Total pages in book: 98
Estimated words: 92972 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 465(@200wpm)___ 372(@250wpm)___ 310(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 92972 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 465(@200wpm)___ 372(@250wpm)___ 310(@300wpm)
Blue: I wouldn’t count on it.
Nix: Just tell me. What did he do? I’m in the bedroom by myself now. If I need to punch a pillow to let off steam, the girls won’t have to see it.
Blue: You need meditation in your life. Violence doesn’t blow off steam. It only breeds more violence.
Nix: Right. I’ll work on that. And understanding what it means to hear the sound of one man clapping and all the other Zen stuff. Right after I do whatever it takes to make sure Kai is too scared shitless of Bea’s psycho big brother to so much as think her name.
Blue: I was afraid of this. I shouldn’t have contacted you. I should have found another way to ensure Beatrice is safe.
Nix: No, you shouldn’t have! I’m her brother, Blue. You barely know her. Keeping her safe isn’t your responsibility; it’s mine.
Blue: Technically, once she files a restraining order, it would be law enforcement’s responsibility. But I know better than to put too much faith in the police.
Nix: Or put faith in a man like Kai to honor a restraining order.
Blue: Exactly.
Nix: Please, Blue. I promise I won’t fly off the handle. I’ll take whatever information you give me, think long and hard on it, talk it over with Charlotte—and Beatrice if I think she can handle it—and go from there.
Blue: Beatrice is stronger than you give her credit for, but I wouldn’t tell her about this. I don’t like keeping secrets, but this isn’t the kind of thing anyone wants to learn about someone they shared a bed with for years. It’s more likely to do more harm than good. It’s already going to be hard for her to trust her own judgement again after being with a man like that. She doesn’t deserve any more of an uphill battle than she’s facing already.
Nix: Very wise advice. See? You’re a wise man. A wise man who wouldn’t have reached out to me if he didn’t know, deep down, that he could trust me to make responsible decisions. I know I have a rep for flying off the handle once and a while, but I’m mostly harmless.
Blue: Hmm.
Nix: Is that a hmm of agreement?
Blue: I may be an iceberg, but you’re a chimera.
Nix: The monster in Greek mythology that had three heads?
Blue: Yes. A lion, a goat, and a snake. You show the lion on the ice, and the goat to everyone else, but the quiet, cunning snake is always watching. Waiting. Seeing everything. Poised to take advantage of the fact that people assume you’re a harmless, friendly goat when the need arises.
Nix: I don’t know whether to be offended or…appreciative. Though I’m honestly not sure what I’m appreciating.
Blue: It’s always good to be seen for who we really are.
Nix: It is. But just like the iceberg is made of the same stuff, all the heads are attached to the same body. They share the same heart. I’m not a bad man, either.
Blue: No, you’re not. But you could exercise more restraint, on and off the ice. It would be good for you.
Nix: I’m working on it. Being with Charlotte has already helped a lot. Like you said, it’s good to be seen. She sees me, and I know she’ll help me make smart decisions. But she’s at risk, too. Or could be. She and Makena, and one of their friends, who did ten years in the Air Force, are going to Mobile with Bea on Saturday. They were planning to be backstage during the concert and stay at the hotel with her on Saturday night, just so she’s never alone with Kai. But now I’m not sure if any of them will be safe, even if they’re not alone.
Blue: No, I think that sounds like a perfect plan. He’s a coward. He doesn’t have the balls to take on four grown women. I think they’ll be fine. I’m relieved to hear this and feel good about it. I think you should, too.
Nix: Okay, maybe I will, ONCE YOU STOP DANCING AROUND THE SUBJECT AND TELL ME WHAT HE FUCKING DID ALREADY.
Blue: You won’t like it. I think you’d be better off not knowing, too. Just let me carry this for your family. I can handle it, and I’m happy to do it.
Nix: That’s very generous, Blue, but no. I’m not the kind of person who finds ignorance even a little blissful.
Blue: All right. His name isn’t Kai. It’s Henry James Killian. If that doesn’t sound familiar, search the name in conjunction with Nebraska, fifteen years ago. You’ll find everything you never wanted to know in black and white.
Eighteen
NIX
Fifteen minutes later, I want to throw up.
I want to throw up, brush my teeth, then charge out to the living room to tell Beatrice that she’s never leaving this apartment.