Total pages in book: 138
Estimated words: 133034 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 665(@200wpm)___ 532(@250wpm)___ 443(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 133034 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 665(@200wpm)___ 532(@250wpm)___ 443(@300wpm)
I miss chocolate fudge cake. I miss watching Josh sip his large Americano once the meal is done. I miss sharing three different starters and contemplating which one is the best as though we’re Michelin starred food critics.
I miss… everything.
Small steps, though.
We did go out hand in hand yesterday to stock up on supplies from a nearby supermarket, which is a role Josh has long taken to doing solo, but as for a busy restaurant, with onlookers all around us… that feels like a whole other crazy ballgame.
“You’re doing the lip thing,” Josh says. “Which I guess means you’re considering it. I’ll take that as a positive, since it’s not a flat out no.”
Josh noticed the lip chewing thing I do very early on in our relationship. I can’t help but smile, because as usual he’s realised that I’m doing it before I have.
My logic may seem dumb as fuck. Freaking out about a restaurant meal when I’m happy to hang out in Victoria coach station to fuck a stranger between bus arrivals, but it’s different to be in plain sight.
“It’ll be scary,” I say. “To be on view like that. People looking.”
“I get it, baby, but who knows? Keeping the sprint up might ease your nerves all the quicker.” He pauses. “Like I said, it’ll be low key. A little Italian place nearby, not a celebrity hangout.” I love his smirk. “We’ll save that for when you’re running to the finish line at full speed.”
I laugh. “You’ll be waiting a heck of a long time for that.”
He strokes my face. “I’m not so sure.”
I adore Josh’s faith in me. He’s both a coach and a cheerleader in one. A perfect combination.
I stretch my arms over my head and take a great big yawn. It’s got to be almost midday, but that makes sense, since we were up most of the night having filthy fun time. The bed here is comfortable, and so is the sofa with its plush, comfy cushions. I’d be more than content with another snuggle up of a movie night tonight with Josh, but it’s all just comfy cushions, to comfy cushions, to comfy cushions, and that’s not going to last for ever. I wouldn’t want it to.
There’s no denying it. Venturing out to an actual restaurant again would be a dream come true.
“What if someone recognises me, though?” I ask the obvious.
Josh shrugs. “Then we leave. Or stay. Up to you. More importantly though, what if they don’t? Wouldn’t that be great?”
I sigh at the thought. “That would be amazing. Absolutely fucking amazing.”
“Then let’s do it. Let’s book into the Italian by Union Road and take our chances. We can always bail and run if anything goes sour. The most we can lose is some lasagne.”
“And my fearless confidence.”
He shakes his head, his eyes gorgeous as they lock on mine.
“That will never be at risk. You may fall hard, but you’re a gold hearted warrior. That fearless confidence will always come back.”
“I have you to thank for that.”
His eyes are so full of life.
“Lovely compliment, but that’s utter bullshit. You’d be a warrior regardless. You don’t give yourself enough credit. Take pride in all your accomplishments, baby. A whole load of people would have fallen for good, having had to deal with what you have.”
My mind whizzes back through the cacophony of situations that have struck me over the past twelve months. There have been loads of awesome waves in the ocean of chaos, where I’ve been surfing up high with a grin on my face, but fuck, there have also been so many lows. And almost every single one of those lows has had a common denominator…
The whizz of my mind seals the deal for me.
My jackass cunt of an ex isn’t going to win another round. No way. I want lasagne with Josh in a candlelit restaurant and I want it tonight, not another damn pizza delivery and movie marathon.
“Ok, let’s do it,” I say. “See if you can book us a table.”
Josh holds up his phone, and I see a confirmation email from the restaurant.
“No need. I already knew my gold hearted warrior would keep sprinting.”
I wrap my arms around him, giving him a whole new snuggle fest under the covers.
His faith in me is priceless. I’ll treasure it all of my life.
“I love you,” I tell him.
“Same goes, baby. Can’t wait to be back out there in the world with you.”
“Not long to wait, then.”
Despite the zing at the prospect of getting back out there, I don’t feel like such a gold hearted warrior when I’m getting ready for the great outdoors later that evening. I opt for a low key outfit, which is nothing like I’d usually go for. A pair of tight black jeans and a burgundy cami, which is cool enough, just not exactly romantic meal territory.