Total pages in book: 43
Estimated words: 42745 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 214(@200wpm)___ 171(@250wpm)___ 142(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 42745 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 214(@200wpm)___ 171(@250wpm)___ 142(@300wpm)
But I can’t say any of those things because Aria doesn’t know. And if she finds out my brothers knew before she did, I’ll lose whatever piece of her I have left.
I shake my head. “I can’t.”
Logan pushes off the wall. “You can’t, or you won’t?”
I look at him. “Both.”
Guy lets out a low whistle. “That’s not good, man.”
“No shit,” I snap.
Miller studies me. He’s always been quieter than the rest of us, but he sees more than most. “Is there someone else?”
My head jerks back. “No. How can you ask me that? I love my wife.”
Zach’s eyes narrow. “Aria thinks there is.”
He might as well have put a fist to my ribs. “She thought that for about five minutes, and I cleared it up.”
“Did you?” Ozzy asks.
I glare at him. “Yes.”
“Then why does she still look broken?”
My hands curl into fists at my sides. “Because there are things going on between me and my wife that none of you know about.”
Ozzy doesn’t back down. “Then fix them.”
“You think I don’t want to?”
“I think you’re doing a damn good job of making her sad.”
I flinch, but he doesn’t stop. “She’s been part of this family for seven years, Penn. She shows up, and she loves all of us. She helps Skyler, Bree, Lindsey, Mom, Dad. She goes to all of Eli’s games. Hell, she probably knows more about what’s going on with everyone than we do.”
“I know that.”
“Then start acting like it,” Ozzy says. “Because every time I see her lately, she looks like she’s trying not to fall apart.”
I look toward the house, and even though I can’t see her from here, I know what he’s saying is true. “I messed up.”
Logan huffs. “That’s obvious.”
I shoot him a look, but he doesn’t care.
“What happened?” Miller asks.
I drag a hand through my hair. “She told me she was ovulating.”
Zach’s eyebrows lift, but he stays quiet.
“And I reacted badly,” I admit.
“How badly?” Guy asks.
I swallow, hating myself all over again. “Bad enough that she asked if I still wanted kids with her.”
No one says anything for a second.
Then Ozzy mutters, “Jesus, Penn.”
“I know.”
Logan shakes his head. “Do you?”
I turn on him. “Yeah, Logan. I do.”
“Then why?” Miller asks.
I hesitate, not knowing how to answer without telling him the truth.
I look down at the dirt floor of the barn. “I panicked.”
Ozzy’s voice is quieter when he asks, “About having kids?”
My throat tightens, and I don’t answer.
Logan takes a step closer. “Penn.”
“I said I can’t talk about it.”
“Bullshit,” Logan snaps. “You’re our brother.”
“And she’s my wife,” I fire back. “Whatever this is, whatever happens, she deserves to know before any of you do.”
The words are out before I can stop them. Everyone goes still, and they’re all staring at me. Ozzy’s expression shifts from anger to worry.
Miller’s eyes narrow on me. “So there is something.”
I let out a hard breath. “Yes.”
Guy’s face loses the last bit of humor. “Something bad?”
I look toward the open barn doors wishing I could escape, but I know if I try, my brothers would just tackle me to the ground until I told them something.
“Bad enough,” I say.
Zach crosses his arms. “Does it hurt Aria?”
I blow out a breath. “It already has.” And with that, it feels like my heart is being ripped from my chest.
Ozzy stares at me for a long second. “Then why the hell are you standing here with us instead of telling her?”
I stare at my brother. He knows loss better than any of us, and he has warned me over and over to hold on tightly to my wife. But this is different. By keeping her, I’m hurting her. And that’s the last thing I want to do. Instead of saying any of that, I shrug. “I’m trying to do what’s best for her.”
Ozzy laughs, but there’s no humor in it. “No, you’re not. You’re doing what’s easiest for you.”
I step toward him. “You don’t know that.”
“I know fear when I see it.”
That shuts me up. Because he’s right. I am scared of losing my wife.
Ozzy’s jaw tightens, and for a second, I see the grief he carries every damn day. He looks toward the house, then back at me. “You still have a wife to fight for,” he says. “You still have a woman who is standing right there, waiting for you to choose her. Don’t confuse pushing her away with protecting her.”
My chest tightens. “I’m trying not to hurt her.”
“But you are.”
The words hang between us, and I look away because I can’t argue with that.
Logan softens a little. “Penn, whatever it is, you can’t keep letting her think it’s her fault.”
My eyes close because that’s exactly what I’ve been doing. I’ve made her feel like she’s unwanted or that she’s the problem. Heck, she’s wondered if I was cheating on her or if I even love her.