Total pages in book: 112
Estimated words: 103754 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 519(@200wpm)___ 415(@250wpm)___ 346(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 103754 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 519(@200wpm)___ 415(@250wpm)___ 346(@300wpm)
“Who?”
“My father.”
I turn to face her, peeling her fingers from my forearm to hold her hands. My mind is reeling as I process what she claimed. The breakthrough lands, calming my tumultuous insides. “What did he say to you?” It’s the first time I’ve seen fear in her eyes. I cup her cheeks and bend down to eye level. “It’s okay.” Her breathing jags as if she might be having a panic attack. I bring her into the fold of my arms, holding her against my chest. Stroking the back of her head, I whisper, “You’re safe with me. Always.”
There’s so much left to say, but maybe it doesn’t need to be all at once. Her body rattles with the emotions she’s probably kept pent-up as much as I have. “Keats?”
“Yeah?”
“Can I stay the night?”
CHAPTER 21
SOSIE
I’ve never known home quite like the warmth of Keats’s embrace. It was selfish to ask to stay, but I couldn’t quite bring myself to stray from a place I’ve always wished to return to so badly. Why would I choose a palace where no one truly cares about me when his arms give me the escape I need from my life for one night? It’s just one night when I don’t return to deal with the consequences of what I’ve always gone along with. I’m culpable. Sure. I’ve been an accomplice to what I created and what was damaged in the process.
Should he allow me to stay? Absolutely not.
Keats owes me nothing. But he’s already given me everything I didn’t deserve. He stood by my side this evening while I dealt with my so-called fiancé and treating me like I’m not the enemy when he has every right to. So I don’t know if he’ll give me more, a night to escape my life. I can only hope.
The shame and sorrow that overcame me earlier have subsided. I finally take a whole breath without wheezing. I asked him without thinking of how he might feel, so I pull back just enough to see the truth in his eyes when he answers.
He says, “You can stay as long as you need.”
“I don’t need much, just tonight. It’s been a lot and . . .” I crimp my eyes closed, wanting to forget anything that doesn’t exist in his arms. “I’ve made a mess of things. I can’t say sorry enough, but I am. I’m so very sorry, Keats.”
“So am I for not realizing how much it affected you.” He holds me close again, this time not letting me worm my way out of this, though his grip is too light to keep me against my will. I wouldn’t fight him, or this. It’s like a vacation from everything that drags me down, a reprieve that allows me to breathe without worrying I’m stepping out of line again.
“I don’t know what happened.” As embarrassment begins creeping up my chest, I turn away from him, still in his arms. “God, I must look a mess.”
I start for the bathroom, but my wrist is caught. I turn back, our eyes latching onto each other’s. He says, “Don’t put on a mask for me. Please, Sosie. You don’t have to hide, not from me.”
One truth I’ve always known about him is his integrity. He won’t sacrifice his truth for anyone. I wish I had learned that same lesson. That would have saved me so much heartache. “I guess it all caught up with me.”
“Holding on to that kind of pain, pretending to be what everyone else wants instead of yourself, is exhausting. No one expects you to be perfect—”
“My parents do.”
He takes both my hands in his and says, “Listen, I know you grew up with a lot of bullshit expectations. I grew up with none, so I’m not exactly a voice of reason on this, but I’m going to give you my opinion anyway.” His grip tightens around my hands as if the importance of what he says is more evident. “You don’t owe anybody jack shit, Sosie.”
I almost expect something different, longer, more rah-rah, go get ’em, tiger. I grin because he didn’t say what I wanted. He said what I needed to hear. I nod because how can I not? He’s right. I’ve had them controlling my life for so long. They can only do it if I continue to allow it. What did I sacrifice my autonomy for anyway? Money. A roof over my head. Clothes. Spending what I want. “I don’t. And I’ve already given so much of myself that I have nothing left. Keats?” I purse my lips and, feeling stronger, reaffirm my earlier decision to leave. “I’m going to prove I can stand on my own.”
“I have no doubt you’ll make that happen.”
I move closer just because I want to. “Hey.” I fidget with the material on the front of his shirt. “I wanted to say something. What you’ve accomplished can’t be taken away from you. My father can’t hurt you now. You’ve made a name and a life he can’t compromise.”