Total pages in book: 139
Estimated words: 133655 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 668(@200wpm)___ 535(@250wpm)___ 446(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 133655 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 668(@200wpm)___ 535(@250wpm)___ 446(@300wpm)
“Yeah, buddy.”
“Blake.”
“Yep.”
“I…Jules…me…her.”
He nods. I keep trying to string shit together. We’re practically Moe and fucking Curly right now.
“She’s… I… My heart…might explode.”
“Okay, buddy,” he says, moving immediately to shove me past yet another group of huff and puffers. “Just relax and breathe. I think you’re having a panic attack.”
Yeah. A scream escapes. Yes. This does very much feel like an attack of panic.
“I…Julia.”
“Yes,” Blake agrees. “Julia.”
“Me and…Julia.”
I rub at my eyes. “When she said she was pregnant, I…saw red. And then black. And then blue and green and every color of the rainbow. Fuck, I might have seen my own fucking stomach at one point. I always thought… I thought we were just friends. I thought…”
Blake smiles, the fucker. “Oh, I know. We all know what you thought, but we also know you thought wrong.”
“You’ve known?”
“Oh, Acer, we all know, buddy. You and Julia are the only people who don’t know, and I mean that with every literal fiber of my being.” He points back at Mr. Muscles. “You see the security bouncer guy?”
I nod.
“Even he knows.”
“Well, fuck! What am I supposed to do now? Just go back in there and act like everything is the same as it’s always been?”
Blake’s shrug is so fucking unbothered, I want to punch him in his perfect Dickson Dragon dick. “That part is up to you. How do you handle being in love?”
I scoff. “If I fucking knew that, I wouldn’t be asking you. I mean, what would you do?”
“I’m still trying to figure it out, Ace. Just like you.”
Well, fuck. He doesn’t have the answer either, and it’s because we’re a couple of dumb fuck guys who know fuck all. It’s the women with the knowledge, the wisdom, the value. Our dicks might as well be wind socks for as much control as we have over our hearts.
Usually, when I need help, I ask Julia. But it feels a little fucking different asking her this. And for the first time, maybe ever, Ace Kelly is at a complete and total loss for what to do—and talking my way out of it isn’t an option.
Holy shit, I think I’m in love with my best friend.
Ace
Gary backs the Escalade into the spot in the garage under my parents’ building and shifts into park. I stare out the window at concrete pillars and shifting earth and try to find the will to move, but the magma of tonight’s momentous epiphany has a pull so great that even a hundred-thousand-dollar vehicle can’t protect me.
Julia. Jules. My best damn friend and my girl Friday.
Am I really in love with her?
What do you think, dickwad?
Fuck me. How in the hell haven’t I seen it before now?
“You okay, Ace?” Gary asks, insight into my mood going well past that of some rando Uber dude. Gary’s been driving me since I was fourteen years old, and despite having been through a lot of weird, questionable, freakish shit in that time, I can guarantee he’s never seen me like this.
He knows it. I know it. The universe knows it.
I’m…lost. I’m found.
I’m confused as to who I even am and truly questioning the fucked-up nature of being able to lie so well you even fool yourself. I’ve heard of fast-talking—I’m a master—but I never thought I’d been consuming my own bullshit.
But it seems so obvious now that the girl I’ve turned to for every major milestone…is the girl. The one I can’t see myself living without, the one who changes all the rules—the one who turns boys into men.
The thought of losing her to someone else, the thought of her settling down and making a family with someone who’s not me? Unbearable.
“Y-yeah.” It’s a stutter and so pathetically false I’m disgusted. But it’s all I’ve got, and Gary doesn’t press. “Just a weird night. Thanks for picking me up.”
I made it another two hours at Groove before texting Gary to come get me early, my whole being a shell of its usual persona. My laughs were forced, my body might as well have been controlled by an alien life force—but I managed to hold on long enough to keep suspicion to a minimum—at least, I think.
“Of course.”
Ugh. My stomach feels like I ate spicy Chinese takeout with an ulcer.
Gary’s been driving me around the city for an hour and a half at my request since we left SoHo, which I know is obnoxious, but now that I’m back at my parents’ place in Manhattan, all I can think about is Julia being out there without me.
Fuck me, should I go back?
What if some asshole is grinding on her? What if she falls in love with a sweaty dumb fuck with a goatee and bad cologne? What if…?
I shake my head at myself. The last thing I need to do is go back to Groove and act even weirder than I already was. No doubt, Julia will sniff me out. She’ll know something’s up.