Total pages in book: 152
Estimated words: 145155 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 726(@200wpm)___ 581(@250wpm)___ 484(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 145155 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 726(@200wpm)___ 581(@250wpm)___ 484(@300wpm)
Joshua’s phone goes off at two in the morning and he jumps out of bed.
“Hi,” he answers and then he listens. “I’ll be right there.” He hangs up. He starts to pull on his clothes. “Freya is really sick, baby, and I’m going to help Am. Go back to sleep. I might be all night.”
“OK,” I whisper sleepily.
He bends down and kisses me. “Love you. Max is here in the room next door, so you are not alone,” he whispers and then he is gone.
I wake with a start. I’m still alone. Joshua didn’t come home. He must be still at the stables with Amelie and the horse. My stomach sinks, what have they been doing all night? Stop it, you idiot. Without trust you have nothing, the words I have preached to clients for years are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance. Why has he been gone so long? I am determined not to go to him, so I make myself some breakfast and sit on the steps in the sun with a coffee. Three hours later, at ten o’clock, still no word from Joshua. I’m starting to become unsettled.
A girl rides up on a horse and I hear her tell one of the other workers, “They lost her. She died about half an hour ago.”
Oh shit, the horse died. I walk inside and find Max.
“Can you take me to the stables, please?” He nods and finds the keys and drives me in silence to the stables. I wish he would talk more. It would be handy having his insight on things. He parks the car and stays outside. I walk up to the stone building and my heart is in my throat. Why hasn’t he come looking for me? As I turn the corner it becomes very apparent why. Amelie is in Joshua’s arms crying; she is obviously devastated. He is comforting her and talking softly into her ear as he cuddles her and kisses her temple. They look good together. There is a deep connection between them. I can feel it from here. I stand still, rooted to the spot in shock. Out of the corner of his eye Joshua sees me and jumps back from her…a guilty response if I ever saw one. My gut twists as I stand still.
“Tash…we…we lost her,” he whispers.
I nod. “I know, I’m sorry. I will give you some privacy,” I stammer, and I turn to walk out.
“Natasha, don’t go,” Josh calls as he sprints out after me. I feel like I have just witnessed and interrupted something private between the two of them.
“Tash, I want you to stay. Amelie has to wait for the autopsy guys to come and I don’t want her waiting alone. Just stay here with us. It won’t be long.” He grabs my hand and kisses the back of it. My eyes flick to Amelie and she quickly looks down at the ground and bites her bottom lip to hide her hurt at his open affection toward me. My blood runs cold and my gut instincts kick in. At this moment in time I am absolutely certain of three things.
Amelie is in love with Joshua and I am in love with Joshua. And Joshua is in love with the both of us. His past has met with his present but which one of us will he choose in the end? And when it is all over, who can make him the happiest? I’m afraid of the answer to that question because in all honesty I just don’t know.
After everything we have been through, am I going to lose him anyway?
He sighs as he puts his head into the crook of my neck and kisses it. I can feel his heart beating in his chest, his body still inside mine. We are back in my bed in the afterglow of lovemaking, having arrived back in Sydney yesterday. I’m not myself. I haven’t been since meeting Amelie.
“Natasha, so help me god…what’s wrong, baby?” he whispers as he lifts up onto his elbows so he can look at my face.
“Nothing, I’m fine,” I breathe. He bends and tenderly kisses me again, his eyes searching mine.
“Tell me why I just made love to a completely different woman then?”
I swallow the lump in my throat and look away, his piercing gaze too much for my fragile nerves. “What do you mean, Josh?” I whisper as he kisses me again.
“When we fuck…we fuck. But when we make love…I can feel it. Every cell in my body can feel how much you love me. You have never detached from me like that before. It felt like you didn’t even know me.”
My lip starts to tremble, and tears threaten. Do we have to have this conversation when I am emotionally weak from orgasm and he is still inside me? “Maybe I don’t, Josh,” I whisper as my eyes fill with tears.