Total pages in book: 94
Estimated words: 90795 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 454(@200wpm)___ 363(@250wpm)___ 303(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 90795 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 454(@200wpm)___ 363(@250wpm)___ 303(@300wpm)
“Thank you. I don’t think I can, but Sadie…I need to make sure she eats. Good idea. I can’t believe I didn’t think of it. I’ll go make her something.”
“I’ll do it. That’s what we’re here for.” She hugs me. “This is what family does.”
I nod, words trapped in my throat. She gives me a kind smile, then heads over to Sadie, who is sitting between Colton and Tasha on the couch. She has her head on Colton’s shoulder, his arm around her as she cries. Hannah, Dakota, and Elena are tossing ideas back and forth about what we can do. Christine moves into the kitchen to make Sadie breakfast, and it’s all so fucking overwhelming and beautiful and all I can think is I wish Nash were here to see it, to see how much we’re loved, to see how much he’s loved. To see what we’ve built together and that none of it will work without him. His absence leaves an empty space in the room. We love every part of him—bad mouth, sarcastic comments, and the biggest fucking heart that’s ever beaten in a fifteen-year-old’s chest.
“Thank you…all…for being here. I don’t know what we would do without you.”
“There’s nowhere else we’d be,” Hannah replies.
“We’ll find him,” Dakota says, and now, seeing all the love in this room, I think we will.
“We should make a list of places he might go and start looking,” Hannah says.
“The police are contacting his friends, but I’d like to do it too,” I add.
Seconds later, we’re all in the kitchen, Christine cooking while we come up with a game plan for places to go and swapping numbers so we’re in contact with each other.
We’re going to bring Nash home to his family. Where he belongs.
*
We’ve been searching all day.
Tasha stayed at the house with Sadie while the rest of us have broken up into pairs to look for him. Colton and I went to his friends’ houses first. Unfortunately, neither of them had heard from him, but their worry about him was obvious, their parents’ too. I didn’t know what to say when they offered to look for him as well, other than thanking them and telling them how much it means to me. When we called his coach, he was worried and willing to do whatever he could to help as well, praising Nash for how good he is for the team.
No one has seen him though.
“I feel like we’ve searched everywhere,” I tell Colton. Every park, basketball court, anything sports related we can think of, malls, fucking anything. “It’ll be dark soon.”
“We’ll find him. I refuse to entertain anything else,” he says, and I nod, staring out the window of the passenger seat of my SUV while he drives.
“He didn’t trust me to protect him. He didn’t think I could keep him safe.”
“He trusts you. He left Sadie with you, and that tells you all you need to know,” he counters.
“Then he didn’t think I loved him as much to take care of him as I would her. I don’t know which is worse. I just know I failed him. I don’t want to fail him again.” It’ll kill me to fail him again.
“You’re not perfect. I know that’s hard for you sometimes, but you can’t be perfect. You’ll make mistakes, shit will happen, but you love these kids. You would do anything for them, and they both know it. Nash is just young and scared, but you’re giving them a life they never would have had without you. That’s not a small thing.”
I lean my temple against the cold window. “Thank you, Sir.” I need that right now, want to feel the way only Colton can make me feel. “I want to believe you, but it’s hard.”
“I know, baby.” He reaches over and places a hand on my thigh. “You’re doing so fucking good, and I love you.”
“I love you too,” I say, then, “What if he’s cold? I’m not sure how warm that jacket is I got him, and…” I sit up straighter when I see the high school in the distance.
He found friends there.
He got basketball there.
He belongs there. How could I not have thought of that before?
“Go to the school,” I tell him, picturing the pure fucking joy on Nash’s face when he played in his first game there, and every game that followed.
“Shit. Good idea.” The SUV accelerates, then screeches to a stop in front of the building. The parking lot is nearly empty. It’s the first day of winter break, so I don’t know what I expected—tons of cars and open doors?
We jump out of the car and run toward the front doors. They’re locked, of course.
“Let’s go around to the gym,” he says, and we jog that way, breath looking like smoke in the cold evening. I can’t handle the thought of him being outside at night in this.