Total pages in book: 91
Estimated words: 89324 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 447(@200wpm)___ 357(@250wpm)___ 298(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 89324 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 447(@200wpm)___ 357(@250wpm)___ 298(@300wpm)
Fuck.
I felt sicker with each minute that I sat here, torturing myself. So I forced myself up and went into the bedroom. I decided to work out, anything to get rid of this nervous energy. I wanted to punch the wall, but I couldn’t with my sweet boy in the next room. This also wasn’t my home to destroy.
As I did push-ups, I felt feral and possessive. I’d made a huge mistake in encouraging Blair to go out. I wanted to be a better man, a stronger person, but I wasn’t. Because my feelings for her and my fears when it came to Taylor were mutually exclusive.
Despite the urge to text her, I couldn’t allow myself to do it. The push-ups continued.
Then my phone chimed.
Blair: How did everything go?
Tate: Perfect. He’s sleeping. We had an amazing time. He’s getting used to me, which is cool.
Now that she’d opened the door, it was so much harder to hold back.
Don’t do it.
Don’t do it.
Don’t do it.
Tate: I fucking miss you, though.
Tate: I thought I could do this, Blair.
Tate: I fucking can’t.
I closed my eyes in shame, vowing not to type another word.
Blair: I know it’s late, but can I come there tonight so I can be there when he wakes up in the morning?
My heart beat faster. If she wanted to come here, it meant she wasn’t with him.
Tate: Of course.
I paced for the next two hours as I waited for Blair’s arrival. The moment I saw the lights outside, I went to the door and opened it before she’d even exited the vehicle.
“Sorry if I made you wait up,” she said, walking past me into the house.
“I wasn’t tired anyway.” I ran my hand through my hair. “How was it?” I tried to ask calmly, even though I was champing at the bit.
“I don’t know.” She shrugged. “It was okay, I guess. We went to dinner. That was it. He seemed very interested in me. But…” She hesitated.
“But what?” I asked as my pulse raced.
“I just wasn’t…there.” Blair took a couple of steps toward me. “I was here. My mind was here.”
She’d given up her life for my child. I owed this woman the fucking truth.
“Well, it’s interesting you say that because from the moment Nicholas went to bed, I couldn’t get you off my mind. I’ve been going nuts.” I inched closer. “I acted like it didn’t bother me that you went out with this guy tonight, but it fucked me up, Blair.” I shook my head. “I wanted to be strong. But… You look so goddamn beautiful. And I just—”
“I got dressed up for you, not him.” She looked down a moment. “But you barely looked at me.”
“I was trying not to,” I murmured. “It reminded me of the time you dressed up at the resort and nearly gave me a heart attack.”
“It’s the same dress…”
“I know,” I whispered.
“It was all for you, Tate. All I wanted was to come back here and be with you tonight. I’m sorry… I can’t just shut it off. I don’t want anyone else. I haven’t since we were together.” Her chest heaved. “I can’t help it.”
The last fuck I had to give evaporated upon hearing those words.
“You’ve been so busy these past few years, trying to build a beautiful life for that boy. You’ve done an incredible job. He’s absolutely perfect.” I ran the back of my fingers along her cheek. “But no one’s been taking care of you.” I inched even closer. “Tell me again. What do you need right now, baby?”
“I need you. I’ve always needed you. Even after I thought you were gone forever, I kept looking for you. I couldn’t handle being with anyone else.”
My heart leaped, and I erased the space between us. “I’ve been fucking pretending this whole time, Blair.”
“Show me what’s real then,” she begged.
I dug my fingers into her hair. “This is real.” I took her mouth in mine and never looked back.
Chapter 32
* * *
BLAIR
The moment Tate’s lips touched mine, his taste was my oxygen. I hadn’t realized just how much I’d needed this until it was happening.
“You’ve been waiting for me, haven’t you?” He groaned over my skin.
“Yes…” I murmured, my legs ready to collapse under me. “You ruined me for anyone else. Don’t you know that?”
“I lost my fucking mind tonight.” He tugged on my hair. “I’ve never been so jealous. You’re the only woman who can bring that out in me.” He looked into my eyes. “I don’t care what it fucking takes. I don’t want to lose you, Blair. I can’t live without you.”
I threaded my fingers through his silky mane. “You already have me. You always did. You’re fucking etched into my soul, Tate. I haven’t been able to allow anyone else in.”
“What do you need right now?” he asked.