Total pages in book: 74
Estimated words: 70928 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 355(@200wpm)___ 284(@250wpm)___ 236(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 70928 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 355(@200wpm)___ 284(@250wpm)___ 236(@300wpm)
She throws her arms around my neck again and admits, “I thought you would be disappointed in me.”
“Never.” I pepper her hair with kisses. “I want to protect you and make life as easy as possible for you.” Staring deep into her eyes, I hope I reach her soul, as I say, “You’ve always struggled with anxiety, and not once have I brought it up. I learned how to help you through your panic attacks, and I’ll learn everything about the phobia so I can avoid making things more difficult for you. I will adapt to you, Sienna, because your peace of mind and happiness are the most important things to me.”
It would fucking kill me, but I think I would even forgive her if she cheated on me. There’s nothing Sienna could do that would make me stop loving her.
“We’ll find a way to make things better for you,” I promise.
When she keeps staring at me, looking very exhausted, I rise to my feet and pull the covers back. “Get in bed, baby. You need to rest and let the medication do its work.”
She listens, and once she’s lying down, I take off her shoes before removing my boots. When I get comfortable beside her, she scoots closer. She’s so fragile and small in this moment, it makes my protective side morph into a powerful force that will obliterate anything and everyone who dares to hurt her.
“I love you,” I murmur lovingly as I engulf her with my body. “I love all of you.”
She clings to me like I’m all that’s anchoring her to reality. As if she fears loosening her grip for even a second would cause her mind to fracture beyond repair, and she will be lost to the terror she’s been fighting so hard.
“My brave, princess.” My lips brush against her hair, and I inhale her calming scent. “I’ll help you fight your fears.”
“How? You can’t stop being the capo dei capi.” Her words are muffled against my chest.
“No, I can’t, but I could wear a body cam so that you can see me every second of every day.”
Sienna’s head snaps back, shock flitting over her beautiful face. “You’d do that for me?”
The corner of my mouth lifts. “In case you haven’t noticed yet, I would do anything for you. I’ll check in with you constantly. I’ll wear a bulletproof vest.”
“I like the body cam idea.”
A new worry forms in my heart. “Will you be okay seeing me kill people?”
“As long as you’re not the one dying, I can handle anything.”
Staring at her, it sinks in just how much Sienna loves me. A few hours of thinking I was dead, shattered her, leaving fractures so deep she has to live with them for the rest of her life.
“I wish I’d known sooner. I hate that you had to deal with this phobia on your own for so many years.”
“I didn’t want you to lose respect for me,” she admits.
“That will never happen.” I press my forehead to hers. “No more secrets. Okay?”
When she nods, I notice how sleepy she’s getting.
“Take a nap, baby. I’ll be here when you wake up.”
I watch as she drifts off, thankful that I finally know what she’s been hiding from me.
I want to go with her to the psychiatrist so I can learn everything about this phobia, and come hell or high water, I’ll find ways to help Sienna.
I want to stop being the cause of her fear and give her the same peace she gives me.
Chapter 22
Sienna
Waking up, my mind feels worn, like gum that’s been chewed for too long.
Slowly, I become aware of Christiano’s arms locked around me and his weight as he lies partially on top of me.
I’m depleted from the mental toll it took on me to admit the truth to him, but having him here gives me a sense of safety.
He didn’t turn his back on me. Instead, he comforted me and assured me of how much he loves me.
My arms are heavy as I pull them free from where they’re pinned between us.
“Feeling better after the nap?” Christiano asks, his tone unbelievably tender.
My lips part, and not quite able to talk yet, I nod sluggishly.
He lifts his head, his eyes searching my face. “Are you still drowsy from the medication?”
I nod again while I fumble to place my hand against his neck.
“Take it easy,” he murmurs. “I had Nico get us a light lunch.” He pulls away from me, and as he gets up, he orders, “Stay in bed. I’ll be right back.”
While he’s gone, I fight the haze, and by the time I pull myself up into a sitting position, Christiano comes back with a fork and a salad the size of Manhattan.
“I got your favorite,” he says as he sits down, facing me.
The corner of his mouth lifts as he spears some chicken and avocado, and when he brings the fork to my mouth, he says, “Open up.”