Total pages in book: 81
Estimated words: 75650 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 378(@200wpm)___ 303(@250wpm)___ 252(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 75650 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 378(@200wpm)___ 303(@250wpm)___ 252(@300wpm)
Kemli rests her chin atop my head and strokes my hair. “I would feel the same as you do.”
PASHOV
She is distant around the fire.
Stay-see joins the others, sharing soup and smiling as stories are told by the warmth of the fire pit, but she does not speak. She does not look at me, either. Our eyes meet by accident at one point, and I see a flash of pain and the shimmer of tears in her gaze before she looks away, hugging her kit tight to her chest.
Eventually, most drift away from the fire except for Harrec, who has tonight’s early watch. When Stay-see gets up from her seat and cradles my sleeping son against her, Harrec smirks in my direction. I know he is thinking about his joke. It has been days and I still do not find it funny. Even now, it churns in my gut like bad food. I scowl at him and put a protective arm around Stay-see, and am glad when she does not push me away.
Inside the tent, though, she ignores me. When we go to sleep, I try to pull her against me to share warmth, but she gently pries herself out of my grip. “I’m sorry,” she whispers. “I can’t.”
And she puts a rolled bundle of furs between us.
I spend most of the evening staring up at the tent walls, fighting my frustration. Mating with Stay-see should have brought us closer together. Instead, it feels as if she is pushing me even further away.
Something must change.
I am up before the dawn, and I can tell the day will be a cold one. Snow is falling again, and the brutal season will be upon us in a mere handful of days. Maybe two handfuls at the most. I can smell it in the air. It will be another hard day’s journey for Stay-see, and that worries me. I want to protect my mate from the bitter cold, but I have no choice. I think of her red face, burned by the cold wind, and the circles under her eyes. She needs to rest for a few days. The other humans struggle, too, but Stay-see seems to be having a rougher time than most. Is it because of me? Because of her sadness? It fills me with deep concern and eats at my thoughts.
If I could, I would put up a shelter for her right here and let her rest for days, but we do not have that time. The brutal season is nearly upon us, and when it arrives, the snow will not break for endless turns of the moons. She cannot be trapped out here. Not when it grows so cold that the air burns to breathe. She will not survive it.
I must think of her and my son.
I head to the fire to gather food for Stay-see to eat, but there is no meat cooking for the humans yet. It will be a few minutes. I turn away, and I am surprised to see my mother waiting for me.
“My son. There you are. I wish to speak to you a moment.” Her smile is bright, perhaps too bright. I suspect I am about to get a lecture like a young kit.
“Mother.” I lean in and rub my cheek to hers in greeting. “How are you and Father faring in your travel so far? Is your tent comfortable?”
“We are fine,” she says, patting my arm and pulling me away from the gathering crowd. “Your father can sleep through anything, and your sister Farli takes after him. It is me that must endure their snoring.” Her mouth turns up in a faint smile. “But I wish to talk to you of something else.”
“Stay-see?” I guess.
“Yes. My son, I feel you are not very patient with her.”
Patience? I do not have enough patience? I feel as if I have been nothing but patient. I ignore the anger burning in my throat, because my mother is only trying to help. “What makes you say that?”
“Stay-see is very upset with you—”
“Stay-see is always upset with me lately,” I counter. I think of her tears after we mated, and it feels like a knife in my gut. “How can I know how to please her and make her happy when all she does is cry?”
“You are not trying to understand her. She is a young mother who has recently lost her mate—”
“I am her mate,” I protest.
“In her eyes, you are not. You do not remember her. You do not remember your kit. The fact that she is a stranger to you hurts her deeply.”
“I went to the healer,” I say, frustrated, and rake a hand through my mane. “She tells me my mind is fine. That my memories will either come back, or they will not, but she can do nothing else for me.”