Total pages in book: 86
Estimated words: 81018 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 405(@200wpm)___ 324(@250wpm)___ 270(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 81018 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 405(@200wpm)___ 324(@250wpm)___ 270(@300wpm)
I’d hold him like this all night if he needed it, there on the floor of his office as my ass went numb, but after a few moments, wetness hit my neck, and I couldn’t keep quiet.
“What can I do? What do you need from me, Ryder?” No ask was too big. I’d open my veins for him if he needed it to feel better.
CHAPTER FOUR
RYDER
Warm, strong, and solid, Alex held me plastered to him like we belonged, entwined as one. Nothing had felt this good in a long time. This is what I wanted, a life with this man, whatever that looked like, and at that moment, I realized I would do anything to keep him.
“What can I do? What do you need from me?” he asked as though he was the one who needed to alter something to fix our relationship.
No, that was all me. I was the one who’d broken or, at the very least, cracked our foundation. Tears dripped from my eyes as emotions attacked me from all angles—guilt, fear, failure, despair, and gratitude for this man.
“Don’t leave me,” I whispered against his ear. “I know things are fucked up right now, and it’s my fault, but please don’t leave me. I’m going to fix it. I promise.” I’d never allowed myself to show a fraction of the vulnerability I was displaying to Alex at that moment. Not my parents, not my sister, not my closest friends, and never any of the many employees I oversaw. The world saw what I wanted them to see—carefree confidence, bordering on and maybe crossing over to arrogance. I controlled that narrative. It’s what I gave to Alex for years. He did the same, but his mask was stonier and came with many more scowls.
But he’d let me in. He’d let me see beneath his prickly exterior to the man struggling with complicated family dynamics, working his ass off to pay for school, and trying his best to be what everyone in his life needed.
It was my turn to do the same. To trust he would still feel the same way about me after I imploded.
“Ryder, I’m here.” His voice rumbled next to my ear. “I came to you because I want to be with you. I’m not going anywhere, and you don’t have to fix anything alone.”
His words nearly had my tears turning to sobs.
“I know I haven’t done this relationship thing much, but I think we’re supposed to be a team. That means we work shit out together. No matter how messy it gets.”
I drew back until I could see his handsome face, but kept my hands on his shoulders. Touching him, connecting with him, felt as necessary for my survival as breathing.
“I’m sorry about last night. It was supposed to be special. I wanted you to have an extraordinary night.”
Alex smiled and shook his head. “Forget last night. You know I don’t need fancy dinners and shit. Special to me is eating pizza on the couch in our underwear while we binge-watch Reacher.”
For the first time in days, I smiled. It wasn’t huge. My heart still weighed a hundred pounds, but my lips curved upward. “I still can’t believe you’d never watched it until I forced you.”
He huffed a half laugh. “Now I can’t get enough.”
My smile fell. “Did you watch some last night? I wouldn’t blame you if you spite-watched it.”
Sadness crossed his face. “No, Ryder. I have no desire to punish you.” He winked. “Well, maybe I could think of some kind of punishment I’d like to inflict.”
Thank God I wasn’t too far down the rabbit hole of depression, where my dick didn’t react to a sexy quip like that from my smoking-hot boyfriend. Trapped between our bodies, my cock thickened.
Alex’s eyebrow climbed to an arch. “Are you getting hard right now?”
I shrugged. “It’s been a while, and you’re talking about sexy punishments. What did you expect?”
He chuckled. “You’re a deviant.”
And finally, real happiness slammed into me. I shrugged as a large smile spread across my face. “Guilty as charged, but it’s your fault. If you weren’t so good with that cock of yours, I wouldn’t react like one of Pavlov’s dogs.”
Instead of responding, Alex grabbed my face and kissed me. It was hard and claiming, a way to reestablish who I belonged to. He tasted so good, coffee with a hint of the cream and sugar I’d finally turned him onto after years of him drinking black rocket fuel. I loved how a little trace of me bled through his kiss after days of tension and uncertainty.
Within seconds, our hands roamed and our hips rocked together. Just as I was about to dive my fingers beneath his shirt and take this party to the next level, the one where we got sweaty and reconnected all over my office floor, Alex ended the kiss.