Total pages in book: 57
Estimated words: 52592 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 263(@200wpm)___ 210(@250wpm)___ 175(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 52592 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 263(@200wpm)___ 210(@250wpm)___ 175(@300wpm)
But the excuse of protecting her is just that—an excuse. It feels more like I’m claiming her. And that would be one of those feelings that my brother warned me about. I can hear him scolding me in my head—no attachment, no personal involvement, no feelings.
Even though I know his dying lesson is one that I should be listening to, I know that these conflicted emotions I’m having about Elle Monroe are the first cracks in the armor of emotional isolation that I’ve built.
Once I’ve seen all that I can see, and more than I ever intended to find, I slip back out of the apartment, securing the lock again as if no one had been here in her absence.
Elle could be my undoing; she knows too much, and she’s not going to stop digging around until I either disappear or she finds the answers she’s looking for—answers that she thinks she wants but that I can assure her she doesn’t. But can I stop myself from getting even closer to her?
The answer to that question has already been decided, and anything else would just be a lie.
As I walk down the city streets, keenly attuned to the constant thrum of motion around me, I think about the best way to handle this. Even if I continue to watch over her, and that entangles our lives even further together, how do I handle it in a way that doesn’t compromise who I am as the Ghost?
If I continue to keep her on the outside, as I’ve done with everyone since the day my brother died, Elle will continue to push further and find out more about me. Letting her do that means risking that she might put together the profile of a ruthless killer, one that she thinks she might need to expose or go up against. As I see it, the only way to prevent that from happening if I intend to stay around is for me to let her in. Just a little, of course. The mere thought of letting anyone into my life stirs up many past traumas that I don’t care to revisit. Being the Ghost is almost like a mask that can hide who I used to be, even from myself. I’ll choose only a few things to tell her about, a few morsels of truth that will keep her appetite for answers at bay. If she can understand me and understand where I’ve come from, then maybe that will be the start of her path toward true closure. Instead of spending her days chasing me, she can focus on rooting out corruption of the likes of which her father brings to this city. The Mafia has its fair share of wicked people doing wicked things, but going up against the powerful families, especially on these sorts of solo reckless ventures that Elle has a reputation for pursuing, is a slow walk toward a death sentence. Going up against people like her father, who corrupts the system from within and pulls the strings for crimes to go unseen and unpunished, is a much safer bet for her. I can protect her, as long as she stops trying to unravel my life.
The feelings rising within me are formidable. It’s as if a protective, possessive match has been lit, and I can’t snuff it out. I’ve been isolated for so long that I didn’t know that I could even feel this way, so fiercely protective of anyone else. This is going to force me into a state of emotional vulnerability that I have long since avoided, and for what? For years, I’ve chosen withdrawal rather than confrontation or personal relationships. And now, I shake my head as I realize that I’m about to risk all of it for the girl from the alley.
After thinking it through, I come up with a plan. I always have a plan, another lesson that I learned the night my brother died. Plans keep things from going sideways.
I have a safe house outside the city, a few miles out into the desert. It’s remote, secluded, and the only place that I know I can talk freely without worrying that anyone could overhear. I had the whole place outfitted with security monitoring thanks to my very tech-savvy friend, so I can be completely confident that no listening device or surveillance intrusion of any kind can get inside. That is the place where I’ll have Elle come so that I can tell her a few things and try to get her to understand what she’s been poking her nose into.
She and I have been at odds since this all began years ago in that alleyway, and the more she’s tried to poke into my life, the more trouble it’s caused me. But yet, for reasons that I can’t yet explain, I find myself becoming gradually drawn to her with an intensity that I just can’t shake.