Total pages in book: 85
Estimated words: 82415 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 412(@200wpm)___ 330(@250wpm)___ 275(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 82415 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 412(@200wpm)___ 330(@250wpm)___ 275(@300wpm)
As I wrestle with my thoughts, I suddenly understand why Alexei’s come to the point where he believes the things he discovered in that notebook. I realize I haven’t taken a breath, and despite how fucking cold it is, I’m sweating.
Studying the space under Cody and Seth and seeing Luke’s necklace midair are tripping me out, so I rise up on my hands, crawling backward, away from the window.
Alexei gets on his knees and hurries to me.
I open my mouth, about to spit out a “What the fuck?” but Alexei places his hand over my lips.
*
“I haven’t been sleeping well,” I explain. “I’ve been reading about cults…and sleep deprivation can cause hallucinations.”
We’re back at the dorms, Alexei in the window seat in my room as I pace.
“You know that’s not what this is,” Alexei says.
It’s hard to object when, after I pulled away from the window at the church, I went back, checking a few more times in a desperate attempt to restore my faith in the world I’ve always known. But maybe like Alexei, now that I’ve seen this, I’ll never go back.
He’s curled up on the seat, scrolling through his phone, as though what I saw was some mundane thing, like stumbling upon them playing a pickup game midday. “How can you be so chill right now?”
His brows tug closer together. “I’m a bit ahead of you on this. I’ve known about it since before school started. And I’ve been spying on them for about as long.”
“What you said earlier, about not being able to get a recording of it?”
“There must be a spell or something on the church, blocking you from recording. That’s why they needed someone to go out there and keep an eye on them.”
Another thing that a part of me thinks can’t be true, but on top of all the weird-ass paranormal shit, there’s another burning question in my mind: “Why didn’t you mention Brad was involved in this?”
“I didn’t want to get you all wound up about it, especially when I didn’t have any plans of sharing that with you…until you pushed.”
“So they meet there and like, what, practice magic?” Even after what I’ve seen, that still comes out sarcastic as fuck.
“I don’t want to get into it. I wanted to show you so that now you know I’m not in a cult. Some of the guys on campus have figured out how to tap into this power that comes from something they call the Rift. It’s an alternate dimension, and its energy seeps into ours. Those amulets they wear help them store up the power from it, like a battery. Wild as it sounds, it’s real, and that’s what I’m planning to use to get answers about my brother.”
Now we’re talking about energy from alternate dimensions? Amulets?
Maybe he’s not in a cult, but that doesn’t make everything okay all of a sudden. “Alexei, just because these guys are fucking around with this stuff doesn’t mean you should.”
He rolls his eyes.
“I’m serious. You don’t know what any of this is. What it could do.”
“So these other guys can play around with these powers, but when I want to use it for something, I should play it safe?”
“This is like horror-movie shit. You have to see that.”
Alexei slips his phone into his pocket and pushes to his feet. “You know, when I told you this stuff at first, I was in a cult. Now I shouldn’t be fucking with it because it might be dangerous. I thought you understood I need answers. Are you saying that back when you were wondering about your parents, if something like this had come along, a chance at giving you what you were looking for, you would have just moved past it without even being tempted?”
I think back about that time…the not knowing. The struggle and how it didn’t just become a preoccupation, but an obsession, getting stronger and stronger as my parents resisted.
“We swore,” Mom said.
“We signed an NDA,” Dad said.
But it only made me wonder more—because not only did my biological parents not want me; they didn’t even want me to know who they were. I know what it’s like to be in that nightmare echo chamber of whys, wishing for some relief from the pain.
Alexei’s about to leave my room, but I step in front of him and rest my hands on his shoulders, stopping him. “Hey, you know I would have. I’m sorry. Please let me have a moment to freak out about this.”
His shoulders relax, and he takes a breath.
I try to think where the fuck to go from here. “How do you even know these pages you grabbed will work?”
“When Preston was first telling me about this stuff, he’d done a background check on me, which is how he figured he could trade with me for intel. He said Finnegan had some questions about his mom. She killed herself when he was a kid, and that’s how he got answers—this guide they speak to, the One. What it said totally transformed Finnegan. Preston said he thought it could help me too, which is what convinced me to assist him and the Saints.”