Total pages in book: 85
Estimated words: 82415 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 412(@200wpm)___ 330(@250wpm)___ 275(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 82415 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 412(@200wpm)___ 330(@250wpm)___ 275(@300wpm)
“You can hang in here while Brad and Luke are going at it,” he offers.
“Nah. I was gonna head to the common area and think this over. Obviously, you’ve given me even more to think about.”
“Fair enough.”
He pulls his hand away from my arm, and I immediately feel the absence of his comforting touch. “I’ll…text you or see you…or…”
“I get it.”
I grab my bag and head down to the common area. A few guys are watching a movie, so I just relax in a booth near the window, gazing out over the campus. The guys on the sofa in front of the TV are laughing and goofing off, and it reminds me of when Nick and I were kids and we’d stay up watching scary movies. Sometimes it feels like any damn thing can remind me of him.
Which of course takes me back to that day when we first realized he wasn’t home.
My unanswered texts that quickly stacked up in my phone.
The panic.
The fear that only grew worse over the next few days.
What happened to you that night, Nick?
Tears rush to my eyes because as much as I want to know, whatever happened can never give us back what was stolen from us.
All this time.
I bat at my eyes. What a wild emotional roller coaster tonight has been. Yet unlike the past few nights, there’s a calm within me. I don’t feel as anxious as I did earlier in the week, or even tonight. Matteo can’t know what he did for me, not just by making that offer, but by making me feel less alone.
“I’ll protect you. Your privacy. Your body.”
I’ve only known him for a short span of time, but I don’t doubt any of it.
My phone buzzes, and I rush to check it.
Preston: Sorry, man.
I expect frustration or anger, like the past few times he’s told me no, but this time, there’s relief. Because now I know what I must do.
But can I really ask this of Matteo?
8
MATTEO
It’s Friday.
Tonight, I should be strutting in a sexy costume, grabbing a couple of condoms, and heading over to Alpha Alpha Mu’s party to find a girl who’s as eager to have fun as I am. Instead, I’ll be heading out to meet Alexei somewhere I can fuck him.
Alexei: Preston said no…
Alexei: You sure about this?
When I received his texts last week, I didn’t hesitate: I’m certain.
Only now that I’m about to commit to something neither of us can ever take back, I’m not feeling certain about anything.
Alexei told me he’d get things set up and asked if Friday would work for me. Kind of wished we could have just gotten it over with, but the instructions require him to get a few things together for the ritual. In the meantime, we’ve seen each other in the dorms and around campus, and kept our cool. Acted as though everything’s totally normal and like I haven’t been thinking about fucking him all week.
Obsessing about it, even as I FaceTime with my mother.
“You haven’t been sleeping enough, have you?” she says, inspecting my face.
It would’ve been better not to call, but it’s been a while since I’ve seen or talked to them. I miss them, and I needed to see them, if only to hold on to what it felt like before I started stressing about Alexei.
Before I discovered magic was real.
“Just a lot of studying,” I lie.
If anything, I need to be getting my ass together and make sure to get work done so that this stuff with Alexei doesn’t interfere with the rest of my life any more than it already has.
“Hey, mister,” Dad says as he slides into frame, pulling a stern expression like he might have when I misbehaved as a kid. “You haven’t been returning our calls the past few weeks. I know you’re busy, but that’s no excuse.”
I feel like shit for doing that to them. My parents are the best, and they don’t deserve me going MIA. It’s just…I’ve had so much to think about. Alexei has turned my world upside down, and I sure as hell couldn’t have chatted with them earlier in the week, when I probably looked like I was having a nervous breakdown.
“I’ll do better. What’s going on with you two?”
Dad gets into some of the drama at the school where he teaches, and Mom tells me about what she’s been dealing with at her law firm before switching topics to the new shed in the yard, their project for the past three months.
“I need to get over there and give you a hand,” I tease.
“We’re doing just fine with it,” Dad insists, “thank you very much.”
I laugh before checking the time on my phone.
Can’t believe it’s almost time to meet up with Alexei. Guess that’s what I get for calling them right before; although, I knew it would be a good excuse if they started asking too many questions.