Total pages in book: 128
Estimated words: 121310 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 607(@200wpm)___ 485(@250wpm)___ 404(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 121310 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 607(@200wpm)___ 485(@250wpm)___ 404(@300wpm)
He'd be devastated to know she was planning to leave. And maybe, if my plan works, he'll never need to know.
"I love you," I whisper, pressing a kiss to the back of his neck. "More than anything."
He doesn't suspect a thing. And I can't tell if that makes me feel better or worse.
Later, after he's fallen asleep, I curl up in the armchair across from our bed, another Red Bull clutched in my hand. I watch the rise and fall of his chest, memorizing the lines of his face in the dim light.
I won't lose him. I won't lose this life we're building. Not to her. Not to fucking anyone.
The night passes in a haze of caffeine and determination. By morning, my eyes burn and my hands shake, but I'm still here. Still Anna.
I leave before Domhnall wakes up, a note on my pillow saying I have an early appointment with Dr. Ezra. Another lie to add to the pile, but frankly, I can't give a good goddamn. When I say I'd do anything to stay with Domhn, I mean it. The fury at Mads has shaved down any guilt I might be feeling.
Dr. Renwick's office is in a nondescript building downtown. The waiting room is empty when I arrive, exactly at eight. The receptionist leads me straight to his office—a warm space with leather chairs and bookshelves lining the walls.
Dr. Renwick himself is older than I expected, with silver hair and kind eyes behind wire-rimmed glasses. He stands as I enter, extending his hand.
"Anna," he says. "It's good to finally meet you."
I shake his hand, trying to ignore how mine trembles. "Thank you for seeing me on such short notice."
He gestures for me to sit. "I've been curious about your case ever since we first talked. It's quite remarkable, the progress you've made with traditional therapy."
"Not remarkable enough," I say bitterly. "She's still here. Still taking over whenever she wants."
"And that's why you've come to me?" His voice is gentle, non-judgmental. "You want her gone completely?"
"Yes." The word comes out sharp and definitive. "She was going to leave my fiancé without even consulting me. Just take our body and disappear. Without a word to anyone." My voice breaks. "I can't let that happen."
Dr. Renwick nods slowly. "I understand your concerns. But you know the risks of what you're proposing, yes? Forced integration can be traumatic. In some cases, it can create new fractures rather than healing existing ones."
"I know the risks," I say. "But when my father hypnotized me to forget everything, Mads was gone. Buried so deep I didn't even know she existed. I want that again."
"But you remember what happened when those memories came flooding back," he counters. "The breakdown. The hospitalization."
I lean forward. "This time I'll be prepared. This time I want it to happen."
He studies me for a long moment, then nods. "Very well. If you're certain this is what you want, we can begin today with a preliminary session. But Anna, you must understand—this is not a magic bullet. It's a process, and it will require work on your part."
"I'll do whatever it takes, and I'm not afraid of hard work," I promise. "I just want my life back. I want Domhnall and me to have a real chance, without her interfering."
Dr. Renwick rises and crosses to a cabinet, retrieving a small device that looks like a metronome. He sets it on the table between us, then dims the lights slightly.
"Make yourself comfortable," he says, his voice taking on a rhythmic quality. "Focus on the pendulum. Let your eyes follow its movement—back and forth, back and forth."
I do as he says, watching the small golden weight swing in perfect arcs.
"That's right," he continues. "Just watch and listen. With each swing, your eyelids grow heavier. Your breathing deepens. You're safe here."
The tension begins to drain from my muscles. My racing thoughts slow.
"I'm going to count backward from ten," Dr. Renwick says, his voice seeming to come from far away now. "When I reach one, you'll be in a deep state of relaxation, fully open to my suggestions."
Ten... Nine... Eight...
My eyelids flutter, growing impossibly heavy. It's a sensation that feels familiar.
"Don't let her take him from me," I whisper.
Seven... Six... Five...
The room around me blurs and fades.
Four... Three... Two...
I think of Domhnall—his smile, his touch, the future we're going to have together.
One...
I slip under, surrendering control willingly for the first time in my life.
Because I would never, in my right mind, leave Domhnall.
So I'll do whatever it takes to make sure the malignant part of my brain called Mads never gets the chance to take him away from me again.
EIGHTEEN
DOMHNALL
My fingertips trace the curve of Anna's spine as morning light spills across our bed, painting her skin golden. She's finally fallen into a deep sleep after days of restlessness, not that she'll talk to me about what's bothering her, and her breathing is soft and even against my chest. I should be getting up, heading to the office, but I can't bear to break this moment of peace, this fragile intimacy.