Total pages in book: 74
Estimated words: 70928 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 355(@200wpm)___ 284(@250wpm)___ 236(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 70928 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 355(@200wpm)___ 284(@250wpm)___ 236(@300wpm)
I have to convince Christiano somehow that I don’t love him.
For the sake of my sanity.
Now that I know what my tells are, I lift my chin again, and this time I keep eye contact with him. By the grace of God, my voice sounds sure and even as I say, “We were way too young when you proposed, and even though I was unsure of my feelings for you, I said yes because I’m a people pleaser. Truth is, you’re too young for me, Christiano. You’ve also let the power go straight to your head, which is something I find very unattractive. I will never love a man like you.” I pray to all that’s holy, I’m pulling the act off and my lies sound believable. “I thought placing the blame on me would be a kind thing to do, considering our families’ history, but seeing as you’re giving me no choice, I’ll stop with the bullshit.” His expression remains the same, and I can’t tell if I’m getting through to him. “You will never be the kind of man I want. I need someone sensitive and kind, which are two things you aren’t.” Taking a step backward, I have to focus hard to keep my eyes locked with his. “I feel it will be better for both of us if we also stop being friends as well.”
When I’m done talking, Christiano stares at me for several long, unnerving minutes, which makes the little bit of courage I got from God-knows-where vanish like mist before the scorching inferno that’s the sun.
Please. I can’t keep up the act for much longer.
He takes a deep breath and exhales slowly, then the corner of his mouth lifts in a very disturbing smile. “Ohhhh, princess…” Once again, he closes the distance between us in two strides, then his hand shoots up and grips hold of my jaw, forcing me to tilt my head back. “Want to know why I’m so certain you love me?”
I can only shake my head, which Christiano ignores. He leans down until I feel his breath on my lips, causing a tremble to move through me while tingles spread over my skin.
“It’s in your eyes,” he whispers, his tone rough and knowing. “You look at me as if you would die if I vanished from your life.”
Jesus, the fact that he can see it in my eyes makes panic flare through me again.
Does he know I’m losing my mind? Has he watched me and found out about my psychiatrist? Maybe Rosie hacked into my medical records and learned about the medication I’m taking?
No. She wouldn’t invade my privacy like that. Not even for him.
A reckless urge to admit everything strikes hard. If he realizes how weak and broken I am, he’ll walk away.
Pride shatters the thought before it can take root. I won’t survive the look in his eyes if he sees me as the fragile, pathetic mess that I am, someone who’s not worth the fight.
My thoughts spiral and collide, crushing my chest as my anxiety spikes. I battle myself once again, caught between the love I feel for this man and the terror of losing him forever.
Christiano’s lips brush against mine as he inhales my scent, and it brings all my attention back to him as he continues saying, “And you don’t kiss a man you despise the way you kissed me.”
The moment is way too intense for me to handle, and before I can stop myself, I grab hold of his sides, gripping him like he’s the only thing keeping me upright.
Christiano has always had power over me. He is the only man capable of making my body come alive while flooding me with so much desire that it strips me of all control. No matter how hard I’ve pushed him away, the pull has never faded. If anything, today has made one thing brutally clear, and it’s that the attraction between us has increased dramatically.
The knowledge settles in my chest like a death sentence, and feeling defeated, I close my eyes.
His arms wrap around me, gently holding me to his chest. Slowly, the tension drains from the air, and when Christiano presses a gentle kiss to my lips, a lump forms in my throat.
It takes strength I didn’t know I possessed to keep the tears from breaking free.
He presses another tender kiss to my mouth, then pulling away completely, he says, “I know you need time to process things, so I’ll give you a few weeks to think about everything I said while I deal with the Irish.”
It’s not a win, but it’s something I can work with.
Christiano’s eyes finally soften, but it makes the meager grip I have on my emotions slip. When my chin begins to tremble, his expression tightens with the heartache I’m putting him through.