Total pages in book: 89
Estimated words: 86537 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 433(@200wpm)___ 346(@250wpm)___ 288(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 86537 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 433(@200wpm)___ 346(@250wpm)___ 288(@300wpm)
“I’m not.”
“Good. Freya is healing and rebuilding. Learning to cope with grief and start over is not for the faint of heart. She’s been working at it for eight years. She is a strong woman—a good person, inside and out. She was a great friend to Anni. And when she calls me her best friend now, you know I’m just a stand-in for the real thing. A second banana.”
Dex smiled at my attempt at levity but sobered immediately. “Is this why Freya moved to the US? A fresh start?”
“Yes. She did some struggling of her own and eventually found her way to Vermont. And to you.” I stared at our joined hands and added, unthinking, “The baby is a big surprise, though.”
“Why?”
I opened and closed my mouth. But I’d already said too much. What difference did it make now? “Anni was pregnant.”
Dexter gaped. “Oh, fuck. Really?”
“Just a few weeks along. No one knew, but…we think she knew. She’d say things like… ‘If I have a baby, I’m going to be a dragon mother. If I ever have a girl, she’ll be a warrior princess. If I ever have a boy, he’ll be a strong lion…very brave.’ ” I wrinkled my nose and shrugged. “It sounds different in Swedish, but you get the idea. She was leaving hints.”
“Why do you think Freya wanted to become a surrogate? Do you think it has something to do with your sister?”
“Maybe. A little. I think she’s facing fear, exorcising demons…maybe letting her friend go.” I rubbed my bearded jaw thoughtfully. “Freya didn’t know about the baby, didn’t know who the father was, and it’s a loose thread that haunts her. Something she’s never understood. Also…she’s borrowed a lot of money from me over the years, and she wants that clean slate. I told her the money doesn’t matter, but—it led us to you, so I don’t mind.”
“Fuck. That’s…I’m so sorry.”
“I know. Me too.”
Dex’s eyes welled suspiciously. “Do you ever think that things happen for a reason? I used to think it was very fucking unfair that my life changed so drastically after one stupid game, but now…I think it was supposed to change. It was fate. And maybe the people we’ve lost look after us. Maybe your sister put this whole thing in motion somehow.”
I cradled his cheek in one hand and kissed his forehead. “You believe in ghosts, eh?”
“I believe anything’s possible.”
His guileless expression made my heart skip a beat. I hugged him to my chest, overcome with a rogue wave of affection for this lovely man. I wasn’t sure I embraced the notion of fate or celestial interference, but no matter how brief it might be, I was very grateful to whatever force had brought us here…together.
CHAPTER 26
DEXTER
The glimpse Viggo had given me into his past had opened a whole new world.
Suddenly, his quiet, standoffish mannerisms and guarded speech made sense. It wasn’t a language barrier, and he wasn’t the loner everyone assumed he was. No, Viggo was a man who’d been drowning in remorse and grief for years. But in the days and weeks after he’d first told me about Annika, Viggo began to share more pieces of his story—and inch by inch, invisible walls were lowered.
Viggo felt guilty about not coming home after he’d graduated from college. “I was in my early twenties in a new country having the time of my life, figuring out all my bisexual feelings and acting on them. It was real freedom, you know? It wasn’t as if I never visited my family. In fact, I stayed for weeks at a time, and I loved it. But I always wanted to go back to Minnesota.”
“Were you seeing anyone?” I asked, applying protective finish on the wood slats of the crib under Viggo’s strict supervision.
“Ha. I was seeing everyone. I was very, very horny in my twenties.” He gestured to the brush in my hand. “Even strokes, like I showed you.”
I shook out my wrist and lifted my brows. “You seem pretty horny in your thirties, too.”
“Yes, but only for you.” He winked and since my ass was still achy from last night’s sexploits, I wasn’t surprised that my cheeks heated. Viggo noticed and knew exactly where my mind had gone—of course he did. He leaned close and rubbed his palm along the inseam of my upper thigh. “I was a bit wild in those days, though. I wanted to do it all. Fuck all the hot men and all the hot women. I figured my big brother duties were over. But sometimes I wonder if she’d be alive if I hadn’t been so self-absorbed.”
“That’s not fair. You couldn’t have known.”
He tapped his temple. “Here. I know that. But guilt is a funny thing. Now when I go home to visit, I don’t stay long. I see my parents, and Lars and Ingrid and their kids…and try not to get too attached.”