Total pages in book: 98
Estimated words: 92972 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 465(@200wpm)___ 372(@250wpm)___ 310(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 92972 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 465(@200wpm)___ 372(@250wpm)___ 310(@300wpm)
“What’s wrong?” Charlotte asks, leaning back in her chair, her plate clean except for a few crumbs. “You feeling okay? Maybe I shouldn’t have opened that second bottle of wine last night.”
I shake my head. “No, it’s not that. I feel fine. I mean, physically fine.” I pick at the edge of the bread, but can’t force myself to bring it to my mouth. “It’s just my fans…” I nod toward the laptop. “They’re being so wonderful and supportive and praying for me, and…” I wince. “I feel awful for lying. They probably think I’m fighting cancer or something, and here I am, feeling fine and feasting on homemade banana bread.”
“To be fair, you aren’t feasting on anything,” Charlotte says. “You’ve barely touched your breakfast or your coffee. But more importantly, there’s no need to feel guilty. Seriously. You’re fresh out of a horrible relationship. Domestic violence is serious shit.”
I sink lower in my chair. “I know, but I’m not sick. And I—”
“No, but you’re in recovery all the same,” Charlotte cuts in, the no-nonsense tone in her usually calm, soothing voice making it clear she isn’t saying this just to make me feel better. “You have a lot of healing to do before you’ll be the person you were before Kai.”
I press my lips together, fighting a wave of something darker than guilt.
She’s right.
I will.
And honestly…
“I don’t think I’ll ever be that person again,” I say. “I was just a kid when we met. A girl. Now, I’m a woman, but I’ve never been a woman without a partner. Without Kai. He’s the only person I’ve ever kissed, the only person I’ve ever…anything.” I shoot a pointed glance her way. “I’m basically a ‘sleeping with guys who aren’t controlling psychos’ virgin. Which probably isn’t healthy this close to thirty.”
“Healthy, smealthy,” she says. “None of us have love or sex figured out in our twenties, girl. I’m not sure I’d even been naked with someone with the lights on by the time I was your age.”
My eyes widen despite myself, but Charlotte only laughs.
“I know, right?” She rolls her eyes with a wistful smile. “Poor twenty-eight-year-old me. She was super repressed. But then, six years of cotillion classes and weird, Deep South, daddy-daughter coming out dances will do that to a girl.”
I laugh. “I can imagine.”
“See? We’re all a little bit messed up. But I figured my shit out, and you will, too. Just be gentle with yourself. You’ll be fine.” Her tone softens as she adds, “You’re smart, strong, and talented as hell. And you have a big brother who would lie down in traffic for you, so…”
My lips twitch. “Yeah, he’s pretty great.”
“He is,” she agrees. “And now, you have me, too. No matter what happens with Baylor, I’m on your team, okay?”
I nod, the backs of my eyes beginning to sting. I hunch even lower in my chair, tensing every muscle and sipping in slow breaths, refusing to cry again. I spent half an hour sobbing in the shower last night before bed. I’m done crying over Kai.
At least for the next day or two.
When I can pull in a breath without sobbing, I say, “Same. I don’t see you and Bay being anything but long-term material, but if he fucks it up for some reason, I would really love to stay on your friend list. You’re smart and strong, too.” I shrug, adding shyly, “I’ve always wanted a big sister. Having a big brother is great, but sisters know things brothers don’t. Heart things. And girl things.” I grin, tone lightening as I add, “And I could really use someone who understands fashion to take me shopping. It’s past time I ditched the little goth girl lost look and found a style that feels like me.”
Charlotte beams as she clasps her hands together. “Oh my God, yes! I mean, you’re an adorable little goth girl lost, but I’m a sucker for a makeover.”
“Yay,” I say, though I immediately feel compelled to confess, “but I have no idea what I like. I’m not much of a clothes girl. It was honestly kind of a relief when Kai started dressing me to match the band’s vibe. In high school, I was just a band nerd in jeggings and giant sweatshirts. Usually with zombie unicorns or something on them. I could be a legitimately hopeless fashion case.”
She waves a breezy hand. “Not at all. You’re a blank slate. Which makes things even more exciting. Just start looking around while we’re out and about this weekend, point out things you like, and I’ll get a vibe for your aesthetic. Then, we can go from there. Maybe start with a small capsule wardrobe you can try out to see if it feels right.”
I nod, the tight feeling around my midsection easing. “Yeah, that sounds great. Thanks, Charlotte. Really. I appreciate you so much.”