Total pages in book: 103
Estimated words: 96970 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 485(@200wpm)___ 388(@250wpm)___ 323(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 96970 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 485(@200wpm)___ 388(@250wpm)___ 323(@300wpm)
I was secretly glad Kincaid’s driveway was at the end of a dead-end road and hidden by pine trees.
Foster grinned. “There are worse ways to mourn.”
Tommy elbowed him.
“What, baby? Read a sad story and I’ll show you.” Foster chuckled as Tommy tried to elbow him again. He failed because Foster grabbed him and kissed him instead, pulling back and smacking his lips. “Mmm, coffee with my favorite flavoring on it. Marian flavor.”
Ella and I shuddered and groaned. “Make Foster do your five weeks,” Ella said, flicking her hand in his face. “Gross.”
Foster shot me a look after his laughter died down. “I figure you’ve got something going with someone else and that’s why you shot Will down.”
Ella’s face lit up in delight before falling in pity. “Oh honey… is this about IndexEcho? Are you having a hard time moving on? Still? I think it’s time for you to call your therapist again.”
I opened my mouth to say no, that I was completely over Index, when I realized it wasn’t true. Even though I knew he was gone, I still cared about him deeply and worried I’d never have the same kind of emotional and intellectual connection with someone else.
“Maybe so,” I said. Because I didn’t want her trying to set me up with someone else as long as I was still sleeping with Kincaid. And I didn’t want any remaining vestige of my hang-up on Index to mess with my ability to enter into a new relationship… preferably with the grumpy fire chief, if I could ever get him to consider me as more than a hookup.
The following night, after being greeted at Kincaid’s door by a wet fire chief wrapped in only a towel, I fell on my knees in gratitude and expressed it orally and thoroughly.
An hour later, after he’d returned the favor and bundled me up in a blanket on his sofa while he devoured the pizza I’d brought him, I told him about the conversation at the cafe.
“I told my sister I was still hung up on an old flame,” I admitted. “And that’s why I turned down another date with Will.”
He peered at me from the other end of the sofa, where he was holding a paper plate and pizza slice above where my feet were making a home on his lap. “And are you? Still hung up on the guy from your past?”
I hesitated. “Sort of? I fell for him, hard. It’s silly because we didn’t know each other that well, but… we had an amazing connection.”
“What happened to him?”
It was strange talking to Judd about something personal. It seemed like I was breaking the rules, only… I wasn’t quite sure whose rules.
“He was the firefighter who died,” I whispered. “The one I told you about.”
Judd’s head swiveled to me in surprise. “Shit, Alex. I’m sorry. I didn’t realize the two of you were together.”
I didn’t correct him because I felt like if I admitted we hadn’t actually been together, he’d think my grief at losing the man was an overreaction.
“I’m trying very hard to be over him,” I admitted. “But it’s not as easy as it sounds. And I… I guess what I’m really not over is this fear that it could happen again. That I might fall for someone, and just when things are going amazing…” I broke off with a headshake.
I’d never admitted that out loud before, not even in my own brain, and part of me couldn’t believe I’d just admitted it now. To him. I laughed softly. “Boy, I am a barrel of laughs tonight, huh? Anyway—” I tried to shift my feet, to put a little distance between us.
Judd laid a hand on my ankle, holding me in place. His expression was surprisingly empathetic. “I know exactly how you feel. It’s similar when you’ve been ghosted by someone you cared for deeply.”
“The ex,” I said knowingly. “Do you… do you want to talk about it?”
“Maybe later. Right now, I want to ask how the fuck you’re still a virgin when you were dating a firefighter. We’re not known for being timid misses.” He winked and took a final bite of pizza before leaning forward to toss his plate on top of the pizza box. Then he sat back and reached for my foot to begin rubbing it.
“Oh, I… well…” I felt my cheeks get hot the way they always did when we spoke of my lack of experience. I didn’t want to admit I’d never met my “lost firefighter” in person, so I hedged. “I guess I wasn’t ready. I was young, too. It was a while ago. In my early twenties.”
He nodded. “Losing someone so young is hard. I can see why you didn’t date for a long time after.”
“That… and moving to Legacy to start Timber.”
“Yeah, tell me more about that. I know it’s a historic building and you spent time renovating before opening.”