Total pages in book: 97
Estimated words: 94692 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 473(@200wpm)___ 379(@250wpm)___ 316(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 94692 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 473(@200wpm)___ 379(@250wpm)___ 316(@300wpm)
I headed up the porch steps and…here goes everything. “The problem is, I can’t enter a playtime dynamic with them unless I have my husband by my side, and…I also don’t know shit about bondage.”
I unlocked the door and opened it, then made sure a feisty little kitten didn’t escape, but Paws wasn’t in the hallway. I turned off the alarm.
Stepping to the side, I waited for Nate to enter first. My heart went back to hammering, and my chest felt uncomfortably tight.
Say something.
He did walk in, but he wouldn’t look me in the eye. Not that it stopped me from seeing that his eyes were welling up.
I’d never been good with silence—if I was uncomfortable.
I was uncomfortable now.
I stood there like an idiot and fiddled with my keys while Nathan walked farther in. He removed his shoes and peered into the kitchen. Then he continued into the living room and stopped short when he saw all the pictures on the wall around the entertainment unit.
Seriously, what was going on inside his head?
I closed the door behind me and kicked off my boots.
What to say next?
Please give us a second chance, or I will hold you hostage here until you agree.
I pressed a fist to my chest in a feeble attempt to ease the knot of unease.
Once I reached the wide doorway to the living room, I couldn’t move another inch. He was clearly upset but trying to hold it together, and I didn’t know if that was good or bad. I didn’t know if he was holding back something else too, like rejection or… Just rejection.
But I had to say something. The cards weren’t on the table yet.
“I miss you so fucking much. Please don’t make me take off my ring.” And with those words out there, my throat closed up, and I scrubbed a hand over my jaw. “I can’t.”
He reacted in an instant, as if the levees broke. A low sob escaped, and he cupped a hand over his mouth and turned away. Fuck that, fuck that, fuck that. I’d never been able to handle seeing him upset. It cut through my damn heart. Without even thinking about it, I stalked over to him and yanked him into my arms.
He fell apart, which would’ve hurt a lot more if he hadn’t hugged me back.
His arms around my middle became my life-force and filled my lungs with air.
I squeezed him tighter as he cried, and I pressed my lips to his temple.
“I thought you’d let me go,” he whimpered.
Fuck.
I shook my head minutely. “How could I ever do that?” My voice came out too thick, and I had to swallow hard and clear my throat. “You are my world, Nathan.”
Those low sobs of his tore through me—and they set me off too. I screwed my eyes shut and just held him as tightly as I could, and he did the same. It almost hurt, how hard he hugged me back. But I needed it more than words could describe.
It was like being glued back together.
“I’ve hated every fucking minute of this past year,” he croaked.
“Me too, baby. Me too.” I sniffled and wiped at my cheek.
Right when I thought I couldn’t hold him any tighter, I found more strength in my longing. It was physically impossible for me to go the other way and loosen my grip. We had so many cracks that needed mending.
Hey, he was the rigger. He could tie us together.
Breathe.
I didn’t know how long we stood there, two minutes, three, maybe four, but it wasn’t enough. I needed skin on skin, no expiration date, and no interruptions.
I hadn’t been hugged like this in ages…
Nathan has.
I sniffled once more and got stuck on that pissy, intrusive little thought.
Jealousy was a nasty bitch.
I had to clear my throat, ’cause I was the dumbass who was gonna fish for details.
“At, uh… At least you moved on a little bit. All I did was listen to sad ballads.”
He let out a tearful chuckle and shook his head. “At best, I was decent at pretending for a while.”
Thank fuck. Oh, thank fuck.
I’d needed to hear that.
“Good.” I pressed my lips to his neck. “Good.”
He let out a shuddering breath and tugged at my belt. “Can you lose the work clothes?”
Yeah, they probably weren’t comfortable to be squeezed up against.
“I’ll do you one better,” I said, sniffling. “We’ll both lose our clothes, and then we’re taking a fucking shower.”
The shower was our place. It’d been that way since we’d had kids.
Plus, I wanted him to experience a shower where the water didn’t take half an eternity to heat up.
“Come on, I wanna see those abs up close.”
He laughed under his breath and wiped at his face.
We weren’t really ready to laugh yet, but a pressure release was always nice.
It was like coming home.