Total pages in book: 139
Estimated words: 133655 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 668(@200wpm)___ 535(@250wpm)___ 446(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 133655 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 668(@200wpm)___ 535(@250wpm)___ 446(@300wpm)
“Hell no,” Finn says and Scottie laughs.
“Finn!” she whisper-yells and slaps him on the shoulder. “What are you going to do?”
“Well, babe, I guess I’m going to wing the whole discussion with confidence and a smile.”
Scottie rolls her eyes and looks over at me. “What about you, Ace?”
I blink. “What?”
“Did you read it?”
I stare down at my empty desk. “No. I didn’t.”
Finn narrows his eyes, studying me for a second too long. “You good, man?”
“Yeah,” I lie. “Just didn’t sleep much.”
That part’s true. I spent most of the night staring at the ceiling, checking my phone every ten minutes like maybe Julia would cave. Like maybe the fifteen-minute rule wasn’t completely dead.
Spoiler: It is. Over twenty-four hours have passed.
Professor Dudley walks into class, drops his briefcase down onto his desk, and immediately starts talking about narrative dissonance and voice tension—ironically appropriate, considering how tense my chest feels.
I try to focus. I try to care. But every time Julia shifts in her seat or pushes her hair behind her ear or Drew smiles in her direction, it’s like a knife under my skin.
Scottie and Finn crack quiet jokes throughout the whole damn lecture. And normally, I’d be all into that game, but I hardly even hear what they’re saying.
After class, I pack up slowly. Julia and Drew are standing up near their seats, and he’s talking with his hands and leaning in like he’s performing, and she’s smiling up at him like she wants to hear it.
Then he does it. He reaches out and brushes a piece of hair behind her ear. The move. The soft one. The kind of thing I’ve done a thousand times without even thinking.
Something in my chest fractures.
I walk toward the door without saying a word.
Scottie and Finn catch up to me as we head out of the building.
“Wanna grab lunch with us, Ace?” Scottie asks. “Taco bar at Brower. Finn’s convinced they secretly use expired meat, and I want to test that theory with my life. Trav and Jack and Reece are supposed to meet us there too.”
“I can’t,” I mutter. “I gotta go meet with my counselor.”
“What? Why?” Scottie frowns.
Finn looks at me in the way he does. The one where he’s trying to see inside my fucking skull because he knows something’s up.
“It’s no big deal.” I shake my head and start walking faster. “Just thinking about changing some classes. Don’t worry about it.”
Neither of them says anything, but I can feel Finn watching me like he already knows more than he should. I’m not surprised. It’s fucking hard hiding the fact that someone’s ripped open my chest and is currently feasting on the carnage.
Especially since this is the first time in my life I’ve ever felt this way. Before now, no matter what else was happening, I had Julia.
Now. I have nothing at all.
Wednesday, September 17th
Julia
Ace walks into Calc 2 two minutes late, but basically right on time because Professor Emmsy is conveniently MIA. Of course, I see Ace the second he steps through the door—even though I’m pretending to listen to Drew tell me about the big tailgate plans for the Dickson game this weekend—because despite my best intentions, I’m not even close to over the nuclear fallout with my lifelong best friend.
My stomach flips and my pulse jumps, and I force myself to look away when Ace doesn’t glance in my direction before he slumps into a seat in the back row like it physically hurts him to be upright.
Drew managed to get the girl who was sitting to the right of me to switch with him yesterday morning by bribing her with donut holes, but the seat to the left of mine is technically Ace’s via Professor Emmsy’s beginning of the semester assignments and, thus, remains poignantly empty.
It feels like a boulder is stuck inside my throat, and I swallow hard against it. The urge to cry is so strong that I have to shut my eyes briefly to keep the tears at bay. I do not want to be emotional right now. Actually, I refuse to be emotional right now. I’m in the middle of class, for goodness’ sake. Now isn’t the time to start sobbing in front of everyone, most of all Drew, who’s been nothing but kind and understanding as I work through the turmoil of having an ex-best friend.
I still haven’t gone into the details with him about what happened with Ace, and even if it’s selfish, I don’t know that I ever will.
The wound full of questions I can’t answer is too deep.
Is it really done? Our friendship? Our bond? Are we really no longer Ace and Julia but strangers who used to be best friends?
Instead, I made up a dumb lie about us being in a fight over something Ace’s dad did to my dad.