Total pages in book: 98
Estimated words: 95049 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 475(@200wpm)___ 380(@250wpm)___ 317(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 95049 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 475(@200wpm)___ 380(@250wpm)___ 317(@300wpm)
I stop in my place, waiting to see if he’ll do it, when he lets go of the couch and sloppily takes one step and then another.
“Oh shit,” I breathe. “He’s walking.”
With his brows furrowed in concentration, he takes one more step before he stops, wobbles slightly, and then moves forward two more steps, straight into my arms.
“Holy shit,” I murmur, picking him up and kissing his temple. “Did you see that, Vanessa? He walked.”
“I not only saw it, but I recorded it.”
I whip my head around to look at her and find her with her phone aimed at us.
“You walked, Monkey!” she cheers, making him giggle. “Can you do it again?”
She sits on the floor where he was, and I set him down.
“Come on,” she coaxes. “You can do it.”
Like the cutest drunken sailor, Leo wobbles one step at a time until he gets to Vanessa, and just like she did, I pull my phone out and record. When he makes it into her arms, she peppers kisses all over his face, telling him that he’s amazing.
“Want to walk back to Daddy?” she says, setting him down.
“No, Mama!” He hooks his arms around her neck, and my heart clenches in my chest as her eyes go wide with shock.
“I didn’t …” She shakes her head. “I haven’t called myself …”
“I know,” I assure her. “You’re with him every day, and he hears the other kids call the other women their mom. He’s little, and he doesn’t really know what it means.”
She nods in understanding, then glances at Leo with unshed tears pooling in her eyes. “I’m not your mama,” she murmurs to him. “But if I were, I’d be the luckiest woman in the world.”
Then she stands and brings him over to me. “I … I just need a minute, please.”
Without waiting for me to respond, she disappears down the hall and into her room.
“Mama!” Leo yells, scrambling to get down and go after her.
“No, little man, that’s Vanessa,” I mutter, giving him a kiss on his temple. “But I wish she were your mom.”
Vanessa spends the rest of the evening by herself. At one point, I hear her go up to her sewing room, but since I don’t know what the hell to say, like the coward I am, I give her some space.
I’m surprised when she doesn’t join us for Leo’s bedtime routine, but I don’t let it get to me. She didn’t ask for this life. She has goals and dreams, and they don’t involve becoming someone’s stepmom. She’s still young, and she has her entire life ahead of her. She might treat my son like her own, but he’s not hers, and tomorrow, I’ll make it clear to her that I would never put that on her. Just her being in our lives is enough.
I’ve just finished answering some emails, and I’m stepping into the shower when Vanessa appears in my bathroom.
“Can I join you?” she asks softly, hesitantly, as if there’s a chance I’d ever push her away.
“You never have to ask.”
She takes off her clothes, and when she steps into the shower, I’m shocked when she walks straight into my arms, her head resting on my chest.
“I’m sorry,” she murmurs. “I was caught up in the moment, and then he called me Mama, and I … I freaked.”
I lift her into my arms and carry her over to the shower bench, sitting on it with her straddling my lap and the water spraying around us.
“You have nothing to be sorry about,” I tell her, cupping her face in my hands. “Leo has a lot of good people in his life, and that includes you, but you’re not his mom, and I would never ask you to be.”
She nods in understanding, and my heart cracks because even though I can see a future with her, I know I can’t hold her back. Vanessa is meant to fly, and I won’t clip her wings.
“I love him, Lorenzo. I love him so much,” she chokes out.
“I know you do.” I softly kiss her lips. “And when the time comes for you to go back to school, we’ll always be here, cheering you on and rooting for you to follow your dreams. And you’ll always be welcome in Leo’s life.”
Another nod and another crack in my heart.
“Now,” I say, not wanting the time we have together to be tainted, “how about we put this showerhead to use?”
I waggle my brows, and she glances at it in confusion.
“You want to clean me?” she asks. “I think you’re taking this single-dad persona a bit far. I’m capable of cleaning myself.”
I bark out a laugh and grab one of the two showerheads, turning it to the pulse setting.
“No, baby,” I say, kneeling in front of her and spreading her legs. “I’m not about to clean you … I’m about to dirty you up.”