Total pages in book: 103
Estimated words: 102708 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 514(@200wpm)___ 411(@250wpm)___ 342(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 102708 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 514(@200wpm)___ 411(@250wpm)___ 342(@300wpm)
When he reached for me, I flinched as my gaze connected with Julius’s. He was still on the couch, except his attention was solely focused on me. I didn’t want them to see how much I was hurting from the inside out and how much it felt like I was being choked with barely any air left to steal.
There was a huge lump I couldn’t force out of my chest. I couldn’t swallow it down. I couldn’t spit it out. It was stuck, a permanent part of me. A reminder of what could have been.
“I thought…” I was unable to finish my sentence.
My thoughts.
It hurt too much, and I never expected it to. I believed in her and took her side against the boys, which caused a conflict between us.
All for what?
“Isla, it’s alright,” Kraven coaxed, reaching for my hand.
I moved it away. I didn’t want him to get too close to me. I needed space, feeling as if the room was closing in on me. As soon as he reached for me again, I ran. For the first time since I had set foot in this house, I chose flight. Defaulting to what I knew best. It was how I survived.
I hate her for that.
Making me become the person I hated, the one I never wanted to be to begin with, but the world had turned me that way. In its cruelty, there was beauty in the form of the Knightly brothers.
I hauled ass up those stairs to Julius's bedroom, feeling sick to my stomach. I couldn’t let them see me like this, not when they had warned me. Not when I didn’t listen.
I was too stubborn.
Too hopeful.
Too much of an idiot.
I tried.
I begged.
I prayed.
When I looked into her eyes, I believed everything she said to me. She was so convincing, so natural, so easy to be around.
“You’re my girl now.”
It repeated endlessly, echoing in itself.
My wants.
Needs.
Expectations.
This future I thought we’d have wasn’t at arm’s length any longer. It was now miles upon miles away. Every time I thought we were close, we were almost there, an issue would arise, and we’d find ourselves on opposite sides of the fence, still looking toward a future we might never have.
Farther and farther, it flew out of our paths.
More confusion.
More questions and no answers.
Waiting.
Everything was intertwined, pushing and pulling in a game of tug-of-war.
I lay there on Julius’s bed with my eyes closed in a trance.
Stunned.
Angry.
Guilty.
It was as though I was having an out-of-body experience. I was there, but I wasn’t. I wanted to open my eyes, but I was afraid of what I’d see.
What I’d feel.
When I was already feeling everything.
Mistakes.
Regrets.
Memories we could never change.
I heard the front door slam. It was loud and chaotic. Full of anger and resentment. I knew it was Julius who left. I felt it. His presence, his heart, his soul, it was all gone.
My heart dropped.
My breathing hitched.
I was lost all over again.
Once I started crying into the pillow, I heard Kraven’s piano. He was playing for me, and my hand instinctively went to the wall. It vibrated into my skin, my fingers, my body. This time, it wasn’t just the music I felt deep in my bones.
No.
It was Kraven’s heart…
That was breaking for me, too.
CHAPTER
FORTY-TWO
JULIUS
My mind had been struggling with a decision, going back and forth an obscene number of times, trying to decide what was right or wrong. The thoughts consumed me until there was no doubt left inside me, knowing what would come of last night.
I had no peace of mind, blaming myself for what happened to Isla. I should have fought her more. I should have banned her from being around Melody. I should have threatened Melody to stay away from Isla. There were so many things I could have done, and still, it wouldn’t have made a damn bit of difference.
We’d always revisit this same spot, to this place and time when Isla and I weren’t seeing eye to eye. It was more than that. We’d been avoiding each other, or maybe it was me. I didn’t want to fight with her, so I threw myself into work. It kept me out of the house.
Maybe that was another problem. Maybe she was lonely, or perhaps she found something in Melody we’d never be able to understand. I still knew so little about her, but what I did know was all horrible. Isla was an orphan. It was only natural she’d feel some motherly connection to Melody. I should have been more understanding and tried to be more patient with her.
I didn’t, and now, she was hurting in ways I understood more than anything in this world. The aftermath of Hurricane Melody was usually filled with utter devastation for whoever was within a five-foot radius of her. She was pulling.
Catastrophic.
Tragic.
Isla never stood a chance.