Total pages in book: 97
Estimated words: 93785 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 469(@200wpm)___ 375(@250wpm)___ 313(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 93785 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 469(@200wpm)___ 375(@250wpm)___ 313(@300wpm)
“According to who? Don’t I get a say in who fits into my world?”
“Sure, you do. But you’ve already told me who that is, and that profile isn’t me.”
She laughs sadly, and the sound is clogged with emotion. It smashes my heart into a million pieces. Each shard slices as it hits, and I feel the burn in my chest.
“You aren’t seeing this for what it is. It’s been almost five weeks, Drake. You haven’t had time to think about what this would mean in the long term. I will disappoint you. I promise.”
My sweet girl. Fuck your parents for doing this to you.
“This was always the ending, and you know it,” she says softly. “You told me that. And it’s just time we accept it, I think. This is as good a time as any to get this in the air. We’re just getting deeper, which will make the inevitable just that much harder.”
“Maybe it’s time for you to accept that I’m not going anywhere. Ever. I’ve always known that there was a perfect woman out there for me, and that one day I’d turn a corner and there she would be.” I grin. “I just didn’t expect the ketchup on your shirt part.”
Tears roll down her cheeks. Still, I don’t go to her.
“If it makes you feel any better, I’ve known this was going to happen since the moment I asked you to try me,” I say. “You’d have your finger on the eject button as soon as things got serious.”
“That’s not what’s happening. It’s not like that.”
“No, it is like that. It’s just like that.”
Seeing her cry just feet away from me and not being able to go to her is the worst form of torture. She’s stubborn and headstrong, and she must choose to come to me. She must pick me of her own free will. She’s scared to do that now. In her version of what love is, she thinks I’ll eventually uncheck a box and go on about my day.
She’s about to learn that’s not how it works. Because I love her. Every quirky, hardheaded, beautiful piece of her.
“We should just end it now,” she says through her tears. “There’s no need to prolong this.”
“I agree. There’s no point in any of this.”
She nods as if I’m agreeing with her and walking away. It takes everything I have not to chuckle.
“So I’ll go home and give you space because I think that’s what you want,” I say slowly. “When you decide it’s okay to love me back, I’ll be waiting.”
“Drake …”
“I love you, Gianna.”
She hiccups a sob, and I clench my fist at my side to keep from pulling her into me. Walking away from her is going to be the hardest thing that I’ve ever done. But if I want to keep my girl, then I must. As much as it tears me up inside, it’s the only thing to do.
And the sooner I go, the sooner she can realize this is nonsense.
I start toward the door, but stop by the cookie tin of buttons. “By the way,” I say, holding her gaze for dear life. “You can’t disappoint someone when you never had anything to prove.”
I commit every detail of her to memory. The shine of her hair, the shape of her lips. The sweet curve of her hip. Then I give her a soft, reassuring smile and leave.
Luckily, my tears wait until I get in the SUV before they fall.
CHAPTER
THIRTY-THREE
Drake
Sunday night
Me: Just wanted to tell you good night. I love you.
She might as well get used to hearing it.
It takes her twenty minutes to respond.
Gianna: Good night.
Monday morning
Me: Mondays suck ass.
Me: It’s the only thing I can think of that I dislike that involves sucking.
Gianna: I can vouch for that.
It takes all the self-restraint that I can muster not to respond.
Tuesday afternoon
Me: Catch.
Gianna: Don’t throw it so hard.
Me: I can be gentle.
Gianna: I know.
Me: I love you.
Gianna:
“That’s better than nothing.”
Wednesday morning
Me: Taking Big Ed for a doctor’s appointment today.
Gianna: Is he okay?
Me: I just volunteered so that Mom can take care of a few things.
Gianna: I’ve been thinking a lot.
Me: I hope that’s good for me.
Gianna: This isn’t about you. It’s about me. I know that sounds cliché.
Me: It also sounds true.
Gianna:
Me: I’m here when you’re ready.
Gianna: Why are you so great?
Me: Genetics.
Gianna: Thank Big Ed for me today.
Me: I will. Love you.
Gianna: xo
CHAPTER
THIRTY-FOUR
Drake
“Thanks, Dr. Howser,” I say, as Dad and I get to our feet. The doctor shakes my hand, then Dad’s. “Will your office schedule the scans, or do we need to do it?”
“We’ll do it. Your mom will get a phone call from the lab, and they’ll set it up.” He opens the exam room door. “If you all need anything else, don’t hesitate to call.” He turns to Dad as we enter the hallway. “Ed, it was good to see you. Let me know if I can do anything for you, all right?”