Total pages in book: 83
Estimated words: 79927 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 400(@200wpm)___ 320(@250wpm)___ 266(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 79927 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 400(@200wpm)___ 320(@250wpm)___ 266(@300wpm)
He had already had that blessing once, perhaps he had no right to ask for it again. Maybe Kiera had been sent to save him, not as a second mate, but as a kindness. As a hand held out to pull him back from total mindlessness. Maybe the way she had saved him was a mercy but not a future.
The thought made something inside him twist painfully. Because if that was true—if he could love her and protect her and sleep wrapped around her warm, soft body every night, but never stand before her as a man, never tell her what she meant to him, never Bond her to him and make her fully his…it would be a cruel fate.
Cruel…but perhaps deserved.
Brux remembered too well how he had given up after losing his first mate. How he had let himself slip into the void. How he had stopped fighting and simply drifted downward into the beast.
Maybe that was his failure–maybe that was why the Goddess withheld his other form from him now–because he had not been strong enough to hold onto it before.
A deep sadness settled over him then, heavy and cold as winter. He felt hopeless and helpless and worst of all, trapped.
Across the room, Kiera had finished her drink. She rose, stretched a little, and smiled at him.
“Well, boy,” she said softly, “I think I’m ready for bed. What about you?”
Brux got to his feet at once. For her, he was always ready for anything.
She laughed a little when he came immediately to her side.
“I know, I know—you never miss bedtime.”
She switched off the main glows and led the way down the curving hallway toward the bedroom. Buck followed so closely that the side of his body brushed her legs every few steps. He couldn’t seem to help himself after what had happened earlier when that bastard had grabbed her–he needed to know where she was at all times…needed to feel her near him…needed to reassure himself that Higgs had not somehow taken her away when he wasn’t looking.
When they got to the bedroom, Kiera changed into one of her soft oversized shirts and slipped into bed with a tired sigh. Buck jumped up after her without even waiting to be invited this time.
She gave him a look, then shook her head and smiled.
“Well, just make yourself at home. I guess I’ve spoiled you.”
Brux settled down beside her at once, not wanting her to change her mind.
Kiera switched off the bedside glow and the room sank into warm darkness. For a little while she was quiet. Then she rolled toward him and put her arms around his neck, snuggling close.
Brux’s breath caught in his throat in a soft whine. There was never a time when her affection didn’t overwhelm him. The simple sweetness of her trust…the warmth of her body curling into his…the way she never seemed to realize that every touch of her hands sent sparks through him and made his battered heart beat harder. It all felt so good–so right.
He never wanted it to end.
“You’re a good boy,” she murmured sleepily, burying her face in his ruff.
Brux closed his eyes.
If only you knew, he thought. If only I could tell you.
Kiera sighed and settled closer, one soft thigh brushing his flank under the covers.
Brux swallowed hard and forced himself to be still. No matter what he felt…no matter how badly he wanted her…no matter how fiercely his body ached to claim and knot and Bond her…he would not frighten her by trying to mount her in his animal form.
Not ever.
If the Goddess had decided he was to remain trapped in beast shape forever, then so be it–he would bear it. He would stay at Kiera’s side in whatever form he could. He would herd her ridiculous escaped theebles and snufflers and jibblets. He would sleep beside her every night and follow her every day. He would drive away anyone who threatened her and, if necessary, lay down his life to keep her safe.
He would be faithful. He would be loyal. He would protect her.
Because he loved her.
Loved her more every day, though she still saw him as only a beloved and unusually intelligent pet. Loved her enough that even if he could never make her his, even if he could never have the joy of feeling the Bond grow between them and knowing she belonged to him forever, he would still stay–he would still choose her.
Always.
Kiera’s breathing deepened as she drifted toward sleep.
Brux lowered his muzzle to the top of her head and breathed in her sweet scent. Then he curled himself more carefully around her, tucking her close against his chest and belly as though he could shield her from every danger in the galaxy by sheer force of will.
Maybe he would never shift again. Maybe this was the will of the Goddess—that he should love Kiera, but never Bond her to him.