Total pages in book: 147
Estimated words: 136048 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 680(@200wpm)___ 544(@250wpm)___ 453(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 136048 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 680(@200wpm)___ 544(@250wpm)___ 453(@300wpm)
I’m gonna have hell to pay for that, but where Harper is concerned, I don’t particularly give a fuck.
Turning on my heel, I make my way into Izzy’s home as I listen to the sweet sound of her banging on the door. “You big fucker,” Izzy screeches. “I’m gonna have your balls for this, you giant asshole.”
I tune her out as I make my way deeper into the house, following the unmistakable sound of what could only be Vikings playing from the main bedroom. I step straight over the threshold, welcoming myself into the bedroom to find Harper curled up in bed, looking sorry for herself.
“Is he gone?” she mutters.
“Nope.”
Harper’s head whips up, her eyes wide. “What the hell are you doing in here?” she demands before pausing a second and realizing something is off. “What the hell did you do with Izzy?”
“She’s fine,” I tell her. “You’re not answering my texts.”
“Because you’re a grouchy asshole who thinks I made up being sexually assaulted.”
“Come on, doll,” I say, striding right around the bed and sitting down beside her. “Don’t say it like that. You know how I feel about all of this. I know it’s real to you. The trauma, fear, and emotion is real, and you know that I’m right here to get you through that. It’s just . . . We’ve been through this before. I know the signs, and I want to help you. I fucking need to help you, doll.”
Tears well in her eyes, and she crawls out of bed and climbs onto my lap, and her arm hooks around the back of my neck. “You’re right,” she whispers. “We have been here before, which is why you should trust that I know the difference between what’s real and what’s not. How it feels to truly have someone plunging their fingers inside me, and how it feels when my mind distorts the truth. The fact that you don’t believe me, that you think I’m capable of making up something like that, or even stabbing myself to the point where I almost bled out all alone in a parking garage is insane to me. I love you, Knight, but you’re breaking my heart.”
I wrap my arms around her, pulling her into me. “The last thing I want is to hurt you, doll.”
“I know,” she says, sounding completely broken. “And I know you wish you could see things the way that I do, or in the very least, understand me the way I need you to, but you can’t, and I can’t call you home knowing that you don’t believe me.”
“This isn’t the end, Harper.”
“It has to be.”
“No, it’s not,” I tell her. “I’m more than happy for you to push me away and tell me that I’m not what you need, but you and I both know that’s bullshit. I’m not going anywhere. I fucking love you, doll. When you’re burning, I’m burning too, and right now, your whole fucking world is up in flames, and you’re not letting me step into them with you. That’s not how we work, doll. That’s not how I love you.”
“Because the type of help you want to give me isn’t the kind of help I need,” she says. “I get where you’re coming from, and I more than understand why you’ve jumped directly to those conclusions, but I need you to trust me on this. This stalker is real, and he poses a very real threat to my life. And I get it, I looked crazy digging through my underwear drawer for a rose that wasn’t there, but I’m telling you, it was. This man showed up in the parking garage, boasted about stealing my notes from the hospital, re-created my hallucinations, told me nobody would believe me, and you’ve proven him right. He’s been tormenting me ever since, and there’s nothing I can do about it until you decide to get onboard. I need you to have faith in me. I need you to trust me.”
I let out a heavy sigh, pulling her into me again, my hand roaming up and down her back as the subtle sound of Izzy banging against her front door rumbles through the house. “I’m sorry, Harper,” I murmur, my lips pressing against her temple. “You have no fucking idea how much I wish I could give you what you want, but I’m not about to sit here and lie to you. You’re sick, doll, and there’s no shame in visiting Dr. Carzy and letting her know what’s going on. She can change up your meds. We’ll find something that works for you, but I can’t sleep at night knowing that you might hurt yourself, and it’s not fair for you to do that to Izzy. She thinks she can handle it, but what happens when you try to hurt yourself again? What happens to her if she can’t get to you in time? The guilt that she would have to live with for the rest of her life . . . fuck, doll. It’ll kill her.”