Total pages in book: 152
Estimated words: 145155 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 726(@200wpm)___ 581(@250wpm)___ 484(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 145155 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 726(@200wpm)___ 581(@250wpm)___ 484(@300wpm)
He rubs his eyes. “You know what? I know what you are doing. You’re pulling your psychology shit on me, trying to fuck with my head, and it’s working. You know I have a colored past and that I like a bit of kink so don’t act all innocent now. I didn’t see you complaining when you were taking it the other night.”
Oh my god, he did not just say that. I narrow my eyes. “Bit of kink. What in the fuck is that supposed to mean?” I scream.
He steps back, shocked at my disgust. “I didn’t mean…that came out wrong.” He suddenly realizes what he just said and is trying to backpedal real fast. I throw an apple at him out of my fruit bowl and he ducks as it goes over his head.
“Well, sorry, I wasn’t aware that when I was taking it the other night that I was one of the many you were dishing out your bit of kink to. You fucking sleazebag! Get the fuck out of my house!” I scream.
“No,” he yells. “You don’t get to choose how this ends.”
“I just did,” I scream as I storm past him to my bedroom and I slam the door. I hear him coming after me, so I quickly flick the lock.
He bangs on the door. “Open this fucking door!” he yells.
“Go back to the club, Josh, and pick up a few of your harem so you can give them a bit of kink,” I scream. “I’m sure they will love to take it!” The door suddenly smashes, and I jump back from it. I frown. OK, maybe I should shut up now. I hear my front door slam…. And then, silence. Five minutes later I gingerly open the door and am relieved to find he has gone, my heart still racing at double speed, no doubt from the adrenaline of fighting with such an infuriating asshole. I look at the other side of my door to find a gaping big hole where he has punched it in anger. He is so fucking paying for that.
I head back to the shower.
I didn’t get my hot sex tonight, but I definitely got a heated argument. And, quite frankly, I’m too pissed off to care.
16
Natasha
I awake feeling kind of stupid. Joshua was right. I was being a drama queen last night, but in my defense I wasn’t expecting to meet or know a girl that he has slept with. I wonder what she was saying to him…and it has to be frigging TC, doesn’t it. I know I was out of line last night by bringing up his past. The fact that I don’t have a past is not helping me move on. If he thinks he can call me a drama queen and punch a hole in my door then he can go to hell. I am so not calling him.
You know the thing about waiting for an apology is that it’s stupid. Total torture. I think getting teeth pulled is less painful and definitely quicker. At least you can pop a pill and feel no pain. The worst thing is I am overanalyzing everything to the maximum potential and two days after that dreaded fight, I am seriously debating whether I am out of line and second-guessing myself. When the knock on the door came on Sunday my heart jumped and I ran excitedly to answer it, only to be bitterly disappointed when a handyman carrying another door was standing in the hallway.
Hmm, figures. I know he’s not going to apologize. Does he even have something to apologize for? Honestly, I don’t even know anymore. I sit and work on Tuesday after devouring yet another packet of biscuits, staring out the window with my coffee. I’m just so sick and tired of being so up and down. I was serious when I said this is not a healthy relationship for me to be in. It’s totally toxic. If one of my patients came in and told me about this relationship, I would urge them to end it, it’s self-destructive. Why in the hell am I so addicted to him? My heart is aching for him. I have a deep-seated sadness that I know I need to kick, but how in the hell do I do it? I run through the negatives.
He’s my cousin.
Our families will disown us.
He lives in America. He’s rich and famous. He’s a total player.
He’s playing me…big-time. He doesn’t call me.
He leaves in the middle of the night. He doesn’t put up with my shit.
His will is stronger than mine. Actually, he is emotionally stronger than me, which wouldn’t be hard though. I’ve never felt so weak.
We can only be together in secret.
Our feelings aren’t mutual. (This one hurts the most and tears threaten.)
He’s totally gorgeous. Why can’t he be ugly, then I wouldn’t have so much damn competition. Why can’t my attraction to him be skin deep?