing too. I knew it was the relief of their father being fine, because both of them had been very scared, Hannah visibly in tears, Kola, quietly, as he was far more reserved. It was good to see them both happy at the same time, because with the ups and downs of parenthood, I, like most parents, like Sam, was only ever as happy as my saddest child. It was nice that in that moment we were all safe and happy. And I got to go home and make love to my husband. As Valentine’s Day went, I really couldn’t complain.
MARCH 2018
Hello, all, welcome back to my regular column. Last month’s reminiscing about my Valentine’s Day has brought a welcome deluge of correspondence, so without further ado, here we go.
DEAR JORY:
How do you help your kids deal with tragedy when it hits so close to home, like your husband getting shot?
Jory: For me the most important thing is for the kids to know that they can ask questions. They can ask why something happened, they can ask me how I feel about it, and they can ask hard questions like, if my father could die, why doesn’t he do something else.
Sam: I think that’s your question, not theirs.
Jory: It’s important that they know that anything that pops into their brain—
Sam: Are you ignoring me?
Jory: —will be answered as truthfully and—
Sam: Kids need to know about precautions but also about real work jobs—just like their fathers do apparently—and that yes, they can come to you with questions.
Jory: Also, after a tragedy, family counseling may be in order.
Sam: What?
Jory: And it’s important that everyone be open to sharing. Communication, as I’ve said, is key.
Sam: Crap.
DEAR JORY:
Do you ever resent your husband for having a dangerous job, and if so, how do you deal with that with your kids?
Sam: Oh, this oughta be good.
Jory: Just like someone in the military and any other law enforcement position, I worry about my husband. Military husbands and wives, all spouses of people who do scary things, from firemen to political figures, from teachers to bartenders to long-haul truckers, all have the capacity to be hurt on the job. Crazy situations and people happen to us, but we cannot be held hostage by our fear because we also have to help one another every single day. So I try to teach my kids to be brave and stand up but to also be careful and smart. Simple things I remember my grandmother telling me years ago, to just be watchful and try hard not to put myself into bad situations. I tell my kids the same thing, but tell them that because your father has to put himself in harm’s way, that when he is with us, we must always make sure he knows what he means to us. And so we do.
Sam: Crap again.
Jory: Do you know that you’re loved?
Sam: Of course.
Jory: Are you sure? You don’t sound so sure.
Sam: Oh for crissakes, I’m sure.
Jory: No need to yell.
DEAR JORY:
What’s one of the best things your husband has ever done for you and your kids?
Jory: After we watched Twilight—I know, don’t start. My son spent the entire movie waiting for it to become a vampire movie, but I don’t care. I liked the first one, I haven’t seen the others. Not the point. What is the point is halfway through the movie, the love of my life stopped it, had us all go into the kitchen with him, and wrote up a contract that if any of us ever got bitten by a vampire, we’d all make each other one so we’d always be together. We signed it in grape juice. It was very sweet.
Sam: I don’t remember that at all.
Jory: Uh-huh.
DEAR JORY:
What do you and your husband like to do together? What are your hobbies?
Jory: We—
Sam: Sex. We like to have sex.
Jory: Sam!
Sam: What?
Jory: We like to fish.
Sam: Liar! You hate fishing!
Jory: I do not.
Sam: Ohmygod you hate it so much! The last time we went you said you were sure that fishing was something you had to do in hell as punishment. You hate absolutely everything about it. Mostly, it’s way too quiet for you.
Jory: We like to take walks after dinner together, and he holds my hand and tells me about his day. I love that.
Sam: We have also started working on our backyard, and I have to say that it’s looking kind of nice back there. Who knew I could grow hydrangeas? And peonies?