Total pages in book: 57
Estimated words: 52592 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 263(@200wpm)___ 210(@250wpm)___ 175(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 52592 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 263(@200wpm)___ 210(@250wpm)___ 175(@300wpm)
When my mom died, I didn’t handle it well, especially after having been a witness to her murder. It was a formative age for me, and I struggled both socially and emotionally after that. My father was of no help at all. He grew even more detached from me after that, as if he had a new, bigger priority in his life to tend to. And when I met Valentina at the private academy that we were both shipped off to, she and I saw pieces of ourselves in each other. She felt alone for different reasons, mostly because she felt overshadowed by the weight of her family’s expectations, and she was desperate for authentic connections outside of her family’s circles. I didn’t know at first what those circles were.
We quickly became confidantes, “thick as thieves,” as our mutually shared feelings of loneliness drew us together and misunderstanding. It was like our paths were meant to cross. I used to think that it was fate that made us friends. During school, our friendship was full of late-night talks, whispered secrets, and shared dreams of escaping our lives. She wanted to escape from her predetermined path, and I wanted to escape from the past that haunted me. I found comfort and normalcy in Valentina’s quiet understanding and unconditional acceptance. And I think she might have admired my determination and courage, traits that she wasn’t able to openly emulate herself without fear of repercussions.
Throughout our years at the academy, she and I were there to support each other every step of the way. We met in secret outside of school to escape wandering eyes that might report back to our families. We shared journal entries filled with aspirations, fears, and juicy morsels about the hidden sides of our families. Even crushes. We kept everything between us to the strictest confidence. Our friendship was nothing short of sacred. And when either of us endured a personal crisis, whether it was the ongoing grief from my mother’s death or Valentina’s ongoing pressure to conform to her father’s plans for her future, we knew that at least we had each other to share our feelings with.
But after graduating from the academy, as adulthood matured us and our familial obligations intensified, our relationship faced strain.
For my part, I became obsessed with uncovering the truth of my mother’s death. I hadn’t meant to push Valentina away, but it happened anyway due to my increasingly distant and compulsive behavior. Valentina became more open with me about her father’s mafia connections and her father’s ultimate goal of an arranged marriage for her. She hinted she didn’t want me involved in her life anymore because she feared it was becoming too dangerous for me to be anywhere near mafia politics, especially the kind that her family was engaged with.
The distance between us, even though I don’t think either of us intentionally wanted it to, grew and spread. First, unanswered texts marked it, and we avoided glances whenever we saw each other. Then, a gradual silence fell over our entire friendship, and that became too deep to cross easily.
When I received the unexpected invitation to Valentina’s wedding, it brought years of unresolved emotions to the surface. And even though I had my own other reasons for attending, I would be lying to myself if I didn’t admit that I secretly longed for closure and reconnection with the only friend who once understood me so deeply. I don’t know how Valentina feels about me being here at her wedding today. I haven’t even seen her so much as look in my direction. It honestly makes me feel the same way that I felt before she stopped writing back to me and before a ravine of distance caused our relationship to capsize. I wish I could see inside Valentina’s heart so that I could know if our friendship might ever stand a chance of coming back from the ashes. And I wish I could see inside the Ghost’s head so that I could figure out what actually happened that night in the alley and why this murderer has taken up permanent residence in my mind. So far, I’m not much closer to figuring out either of those two things. I came here for answers, but now I only have more questions.
CHAPTER 5
ELLE
After leaving both the wedding reception and Italy, I return to Las Vegas with little more insight than I went there with. I had hoped to understand my past with the Ghost and heal my old wounds with Valentina, but I got no more than an inch closer to doing either. At least the flight back to the States is long, so that I can close my eyes and catch a rest before jumping back into things when we touch down in Vegas. People like Vincent and Isla Moretti have their own private planes to jet around the world, but I’m relegated to commercial airlines and connecting flights. The stewardess on my last leg is friendly and gives me both a sleep mask and an in-flight Bloody Mary, so within minutes of the flight reaching altitude, I’m already dozing off.