Total pages in book: 83
Estimated words: 78587 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 393(@200wpm)___ 314(@250wpm)___ 262(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 78587 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 393(@200wpm)___ 314(@250wpm)___ 262(@300wpm)
But not me.
Not like this.
She rested her head on my chest and just held onto me, and I, like a damn idiot, suddenly forgot how to breathe. I just stood there frozen, taking in the feeling of her body next to mine.
“Thank you,” she whispered so softly I almost didn’t hear. “I don’t know what I would do without you.”
Her words cut deeper than any blade ever could. Without me. As if I actually mattered. My hands hovered uselessly in the air before I let them fall against her waist. I didn’t pull her close, but I didn’t push her away, either. The feel of her against me, so warm and fragile, hit me harder than any fight I’d ever been in.
She didn’t see it or feel it, but my pulse was pounding. I wanted her gone, and I wanted her even closer in the same damn breath. I couldn’t do it.
It was too much.
So, I stepped back. I was rougher than I’d meant, and confusion flickered across her face when I told her, “Don’t thank me yet. This is far from over.”
And with that, I turned and walked out of the room, leaving her standing there alone. As I walked to the kitchen, I could still feel the warmth of her touch clinging to me, and it shook me how much I wanted to savor the feeling.
I made myself another pot of coffee as I tried to shake off the feel of Alina’s arms around me. Gratitude wasn’t something I’d ever known how to handle. I’d spent most of my life earning fear, not thanks. But there was a first time for everything. I guess this was mine.
I’d just taken my first sip of coffee when my phone chimed with a text message. Thinking it might be Shep or Conrad, I quickly grabbed it from my pocket and glanced down at the screen. Disappointment slammed me in the chest when I saw that the message was from Viktor.
Viktor:
You coming in today or what?
Me:
No.
Viktor:
Why?
What’s going on?
Me:
I have some things I need to take care of.
Viktor:
What kind of things?
Me:
What do you want, Viktor?
Viktor:
I don’t want a fucking thing. Christ.
Excuse me for caring if you were alive or dead.
Me:
I’ll be there when I get there.
And if I don’t get there tonight. I’ll get there tomorrow.
Viktor:
I leave for the Cayman’s in the morning.
Me:
I know.
Did you get with Jenson?
Viktor:
Everything is set up.
Me:
A lot is riding on those new accounts.
Let me know if you have any trouble.
Viktor:
I won’t.
Me:
But if you do.
Viktor:
You’ll be the first to know.
I expect a conversation when I return.
Me:
Understood.
Now fuck off.
I stared at my response for a moment, and it took all I had not to throw my phone across the fucking room. My brother had a way of making the simplest of things feel like a chain around my neck. I let out a breath and took another drink of coffee. I barely had a chance to swallow when my phone rang.
This time it was my mother. As soon as I answered, she said, “Moya isn’t doing so well.”
“What do you mean? What’s going on?”
“The vet thinks it’s colic. He’s treating her, but it’s not looking good.” She let out a defeated breath. “I’m sorry. I know you’re busy with work and everything, but I thought you’d want to know.”
“I’m on my way.”
I shoved my phone into my pocket and stood there for a moment, just staring at the kitchen counter. It was only fucking Tuesday, and it had already been a hell of a week. The warnings about the bratva wanting a bigger bite of the casino, the ordeal with Alina, and all that it brought along with it. Preacher. Conrad. Mother. And Moya was just one more piece of my world fraying at the edges.
The weight of it all was almost too much to bear, but it was nothing new. I always carried one burden or another.
But this felt different.
This felt like the walls were closing in on me, and no matter which way I turned, something or someone I cared about was going to suffer for it. And I wasn’t sure I had it in me to stop it. Any of it.
Maybe Nikolai was right.
Maybe I had fucked us all.
10
ALINA
“Ihave to go.”
“What?” I gasped. “Where?”
“Into town. I have something to take care of.”
My chest tightened at the thought of being in his apartment alone. It was a beautiful place, and I knew I would be safe there, but I didn’t like the idea of being there by myself. Not just yet. So, I took a chance and asked, “Is there any way I could go with you?”
“No. It’s too dangerous.”
His answer was immediate and sharp, and it took all I had to swallow the sting. I lowered my head just enough to hide my disappointment as I muttered, “Okay. I understand.”