Total pages in book: 104
Estimated words: 102361 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 512(@200wpm)___ 409(@250wpm)___ 341(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 102361 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 512(@200wpm)___ 409(@250wpm)___ 341(@300wpm)
Her eyes close, and she buries her face in the pillow, letting out a little moan.
“Hey, it’s okay.” Hearing his name makes me a little unhinged, but I stay calm as I nudge her back so I can see her face. “Talk to me. I’m going to be real with you right now. I need to be able to move forward with you because being without you is nothing but pure hell. I suspect that we can’t do that until you fill in the past fifteen years for me. We need to put it behind us, Jules.”
“You’re going to be so mad,” she whispers.
“Maybe.” I won’t lie to her and deny it. “But we need to be honest. I can wait if you’re tired and want to go back to sleep.”
She shakes her head and rubs her free hand under her nose.
“I’d like to sit up, though.” She pushes up and leans her back against the headboard, then draws her legs up to her chest, as if she’s protecting herself. “How much do you want to know?”
“Every-fucking-thing.”
“Jesus.” She drops her forehead to her knees, and I sit up to face her, waiting patiently for her to gather her thoughts. “I think we’re both going to be mad.”
“Then we’ll be angry together.” I reach for her hand again, and she lets her legs fall, her eyes pinned to her linked fingers. “You can tell me just about anything. I’m not going anywhere.”
“Of course not. You live here.”
Her lips twitch, and I smile at her.
Those gorgeous blue eyes widen and fill with unshed tears.
“I think that’s the first time you’ve smiled at me in … God.” She shakes her head and looks away, pulling herself together. “Okay, so I’m going to talk, and you can ask questions as you have them because it’s a lot.”
“Sounds fair.”
She licks her lips, and I hold up a finger. “Hold that thought. I’m going to grab us some waters. Do you want a snack?”
“Just the water is good.”
I lean forward and kiss her cheek, then climb from the bed and rush to the kitchen, snag the bottles from the fridge, then return to her, sit on the mattress, and pass her the drink.
She watches me as she takes a sip from the bottle, then clears her throat.
“He was just my friend back then,” she begins. “I never lied to you about that. He was my roommate, and he was … nice. Charming, I guess. All of us got along, and I thought he was a harmless, normal guy.”
I nod because I know this. I never suspected that she was fucking around on me with him. She wouldn’t have done that.
“That second year we lived in the house together, my senior year, it was the anniversary of my dad’s death, and I was having a hard time that day. You were at work, and my mom wasn’t answering the phone, and I felt lonely. Just a shit day, you know?”
I nod, and she takes a drink and keeps talking.
“Justin came home from class and asked me why I looked so blue, and I told him. And that’s when the suicide threats started.”
“Fuck.”
She nods. “Yep. He saw the weakness, the thing that would get my attention, and he used it for the next thirteen years.”
My heart stops, and I stare at her. “What?”
“Are you sure you want to know this?”
“No.” I shake my head, but she takes my hand. Fuck, she had to deal with that piece of shit for thirteen years? I finally shrug a shoulder. “Okay, go ahead.”
“Any time he thought I wasn’t paying him enough attention, he’d threaten to kill himself. He did it often, and as you know, that’s why I’d go back to Seattle when I was visiting here, or get off the phone with you. It wasn’t just you, either. He hated it when I talked to my mom or any of my friends. He’d find a way to manipulate the situation and make me feel sorry for him. I didn’t see it at the time. I truly thought he meant what he was threatening. That he was suicidal, and after finding my dad, I just … I couldn’t risk it.”
“Christ.”
“I’m going to skim over some things because otherwise, we’ll be here all night. The gist of it is, he played the role of supportive bestie really well. After you and I broke up, he was Mr. Dependable. Ate ice cream with me, consoled me, told me how stupid you were.”
She gives me a half smile, and I huff out a laugh.
“He played the part. For five years, he was just my friend. We weren’t always roommates, but he lived close by. Then he got cancer.”
My eyebrows climb at that.
“And he told me that his dying wish was for me to marry him.”