Total pages in book: 85
Estimated words: 82077 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 410(@200wpm)___ 328(@250wpm)___ 274(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 82077 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 410(@200wpm)___ 328(@250wpm)___ 274(@300wpm)
Hannah looked over at me, eyes wide, the concern all over her face, and I shook my head before mouthing the words, “It’s okay.”
It was known in our family that every now and then, not often but on occasion, Kola would get overwhelmed. At those times, he just needed an extra bit of care. I was thinking that from late August until now, he’d been strained on more than one occasion and had been holding things together alone, because both Harper and Jake counted on him. Harper leaned on him for support and as a sounding board. Jake leaned on him for a cool head and to keep him on the right path. Kola, as a rule, didn’t lean on either of them. Harper, because he didn’t want to worry him, Jake, because he wasn’t all that sure that Jake could shoulder much. I’d always thought he was short-changing both his friends, but Kola had been raised by Sam, to be a rock. There was, in Kola, the feeling that he had to fix everything for everyone if it was within his power to do. It was a lot to put on himself, but since Sam was the exact same way, I couldn’t very well tell him that he was wrong.
When Sam flipped on the TV, he was absently talking to Kola about how they needed to get some Call of Duty in and that there were some true-crime documentaries he wanted to watch, and thank God he was home because the leaves in the backyard were out of control and he had no earthly idea where the blower was.
Later, as I was folding clothes in the living room—Sam was lying down on the couch, asleep, Jake was sitting in the recliner watching, for some reason, Miss Scarlet and the Duke—I heard Kola and Hannah in the kitchen making sandwiches and moved closer to listen. Was it eavesdropping since they couldn’t see me? Yes, but they had no privacy, and they knew that.
“I miss being able to just have everything for sandwiches,” Kola told her. “You have no idea how lucky you are that you can come over here whenever you want and have things be like they always have.”
“It’s nice to come over and have Pa make me grilled cheese and tomato soup on a cold rainy day,” she admitted. “But that’s one of the many reasons I decided not to leave this year.”
“For the food?” he teased her with a chuckle.
She laughed. “Of course, but you know, mostly for the touchstone part.”
He grunted.
“I don’t think I’ll ever be too old for Dad’s reminders and his hugs or for Pa packing me food before I leave every time and for the ridiculous TikToks he sends me.”
“Yeah,” he agreed hoarsely. “The stuff he thinks is funny—what even is that?”
She snorted and he chuckled, and then they were quiet for a moment.
“Hey,” Hannah said softly, and I moved closer because I barely heard her. “Tell me the truth. Do you resent me?”
“For what?” he asked. Or I was pretty sure that was it. Hard to tell around him shoving, I was guessing, thinly sliced, heavily peppered roast beef into his mouth and chewing at the same time. It was his favorite. I’d bought it just for him and even went across town to make sure it was there when he walked in the door.
“I’m here and get to see our wonderful parents whenever I want, but you’re far away. You’re not pissed at me about that, right?”
“Hell no,” he replied, and I peeked around the corner to see him grinning at her with food in his mouth.
“Oh, you’re disgusting.”
He cackled, and she had to laugh too.
“Listen,” he said, after they both calmed. “I’m crazy happy that one of us is here keeping an eye on them. But I don’t want you to think that you have to.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, if you want to go do a year overseas or across the country like I am, I want you to go,” he assured her. “Don’t stay because you think you have to or that I would be mad, because I want you to be happy too.”
She nodded quickly, clearly touched by his declaration.
“I’m thrilled you’re here, but it’s okay if you’re not. Really.”
“Okay.”
“I mean, technically,” he said, wincing like he was in pain, “they are both grown-ups.”
She scoffed. “Did you see Pa on the video talking to the guy with the gun last time?”
“Hey,” I chimed in—I couldn’t help it—and they both turned to me as I stepped out into the archway that led from the living room into the dining room/kitchen area.
“Hey what?” Hannah snapped, shaking her head. “I mean, honestly.”
“Yeah,” Kola agreed, his tone sharp. “Maybe let the Angel of Death pass you by, huh?”
“You don’t think that’s overly dramatic?” I asked him.