Total pages in book: 110
Estimated words: 107306 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 537(@200wpm)___ 429(@250wpm)___ 358(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 107306 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 537(@200wpm)___ 429(@250wpm)___ 358(@300wpm)
That’s not what I was trying to do. Make sure he had food, yes, because he’d said he was hungry at my place earlier, but we’d bailed before we could eat. It had nothing to do with scoring points or whatever Ollie is saying. “It’s not a big deal.”
“Maybe to some it’s not, but it is to them. And even if Rory doesn’t acknowledge it or realize what’s happening, it’s a big deal for him too. Rory needs people who have his best interests at heart.” Ollie begins looking in the fridge.
“He can take care of himself,” I defend.
“Yes, but just because he can doesn’t mean he always does. That’s something you have to remember with Rory. I’m not saying to treat him with kid gloves, but he can sometimes go too far or get hyperfocused on something, and it’s not always good for him. Cillian is good at reeling him in, and now I do too. If you’re going to be with him, you need to be able to give him his freedom while being the anchor he sometimes needs so he doesn’t drift away.”
Not sure I completely understand what Ollie means, but intuitively, I feel it’s true. “We’re not like that. We’re just fucking.”
“I hope that’s not how you feel because even if Rory thinks that’s all it is, he’s wrong. You wouldn’t be in this house otherwise. Cil said Rory has never brought someone home before—not like this.”
My head spins, my equilibrium slightly off. “That doesn’t mean anything.”
Ollie sighs. “It does, though. There’s been this…this wall around the group of them for so long, the only place they’re safe is with each other. People came and went, but they never let anyone into those places that truly matter, not until Tiernan did with Dean, and Cillian with me, and now, even if you don’t see it, Rory does with you. That’s why it’s hard on Cillian. It’s a change, and for him, it’s not just Rory being obsessed with you. It’s that I know you and work with you, and I’ve been adamant about keeping our friendship. In Cillian’s mind, Rory and I are his, and now you’re not just working your way into Rory’s life, but both of ours.”
This is a lot. I fall into one of the kitchen chairs, too many thoughts to focus on just one ping-ponging in my head. “Rory says they’re not in love.”
“They’re not,” Ollie says firmly, zero doubt in his tone.
“It doesn’t bother you?”
“No. I love Rory too, and I know that when Cillian needed him, Rory was always there for him. And when Rory needed Cil, he was always by Rory’s side too. There are different kinds of love, Shai, and having one for one person doesn’t limit what you can have for someone else.”
I nod, believing him—that these things are coming from Ollie’s heart, that there are no hard feelings here.
“Will it bother you? If you and Rory become more, I mean. Can you accept it?”
“Cillian hates me.”
“Cillian will never hate someone who’s good to Rory. If you are, then you have nothing to worry about. I’m not saying it won’t take him time to come around.”
We chuckle, but I sober quickly. I can’t begin to wrap my head around this conversation. I think about the story Rory told me, about that wild, traumatized little boy who found his mom in a pool of blood. Who lay next to her, held her, mourned her alone until Cillian arrived…Cillian who sat with him, who never left him alone, who would have spent eternity in that bed with Rory if he’d needed it. Why would I want him to lose something I would do anything to have myself?
“No, it wouldn’t bother me.”
“Good because I don’t want either of them to get hurt. Rory’s claimed you, and as barbaric as that sounds, and as much as a quiet voice in my head tells me I shouldn’t like that feeling, there’s nothing in this world like being claimed by one of them.”
I nod. Even if I’m not sure I’ve been claimed by Rory like he says, I don’t doubt how special it is being chosen by any of them.
“Bunny, I’m starving. You guys haven’t even found any food yet.” Rory comes into the kitchen, being dramatic like he often is. “I’ll die if I don’t eat.”
Ollie laughs. “I’m working on it.”
“Go see your boy instead. Shai and I have this.”
Ollie nods, and I watch as Rory kisses his temple. Ollie gives me a small, unsure smile before slipping out of the room.
“You gonna make food with me or what?” he asks.
I push to my feet, walk over, and ease Rory back until his body is wedged between mine and the kitchen counter.
“Want something?” he asks, eyebrow raised.
“A taste of my cherry,” I reply, then press my lips to his, let my tongue sweep into his mouth, tasting the toothpaste there from earlier, and somehow, I know nothing will ever be the same again.