Total pages in book: 74
Estimated words: 70928 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 355(@200wpm)___ 284(@250wpm)___ 236(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 70928 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 355(@200wpm)___ 284(@250wpm)___ 236(@300wpm)
He opens the back door, and noticing the ring on my finger, he says, “Congratulations.”
“Thank you,” I give him a bright smile, but the second I climb into the back seat, it falls from my face.
There might not be enough medication in this world to help me keep up this act.
Christiano slides in beside me, then mutters, “Don’t overdo it.”
I give him the same bright smile. “This is as good as it gets. Deal with it.”
He pins me to the spot with a dangerous look that sends shivers down my spine, then he growls, “I will fuck this attitude out of you right here and now. Don’t push me, Sienna.”
“Please don’t push him,” Nico begs from the front seat. “That is something I really don’t want to see.”
Crossing my arms over my chest, I slump back against the seat and turn my head away from the most stubborn man I’ve ever met.
Nico starts the engine, and while he drives to my parents’ place, I begin to worry about how I’m going to break the news to them.
They know everything about my illness and the fear I struggle with on a daily basis. They’re not going to believe a single word Christiano tells them.
Dad will get suspicious, and he’ll question Christiano.
My imagination runs away with me, and a scene of Dad and Christiano fighting plays out in my mind. When I picture them pulling out their guns and shooting each other, my entire body jerks violently.
“Sienna?”
My head swivels, and as breaths burst over my lips, my voice is filled with fear and urgency. “My dad’s going to see right through the lie, and all hell’s going to break loose, and you’re going to kill each other, and–”
Christiano grabs hold of me and hugs me so tightly that, for a brief moment, I believe he’s the only thing keeping me from completely losing my mind.
“None of that’s going to happen,” he says, his tone reassuring and comforting. “There is no lie for him to see through.” His hand brushes over the back of my head before he begins to squeeze my arms, and like it’s done since I was a toddler, it begins to calm me down. When my breathing slows, Christiano locks eyes with me. “I love you, and you love me. That’s the truth I’m telling him.”
My expression turns pleading, and even though I know his mind is made up, I say, “It doesn’t matter how we feel about each other. They know I don’t want to marry you.”
“Then you’ll tell them you’ve changed your mind.”
God!!! He doesn’t understand because he knows nothing about the mental illness. I won’t survive having to watch him go to work every day, knowing he can be killed at any time.
The thanatophobia I suffer from will only get worse and worse.
I pull away from him and slump against the seat again.
I desperately try to come up with something believable to tell my parents. Over the past three months, they’ve been so busy with Augusto and Yuki I’ve managed to put a lot of distance between us.
Would they fall for it if I lie and tell them I’ve been secretly seeing Christiano and fallen in love with him all over again?
Probably.
But there’s no way they’ll believe my fear has magically disappeared.
What else can I say?
Shit.
Christiano’s hand covers both of mine, and when he squeezes hard, I realize I’m twisting my fingers together.
“I’ll handle everything,” he says. “You just have to do a convincing job of looking happy.”
I glance at him again and see the pain I’m still causing him pooling in his eyes.
It’s just for one day.
Tonight, when I’m alone, I can fall apart, but for the next few hours, I’m going to try my best to put my issues aside.
As I exhale a deep breath, I allow my love for Christiano to resurface, and turning my right hand, I weave my fingers with his.
Maybe I can find little pockets of happiness with him between all the fear. When he learns the truth, at least I’ll have some good memories to relive when I lose him.
I lean into him, and as I reach for his jaw with my left hand, he lowers his head, and the moment our mouths meet, the relentless worry eases a little.
Christiano keeps the kiss tender instead of letting it spiral into a heated frenzy, and when he pulls back, his eyes search mine. “What was that for?”
“It’s me waving a white flag for today.”
The corner of his mouth lifts. “I’ll take it.”
When Nico steers the SUV up the driveway of my family home, I suck in a deep breath and send up a silent prayer.
I should’ve sent Mom a text to warn her, but as Nico opens the back door, and I climb out, it’s way too late.
Christiano’s phone rings. “Give me a second.”