Total pages in book: 146
Estimated words: 142214 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 711(@200wpm)___ 569(@250wpm)___ 474(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 142214 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 711(@200wpm)___ 569(@250wpm)___ 474(@300wpm)
“What words?”
“To tell you everything in here.” He pressed a hand to his chest. “I was angry. Grieving. Pissed off at the world. You didn’t need that when you were grieving too.”
“I needed you.”
He shook his head. “Even then, I knew I’d want things from you that weren’t fair of me to ask. You had your own stress.”
“You mean Bodhi?”
“Him. School. Other guys.”
“There were no other guys, Greyson. You made sure of that.”
Again, he thought about their argument in the yoga studio. “I never meant to take it that far.”
She reached for the framed photo of him and Magnus on the dock of the fishery, her hand coming dangerously close to the stack of old journals shoved half-heartedly on the shelf behind the nightstand.
As if sensing the one place he didn’t want her to look, she paused and touched one of the battered spines. His heart stopped.
“Is my name in here?”
“Only on every page.”
She took her hand away and tried to hide a smile. Then her brow pinched with what looked like regret.
He took a step closer. “I loved you before I understood what love meant, Wren. My parents...they didn’t feel what I feel for you. I didn’t grow up around it like you did with Bodhi and Haven.”
She looked up at him, eyes glistening with unshed tears, and nodded. “My dad loved my mom so hard it broke him when she died.”
Greyson understood that sort of love. Every time he tried to leave Wren, something inside of him shattered.
“If you would have told me how you felt…” Her words dissolved like missed opportunities.
“I tried. Every time I fixed a loose shingle or mended a step. Whenever I filled the bird feeders for you or patched a hole. I told you every way I could.”
“But you never actually said the words.”
“I was scared.”
“Of me?”
“No.” Was he really going to tell her the truth? “I’m still scared.”
Her frown reflected some of her own fear. “Of what?”
“That one day you’ll realize you could do so much better.”
She lowered her gaze and shook her head, a gentle laugh softening the mood. “Greyson, don’t you see?” She looked back up at him and smiled, fresh tears in her eyes. “You’re the best man I know. There’s no one better for me.”
His throat tightened as he tried to swallow. “Life’s about to get really complicated, Wren.” He feared mentally checking out, like he’d done when his mom died. He didn’t want to face what was coming. “I have a habit of disappearing when things get too...real.”
“You won’t.”
“How do you know?”
“Because I know you, Greyson. You’re not going to run this time. I won’t let you.”
Like an anchor stills a ship amidst a stormy sea , she kept him grounded in the face of the incoming storm. His father could hardly lift a spoon these days, yet he still intimidated the shit out of all of them. Not a single word of praise in over thirty years, yet some part of him still craves his father’s approval. And he wasn’t going to get it.
Hawthorne men don’t complain!
Stop sniveling!
Toughen up!
Keep acting like a baby and I’ll give you something to cry about!
Greyson’s chest tightened. “This was a mistake. We shouldn’t have come here.”
“What? Grey, no. You need this time—”
“For what?” The walls of his childhood room closed in around him like a cage. “So he can tell us one last time how much we disappointed him? It’s too late, Wren.”
“Maybe for him, but not for you and your brothers.” She pulled him to sit beside her on the bed. “It’s important that you all go through this together.”
Greyson didn’t do togetherness. He preferred to drown his emotions out at sea or bury them deep in the woods—alone. “None of us want to be here.”
“Yet, here we are. Think about how nice it was to have an upside down dinner tonight. You boys need each other. Those silly traditions are what make life bearable. They distract us from the pain.”
“All of our traditions died with our mom.”
“Well, maybe that’s part of the problem. Maybe it’s time you brought them back. It’s like the song says, maybe you just need a little Christmas. You boys are long overdue for a real family holiday, one that’s messy and chaotic, with presents and tacky lights and all the dysfunctional trimmings.”
He drew back. “Sounds…horrifying.”
“It does,” she laughed. “But it will also be healing—for all of you. Trust me.”
He did trust her, but he didn’t share her faith. “It’s a nice idea, Wren, but we might not have that kind of time.”
“We’ll make time. This year, Christmas is coming early. A good, old-fashioned Hideaway holiday is exactly what this family needs.”
CHAPTER 29
“It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas”
Snow dusted the eaves of Main Street shops like powdered sugar on gingerbread houses. Wreaths and garland transformed the town into a gift-wrapped wonderland. The blend of woodsmoke, cinnamon, and caramelized sweets hung thick in the air—a promise of comfort Greyson’s uneasy stomach couldn’t embrace.