Dual – Carnal Games Read Online Stasia Black

Categories Genre: Alpha Male, BDSM, Dark, Erotic Tags Authors: Stasia Black Series: Series by Stasia Black
Advertisement

Advertisement

Dammit, have they even been fucking?

I still wake up sore sometimes, but then again, I found a hugely stupid goddamned vibrator in the nightstand the other day. What the hell does she need a vibrator for when she's got the real thing there in bed beside her?

For fuck's sake, this was the whole fucking deal! She gets to fuck him, and I get a baby!

No, it's not a deal I made out loud with anybody, but it's the deal I made with myself so everything would be okay and now⁠—

And now⁠—

I grab my fancy clutch purse furiously off the ground to see if I even packed a tampon⁠—

And pull out a pack of cigarettes instead.

I'm going to fucking kill her. My hands crumple the pack.

I told her.

I fucking told her not to smoke.

Smoking makes an inhospitable atmosphere for a fetus. This goddamned bitch. Not fucking our fiancé and now this?!

I keep scrounging in the purse, only managing to find the lighter and then—praise god—one solitary tampon.

I shove the tampon in, then glare violently at the pack of cigarettes, feeling so full of fury at everything, at everyone, at the whole fucking world and my traitorous body that I yank one out and light it.

My body is familiar with how to suck the air into my lungs, hold it there while the nicotine soothes the edges of my burning frustration, and then I exhale the disgusting fumes.

"Hey!" Someone pounds on the side of my stall. "You can't smoke in here."

My palm's pounding the stall back before I'm quite thinking about what I'm doing. "Says who, bitch? You? Whatcha gonna do about it?"

My hand covers my lips the second the words are out of my mouth. But then I hold the cigarette between my teeth as I yank up my underwear, shove the rest of my skirt down, flush, and scoot out the door.

I blow one more gust of smoke in the other stall's direction before putting the cigarette out on the counter and booking it out the bathroom door.

It was wild and immature and I feel high with the teenage hijinks of it all as I skirt back down the caterer's hallway.

It only feels like I can really breathe again once I'm outside in the cool December air. I lean against one of the building's pillars, wipe away the last of my tears, and light up my cigarette again.

I don't take another puff, I just hold it in between my first two fingers. Fucking Mads. Must be nice to be her and not have to follow all the rules all the time. I flick some gathered ash off the end of the cigarette.

Tonight's been like a fairytale dream.

I watch the smoke sadly curl from the end of the cigarette. But all dreams come to an end. Maybe it's time to face reality. I'm prancing around everywhere like I can escape my past and play happy family. I can see that Domhn tries the same when he's with me, too.

But I bet he doesn't have to play pretend when he's with her.

What the hell am I even doing?

It's just like with this Christmas gala. I'm playing at being a family just like I've been playing at Christmas.

I don't actually know what any of this is supposed to really be like. I just want it because I never had it, and that makes me want it even harder. Even if I don't exactly know what it is.

What the hell would I even do with a baby?

I don't know anything about babies.

Gravity drags me down to the stoop, and I land hard, feeling more desolate than I have in a long time.

Family is a word heavy with meaning made so ugly that I feel this compulsive need to wash it clean and make it new again. But maybe it'll always just be ugly and I'll always be this fucked up girl whose trauma split me down the middle like an axe and heaved into two pieces.

Maybe I've still just been playing pretend like I used to when I first made that box inside my head to disappear to. That was a strong enough magic that worked! Except it left behind another whole me there instead, forced to see all I wanted to hide from.

Who will bear the consequences this time?

All of a sudden, an explosion of white light in my face stuns me.

And then I'm light-headed, my whole body feeling like I'm suddenly falling even though I'm already on the ground⁠—

MADS

I barely have a moment to orient myself. I'm sitting down in a too-tight gown with a cigarette in my hand and some fuck-head with a giant camera in my face.

"Hey!" I shout, jamming out the cigarette on the ground and reaching for the guy's camera when⁠—

Pop. The flash goes off right in my face.


Advertisement

Advertisement