Total pages in book: 97
Estimated words: 93785 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 469(@200wpm)___ 375(@250wpm)___ 313(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 93785 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 469(@200wpm)___ 375(@250wpm)___ 313(@300wpm)
“I bet Lucia says that about me.”
We sit quietly together, neither of us forcing a conversation. There’s no need with Gianna to fill every moment with something for the sake of it. It’s one of my favorite things about being with her. I can just be with her. And that’s enough.
“Is Lucia married?” I ask. “Or does she have kids?”
“Nope, although she’d be happy to get married if she met the right guy, and I can see her being a mother someday. I could see her adopt a baby if she doesn’t meet the right guy. She’s just maternal, I guess.”
“Elodie goes back and forth about adoption. She’s thirty-six and thinks she’s too old to have kids—especially with no husband in sight.”
“I think it’s a nice idea to adopt,” Gianna says.
Oh. “Is that something you’d like to do someday?”
We haven’t talked about having a family since I brought it up on our first date. She balked, and I chalked it up to something she didn’t want to discuss right off the rip—which, understandable. I’ve never brought it up again.
But things have changed. The way I feel about her has changed. We’re almost five weeks into this relationship, and I can see myself settling down with her. She fits into my life like a glove, and I think I fit into hers just as easily. If I had my way, I’d consider myself permanently taken. But if we’re talking about or thinking about a long-term relationship, we’ll have to discuss it at some point.
Gianna shifts, pulling away from me slightly. “I haven’t given it a lot of thought personally. I just meant theoretically.”
“Do you want kids at all?”
She breathes heavily, avoiding eye contact, which is unusual.
“What’s going on?” I ask, confused.
The silence surrounding us is pregnant with tension. Clearly, I led us here but I don’t know how or why. Gianna bites her lip as her breathing grows strained. If I’ve ever seen her in discomfort or saw her anxious, it’s now.
It takes her a full minute of fighting herself over whatever is bothering her before she makes a decision. I hold my breath, curious but also on edge. I don’t like the look on her face. Not at all.
She gasps a shaky breath and shrugs. “We probably need to have this conversation now and get it over with.”
“Um, what conversation?”
She shifts in her seat, gripping the edge of the sofa like she might take off running at any minute. “When we started this whole fake real dating, it was supposed to be fun for six weeks—”
“Gianna.”
“—and it has been fun. It’s been amazing. You’re amazing. But you said it best on our first date.” She drags her eyes to mine as if she’s about to take a bullet. “Under normal circumstances, we’d never be together.”
I flinch. What the fuck is going on? “What are you talking about?”
“Drake—”
“I said that weeks ago when we were first getting to know each other,” I say, panic rising in my throat. “Hell, I probably said it so that you didn’t bolt.” I narrow my gaze, so utterly confused. “Where are you going with this?”
She stands up and moves across the room. Her eyes are wild, her chest rising and falling like she’s struggling for air. She doesn’t want to say this—she doesn’t go wherever she’s headed. But I don’t know where that is and I can’t stop her.
“We have fun together,” she says, her lips quivering. “But we aren’t supposed to be together.”
I snort. “I absolutely disagree.”
Her head whips to mine, and for the briefest moment, I see a flash of hope in her eyes.
“Did I do something wrong? Did I hurt you or offend you somehow?” I ask.
“No.” She licks her lips. “But you did tell me that you loved me in your sleep last night.”
Oh. The air stops moving around us. That’s what’s going on.
My heart pounds as the blanket is jerked off the baby. It all makes sense.
I might’ve been sleeping, but for Gianna, love is a choice. And I added to the pressure, essentially making her feel like I took her choice away.
Her eyes fill with unshed tears. But like the fighter she is, she holds them back. I want to grab her, hold her, and kiss this ridiculous fear out of her. But if I do that, she’ll push back. She’ll feel more cornered than she already does.
Still, I do love her, and it’s not wrong that she knows it. She’s just going to need time to accept it.
“I didn’t mean to tell you that way,” I say gently. “I didn’t plan on telling you anytime soon because I knew you’d do this. So, I’m sorry I said it how I said it, but I’m not sorry that you know the truth—something you probably knew anyway.”
Gianna ignores this. “You and I are such different people. Sure, we can fuck and have a good time. But this isn’t something that goes on forever.” She draws in a shaky breath. “You’re from this big, wonderful family, and you’ll naturally want one of your own. And I just … I don’t fit in that world.”